The power of guilt
by Calypsana
Summary: "Promise me that no matter what might happen between us, you will never love me." Ezra looked at her, confusion etched all over his face. Most girls generally asked for the opposite before sleeping with someone. What a strange girl she was! "Because I'm your teacher?" Aria looked at him and for a moment all he saw was pure sadness. "No; because I don't deserve to be loved."
1. Chapter 1

**This is a story I have been working on for a little while.**

**The italicized part is the prologue.**

**I don't own anything.**

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_ 'A guilty conscience needs no accuser.'_

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**Chapter one**

_She slowly opened her eyes and winced when the light which was coming from the little window in front of her dazzled her. She looked around her, confused. Everything was white, shouldn't it be black? White was paradise's color but she knew it wasn't the place where she belonged; as far as she could tell, she belonged to hell. __All of a sudden, a door opened and two people, a middle-aged woman followed by a young man, both wearing white blouses, entered the room and she finally realized where she was._

"_Do you hear me?" The woman asked her while the young doctor checked the machine next to her. She tried to speak but her throat was so sore that it was impossible to let out a single word, so she only nodded._

"_Jim, please, can you call her family to tell them she's awake?" The older doctor asked her intern. The young man complied and exited the room._

_The doctor took a glass on the nightstand beside her bed and filled it with fresh water before holding it to her. She grabbed the glass from the doctor's hands and drank, wincing when the liquid burn her irritated throat._

"_You know you could have died," the doctor told her in a serious tone. She sighed and looked down, staring at an invisible point on the white wall._

_The doctor took a step toward the young girl, lying in the bed and looked at her. "Why did you do that?" She asked her in a soft voice._

_She looked back at the doctor with her eyes full of sadness and then she did her best to form the words and get them out of her mouth. "Because it's what I deserve," she said, looking at the doctor straight in the eyes. "I deserve to die."_

* * *

Ezra Fitz slowly walked down the empty corridor of the high school where he had been working for a year and a half. It was Saturday so he had his day off but Mr. Tamborelli, the principal, had asked him to meet him at his office, telling him that he had something important to talk to him about. Ezra couldn't help but worry about this meeting, especially when he had no idea why Mr. Tamborelli wanted to see him. His first thought had been that he was going to get fired but why would he? He didn't do anything wrong and Mr. Tamborelli, as well as his colleagues, had always told him that he was doing a good job. He was young and not very experimented as it was only his second year of teaching but he loved his job and was willing to do it well. He loved the contact with the kids and sharing with them his passion for literature, but especially, he loved being useful. When he succeeded in interesting one of his students who wasn't really into school in a book, the feeling of having done something useful and constructive was indescribable.

Ezra reached the principal's office and knocked at the door where the middle-aged man's name was etched on a golden plaque.

"_Come in!" _Mr. Tamborelli's harsh voice resounded through the door. Ezra opened the door and entered the small office, smiling softly at his superior.

Ezra knew Mr. Tamborelli for a long time; actually, he had known him since he was just a kid. Ezra's father, a school counselor, who had unfortunately passed away when Ezra was fourteen, was Mr. Tamborelli's colleague and friend. When the principal had learnt that Ezra had gotten his diploma and was looking for a job as a teacher, he had immediately offered him a post. Ezra had refused at first, wanting to be hired for his teaching skills and not because of his father, but the principal had insisted, telling him that he would not receive special treatment and if he wasn't doing his job correctly he wouldn't hesitate to fire him.

"Ezra!" The principal greeted him cheerfully which immediately reassured Ezra. Nobody would greet someone with a big smile on his face when he is about to fire him.

"Good morning, Sir," Ezra replied smiling as well.

"Please sit down!" The principal said, gesturing toward the chair in front of his desk. Ezra did what he was told and sat down in front of the older man.

"I really am sorry to make you come here on a Saturday morning but there is something important I need to talk to you about," Mr. Tamborelli started with a serious tone which caused Ezra to twist his hands nervously.

"I'm listening to you."

"You have probably heard the rumors which are running across the school about a new student who is coming to our school," the principal started.

Ezra nodded in affirmation. "Yes, I did." Since a couple of days he had heard several of his colleagues saying that a new girl would be here soon but he hadn't really paid attention to this.

"Well, that's true, a new student is coming," the principal told Ezra. "But there's something special about her, she's not like every other student." The principal added with a serious tone causing Ezra to furrow his brows.

"Special?"

"Yes, she's dealing with a pretty difficult situation; actually, she has just been released from a… psychiatric hospital." The principal let out.

"Really?" Ezra said, astonished.

"Yes, she's seventeen and she has spent several months in a psychiatric hospital. She's from a small town and her parents moved here because they wanted her to have a fresh start," he explained to Ezra who was listening carefully, intrigued.

"Okay…" Ezra said, not knowing what to say. He didn't understand why the principal wanted to see him alone to talk about this student. After all, this concerned all the Teaching Staff, not just him; Mr. Tamborelli could have organized a meeting for everybody.

"You're probably wondering why I asked you to come here to tell you that," Mr. Tamborelli said as if he was reading his mind.

Ezra nodded in affirmation.

"Well, I discussed with the doctors who took care of her, they wanted to get in touch with me to discuss the best way to reintroduce the girl in the school system. They told me that she needed someone to supervise her, someone to help her to make up for lost periods as she has missed almost a year, and especially someone to be here if she had any problems." The principal stopped for moment and looked at Ezra. "You know that our psychologist left us a few months ago, so I decided to ask someone among the teachers, I thought about it a lot and I chose you, Ezra," Mr. Tamborelli let out.

Ezra looked at the older man, astonished. Why was he asking that to him? It was a big responsibility, and he was young, it was only his second year of teaching, how did he expect him to deal with this kind of situation?

"But… this isn't really in my functions, I mean I'm an English teacher, not a therapist," Ezra replied.

"I do know this, Ezra; I'm not asking you more than to help her to make up for lost period and tests. I just want to know that she has someone she can come to if she needs to." Mr. Tamborelli said.

"But…" Ezra shuttered. " Why me? I'm sure some of my colleagues would be more qualified than me. I mean, it's a difficult situation to deal with, I'm not sure I will be able to do it, I don't have much experience," Ezra told the principal.

"Ezra, if I'm asking it to you it's because I know that you are up to it, and I'm not saying that because your father was my friend. You're young yes, but you're also patient, the kids like you a lot and you're an excellent teacher; it's exactly what the girl needs. I'm sure she will feel more confident to come to a young teacher like you than to someone else. Plus, you won't be alone, if you have any questions or any problems with her, I will be here for you," Mr. Tamborelli encouraged the young teacher.

"Yes, but…" Ezra tried to say. He was not ready for this, this was too much, even if it was just some tutoring lessons, she would probably need more attention than any other student and he couldn't erase the fact that she was coming from a psychiatric hospital. It was a too big responsibility to handle. What if he failed?

Mr. Tamborelli saw the confusion and the doubts in the young teacher's eyes and leant towards him, looking at him in the eyes. "Ezra, if this is a real problem for you, I won't force you to accept, but I do hope you will, because I know you are the most qualified for that," the principal said.

"But what happened to this girl? Why did she spend months in a psychiatric hospital?" Ezra asked.

The principal bit his lip and sighed. "It's a long story; but I'm sorry, I can't tell you anything, I'm not supposed to give away this kind of private information. I swore to her parents that everything would stay between me and them." The principal said.

Ezra couldn't help but be annoyed. How did he want him to help this girl if he didn't even know what had happened to her?

"The doctors told me that she had been treated and that she had been seen by several specialists who all agreed that she was ready to come back to school," Mr. Tamborelli kept explaining "They said that she needed a second chance."

Ezra nodded but the words '_second chance'_ caught his attention. Why had he used these words? You need a second chance when you did something wrong!

But before Ezra could ask , the principal spoke. "I think we need to do our best to help her to take back a normal schooling, it's our job."

Ezra sighed. It was because of this that he had wanted to be a teacher. He had chosen this job not only to teach English to his students but also to help some of them. He had promised himself that he would never judge a student on his reputation and if some of his colleagues told him bad things about a student he would do everything possible to find the best in him. He had promised himself that he would never give up on one of his student, because, for him, being a teacher wasn't just teaching a lesson it was also helping the kids to shape themselves and to become adults.

So how could he refuse? He needed to try.

"All right. I will do it!" Ezra complied.

A big smile spread across Mr. Tamborelli's face as soon as the words fell from Ezra's lips. "Thank you, Ezra, I really appreciate it!" The principal thanked him. "So, I guess you're free to go, I don't want to mess up with your plans for the day," the older man added with a warm smile.

Ezra gave his superior a handshake and made his way to the door. He was about to exit the office when he turned over.

"I forgot to ask, when is she coming?"

"On this Monday!" The principal replied. Ezra nodded and exited the office, not believing that he had only two days to prepare himself for the girl's arriving.

* * *

'_What mess did I get myself into?'"_ Ezra told himself as he walked down the empty parking lot where he had parked his car. He couldn't believe that Mr. Tamborelli had asked him this to him. He knew that he wasn't a bad teacher, his students liked him and respected him but it was only his second year of teaching, he wasn't really experimented.

He wished the principal had told him what had happened to this girl, he was very intrigued. He didn't even know her name, why hadn't he asked?

Before getting into his car he glanced at his watch and realized that he was going to be late for his meeting with Maggie and Hardy, who he had planned to have lunch with. He drove up to the restaurant they were supoosed to meet in and walked at a fast pace to join his friends. They were already here, waiting for him at a table and talking together, Maggie laughing at something Hardy was whispering in her ear.

Hardy and Maggie were his closest friend and were also a couple for two years. Maggie used to be Ezra's high school sweetheart but after high school, they had both left for different colleges and had realized that they weren't meant to be a couple, but also that they couldn't leave without one another so they had decided to stay friends. Two years later, when Ezra had introduced Maggie to Hardy, his roommate in college, during the party that his mother had organized for his twenty-two birthday, he had seen the young man who was fooling around all the time with different girls, falling immediately for Maggie. A month later, the two of them had announced Ezra that they were together. Of course, it had been kind of weird for Ezra to see his ex-girlfriend dating his roommate but he had gotten used to seeing them together and after warning Hardy that if he broke Maggie's heart he would regret it, he had started being happy for his two best friends.

"Finally!" Hardy said when Ezra did arrive.

"I'm sorry, I had a meeting with the principal," Ezra explained by sitting in front of the young couple.

"Is everything okay at work?" Maggie asked him with concern.

"Yes, kind of," Ezra replied.

Maggie furrowed her brows in confussion. "Kind of?"

"Well, Mr. Tamborelli had something to ask me. He wants me to take care of a new student who is coming on Monday," Ezra explained.

"Okay, and, is it a problem?" Maggie asked.

"No but it's not a simple situation, the girl has just out of a psychiatric hospital," Ezra replied.

Hardy let out a chuckle. "Well, you know how to deal with a mad girl, you had Jackie for training, I'm sure this girl can't be worse!"

"Hardy!" Maggie snapped at her boyfriend, nudging him in the ribs as Ezra rolled one's eye. Jackie was Ezra's ex-girlfriend; they had been dating for two years when Jackie had suddenly broken up with him after he had just proposed to her. Hardy had always hated her; calling her '_the psycho bitch' _and when Ezra had told him that she had left him, Hardy hadn't been able to prevent himself from saying the famous '_I told you so_!'

"Hardy, I'm serious," Ezra told him.

"So am I," Hardy replied causing Maggie to look daggers at him.

"I'm afraid I'm not able to handle the situation," Ezra confessed.

Maggie reached across the table to take his hand. "You will be just fine, you're an astounding teacher!"

Ezra smiled to his friend who always knew what to say to make him feel better.

"Do you know why she was in this hospital?" Maggie asked him.

Ezra shook his head in negation. "No, the principal didn't want to tell me anything."

"Okay, but you know there's nothing to be worry about, you will do fine and just because she was in a psychiatric hospital doesn't mean she's crazy or something; sometimes teenagers are suffering from depression and they need to be in a special structure to get better," Maggie said.

His conversation with the principal came back to him and he couldn't help being under the impression that there was something more than that. But Maggie was right though, people had some stupid clichés about psychiatric hospitals and he didn't want to be one of them.

"You're right. Thanks Maggie!" Ezra said, smiling to his friend.

"What about me? No thank you?" Hardy asked with an offended tone of voice.

"Are you kidding me? The only thing you did was denigrate Jackie , who is, for the record, the girl _you_ wanted me to ask out in the first place," Ezra retorted.

Hardy shook his head. "What? I wanted you to _sleep_ with her, not to _propose_ to her!" he scoffed as Maggie and Ezra rolled their eyes.

* * *

The weekend went by very fast and already it was Monday. Ezra entered the school, greeting some students who were already here as he passed next to them before going to the teachers' room.

"Hey, Fitz!" Ian Thomas, a P.E teacher, a little bit older than him greeted him.

Ezra gave him a polite smile. "Ian, how are you?"

"I'm the one who should ask this question." Ian replied. "I heard that you're the lucky one who has to take care of this new girl!"

Ezra couldn't help but clench his teeth together. He had never really liked Ian; he was a pretentious and selfish man who only cared about himself. He was surely enjoying very much the situation and, for sure, if something would go bad with the girl he would immediately blame Ezra.

"That's true. Principal Tamborelli asked me to help her to make up for her tests and to be here for her if she needs anything," Ezra replied.

"Well, good luck! It's always the younger who get to do the dirty work!" Ian said, jumping at the chance to remind Ezra that he was less experimented than he was.

Ezra resisted the urge to reply something to make Ian shut his mouth but he merely gave him a fake smile and left the room making his way to his classroom. His first period was actually with his senior year students, the class where the new girl was supposed to be in. When he entered the classroom, all the students were already sitting at their tables, talking together cheerfully. He looked at the kids, trying to find a new face among them, but all he saw was his students' familiar faces.

He waited a few minutes but as nobody came, he started his lesson after asking for silence.

"Take out your books, please," he asked his students as they complied and took their copy of _The heart is a lonely hunter_ out of their bags.

Once the students had all their books in front of them, Ezra began to speak.

"So, today, I would like you to tell me…" He was about to explain what he wanted his students to do when a soft voice interrupting him.

"Excuse me; is it Mr. Fitz's class?" A young girl asked as all the students looked at her, astonished looks on their faces.

"_It's her, the new girl!" _Some whispers swirled around the classroom.

So it was her. Ezra didn't know what he had been expecting; actually he hadn't even pictured the girl since the principal had told him about her but he was really surprised by the beautiful young girl who was standing in the doorway. She was tiny and very skinny, maybe a little too much, and she had long curly and shiny dark hair which almost reached her waist. She was wearing a purple little dress which fit her perfectly, her thin waist accented with a black belt. But what caught Ezra's attention the most were her eyes, she had amazing big hazel eyes and Ezra didn't think that he had ever seen such beautiful eyes.

He suddenly realized that he had been staring at her for a few seconds like a fool. He cleared his throat and nodded. "Yes, that's here!"

She gave him a small smile and took a step in the classroom before introducing herself.

"I'm Aria Montgomery, the new student!"

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**So, thoughts? I hope you like this. I have already written the few next chapters and the rest of the story is planned out so I know where I'm going. If I see that you enjoy it I would update soon so please review to tell me what you think.**

**Also I'm sorry for any mistakes.**

**xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

**I want to say a big thank you for all the reviews I got; honestly, I wasn't expecting so many reviews. I'm very glad to know that you loved the first chapter of this story. **

**So thank you to each one of you, your reviews made me really happy. I** **hope** **you will love this one as well.**

**Guest : **Are you going to do flashbacks?  **Actually, I thought about it but I decided not to do flashbacks in every chapter, but there will be some flashbacks but not in every chapter.**

**TheGreekGoddessOfPensils** :** Thank you so much for your review, that was really sweet.**

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'_A guilty conscience feels continual fear.'_

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**Chapter two**

She woke up to the sound of her alarm and, for a minute, she didn't even know where she was. Was she in her old room in Rosewood? In the white hospital room? It took her a few seconds to realize that she was in the new house her family and she had moved into a few days ago. She moved into a sitting position and rubbed her eyes. She felt really tired although she had gone to bed early the day before. During the night she had woken up three times from a nightmare; not that it was something new, she didn't remember a single night without nightmares in a year, and she knew that it would probably never stop, how could it?

She stayed a few seconds, sitting on her bed; thinking of the day which was going to start. It was her first day of school; just this thought sounded weird to her. When was the last time she had gone to school? She wondered if during her last day of school she could have guessed that she would not go back to school before months. Probably not, how could she have guessed what was going to happen?

She shut her eyes and took a deep breath; she couldn't think about that, not now, not today.

She pushed her purple cover away from her thin body and slowly got up from her bed. She went straight to her window and flipped open the blinds to let the early morning sun come in. She watched as their neighbor got out of his house and opened his car, probably going to work. His wife had come to welcome her family a few days ago when they had arrived in the house; she had asked them where they were coming from and why they had moved in here. Her parents had awkwardly told the middle-aged woman that they had moved here from Pennsylvania because her father had gotten a new job here; but of course, that wasn't the real reason.

She left the window and walked toward her closet, opened it and looked at her clothes with an undecided look. She didn't know how to dress herself; the last time she had had to decide what to wear was months ago. In the hospital, she was dressed casually, in simple jeans and T-shirt; at least she had never had to wear the awful white blouse we see in movies. She used to like clothes though, a lot, but now that didn't seem really important to her, nothing seemed really important to her anymore.

She finally opted for a purple little dress, took the clothe out of the closet and rolled on it after getting rid of her pajamas. When she noticed that the dress was a bit too large she put a black belt around her skinny waist. She was awake that she had lost weight over the last year, she had always been really thin but now some of her ribs were visible.

After brushing her teeth, she threw a look at herself in the small mirror and left her room, slowly making her way downstairs.

When she entered the kitchen, she found her mother reading the newspaper as her brother was having breakfast.

"Good morning!" She said to her family.

Ella, her mother, looked up at her and smiled. "Hello, sweetie!" She greeted her. Her brother barely looked up at her, his eyes focused on his cereals.

"Is Dad already gone?" Aria asked her mother while pouring herself a cup of coffee.

Her mother nodded in affirmation. "Yes, he was afraid of being late for his first day of work, you should have seen him, he was like a kid on his first day of school, right Mike?" Her mother asked, looking at her son.

"Yeah," his brother replied while keeping eating his cereals.

"What about you, Mom? Do you have plans for today?" Aria asked her mother.

Her mother shook her head in negation. "Not really, I will probably look for a job and I think I will go to the grocery store after driving the two of you to school!"

Her brother immediately stopped eating and looked at his mother. "What? You want to drive us to school?"

"Yes, that's the plan!" Her mother replied, astonished.

"Are you kidding me? I don't want the others to see me with _her_!" He said gesturing toward his sister.

"Mike…" Her mother tried to say.

"I don't want anybody to know that I'm her brother. Do you hear me, Aria? You better not say anybody that we're related! I don't want to be seen as the mad girl's brother!" Mike shouted.

"Mike!" Ella snapped at her son. "Apologize immediately! That's really mean!"

Aria put her hand on her mother's arm. "Mom, it's okay!"

"No, it's not okay!" Ella got angry. "Mike, I don't want you to talk to your sister this way, so apologize!"

Mike shook his head, anger all over his face. "It's unbelievable how everybody in this family takes her defense. I can't believe that I'm the bad guy after what she did!" He then turned toward his sister. "I wish you had stayed in the hospital!"

"Mike! That's enough now!" Ella said, scandalized by her son's words.

Without adding a word, Mike took his bag and hurried toward the door.

"Mike!" Ella called after her son in an attempt to stop him. But the young boy didn't even turn over and left the house, violently slamming the door behind him.

Ella sighed and turned toward her daughter. "Aria, I'm sorry for what happened. He doesn't mean it; he is just…having a hard time."

Aria gave a weak smile to her mom. "It's okay, Mom, don't worry." But she knew that her brother perfectly meant what he had said. Seeing her little brother, whose she had been so close to in the past, hate her like that was painful, but she wasn't angry with him for what he had said; after all, he had only said the truth. And maybe he was right; maybe she shouldn't have left the hospital.

"Come on, honey, I'm going to drive you to school, if you're ready," her mom said.

Aria bit her lip. Was she really ready? Was it a good idea? She knew that the doctors had said that she was ready but she didn't know if she really was. She had almost forgotten how it was to do all the things normal people do, the things she did _before._

Her mother noticed the worried expression on her face and gently brushed her cheek with her thumb like she used to do when she was a little girl. "It's going to be alright, Aria!" She tried to reassure her. "I know you're worried and it's perfectly normal, but now everything is different, we're not in Rosewood anymore, nobody knows about… you know. It's a chance for you to have a fresh start; it's a chance for all of us."

Aria nodded but her ears perked up at her mother's words. _A chance. _She didn't say anything, but deep down, she knew she didn't deserve a chance to have a fresh new, but she had to try, for her family, they had already been through so much because of her.

"And you know," her mother added. "The principal told me that a teacher would help you to make up for the months you missed."

Aria looked up at her mother as a thought hit her. "Do they know? I mean, the teachers? Do they know about me?" She nervously asked.

"Well, they know where you were last year, the principal had to tell them, but they don't know what happened, only the principal knows but he gave me his word that it would stay between us, he won't tell anybody, don't worry."

Aria sighed and forced a smile. "Okay."

"Come on, let's go!" Her mother said, taking her keys before walking to the door.

* * *

She nervously made her way into the school, walking along the lockers by trying to follow the map of the high school that the principal had given her. She was a little bit late but some students were still in the corridors, seeking into their lockers. They looked at her when she passed next to them and she couldn't help biting her lip.

'_They don't know, they're only looking at you because you're new. They don't know' S_he kept telling herself as she walked to her first period which happened to be English. It was one of her favorite subjects. She had always loved reading; she used to spend hours in her room, unable to stop reading a book. It permitted her to escape reality, to travel all over the world even if she didn't leave her room. But now it was different; she hadn't read a single book since what had happened, because now, even a book was not enough to escape her life and reality.

When she reached the classroom where she had to be in, she noticed that the door wasn't completely closed even if the teacher, who was slightly turning his back to her, had already started his lesson. She stood in the doorway, not knowing if she should knock or simply address the teacher, but after a few seconds of hesitation and because some of the students had already noticed her presence, she spoke out loud.

"Is it Mr. Fitz's class?" She asked, reading the name which was written on her planning. The teacher turned over and met her gaze. He was very young and Aria came to the conclusion that he was definitively not working for a long time. He had black curly hair and dark blue eyes, which was a perfect mix. He stared at her for a few seconds and she felt his eyes on her, taking in every detail of her, causing her to blush slightly.

Then, he cleared his throat and answered her. "Yes, that's here!"

She slowly entered the classroom and introduced herself. "I'm Aria, the new student!"

Once again, Mr. Fitz stared at her a few seconds before replying. "Welcome to my class, Aria!" He greeted her, smiling. "Please take a seat."

Aria motioned to the only seat available, near the window and sat down beside a tall girl who flashed her a smile.

Mr. Fitz waited for her to be settled and pointed to his copy of _The heart is a lonely hunter. _

"This is the book we're working on; I will give you a copy at the end of the class so you will be able to start reading," he told her.

"Actually, I have already read it, I will bring it next time," Aria replied.

Mr. Fitz smiled. "Good!"

The tall girl beside her leant toward her to whisper something in her ear. "You can follow with me," she said, putting her book in the middle of the table.

Aria gave the girl a small smile. "Thank you."

"By the way, I'm Spencer!" The girl whispered to Aria.

The lesson went well, as she had already read the book, she was able to understand what the teacher was talking about but she felt Mr. Fitz's gaze on her many times. She remembered what her mother had told her: the teachers knew about her! So he was probably just intrigued by the new freak he had to take in his class.

When the bell rang, she grabbed her stuffs and was about to exit the classroom when Mr. Fitz stopped her. "Aria, can you please stay for a few minutes? I would like to talk to you."

She nodded and he watched as she nervously played with her hands while they were waiting for every student to be out.

"So, I hope this first lesson was okay for you," he told her once the last student had exited the classroom.

She nodded in affirmation. "Yes, that was fine."

"Good. I just want to inform you that I'm the one who will help you for your make-up tests," he told her. "We could start tomorrow after class, if it's okay for you?"

Aria nodded. "Yes, of course." It wasn't as if she had something to do after school or some friends to get out with.

Mr. Fitz seemed to hesitate a second before speaking again. "I also want you to know that I'm here for you if you have any kind of problems, I know it's probably… not really easy," he gently told her.

Aria didn't know what to say, what was he talking about? She wanted to be clear, she didn't need any psychologist, she had had enough, if he thought that she was the kind of girl who was going to come to her teacher to tell him her problems, he was wrong.

Ezra watched as her face fell and he mentally berated himself for saying what he had said. She visibly didn't want to talk to anybody and he knew he had to do something to fix it before she gets upset.

"I mean, if you have any problem with school or a test," Ezra corrected himself. He saw Aria's features relax and he let out a small sigh of relief when he realized that he had said the right thing.

Aria gave him a weak smile. "Okay, thank you."

"So, I think you're free to go." Ezra told her, not wanting to make her late for her second period. "I see you tomorrow."

Aria nodded and exited the classroom.

After Aria's leaving, Ezra sat at his desk and began to correct some tests but he stopped a few seconds later, unable to stop thinking of his new student. He couldn't help being angry with himself for what he had said; he shouldn't have told her that he was here to help her. It was as if he had told her _'I know that you were in a psychiatric hospital last year so don't worry, Dr. Fitz is here for you!' _During the whole conversation that he had had with her, he hadn't been unable to stop himself from staring into her hazel eyes. He had never seen someone whose eyes were so fascinating. But there was also something else in the young girl's eyes and if he had to describe what he had seen in her beautiful hazel eyes, he would use one word: sadness.

* * *

After her conversation with Mr. Fitz, Aria walked to the locker the principal had given her; she opened it and started to put her books inside. As she looked briefly around her, she suddenly saw her brother walking in the corridors and talking with two other sophomore kids; she felt the urge to walk toward him to ask him how his first period had gone but she remembered that he didn't want anything to do with her and she wanted to respect his choice. He glanced at her as he passed next to her but immediately turned his look away as if he hadn't even seen her.

"Hey, Aria?" someone said behind her.

Aria turned over to look at the person who had called out her name and smiled when she recognized, Spencer, the girl who was sitting next to her in English class.

"What did Mr. Fitz want?" Spencer asked Aria.

"He wanted me to know that he is the one who is going to help me to make up for lost period," Aria answered. She immediately regretted her words when she saw Spencer furrow her brows in confusion.

"Why do you need to catch up?"

Aria realized that she should have been more careful, she couldn't give away too much information about her past or, in two days, every student would know that she was coming from a psychiatric hospital. "Hum, I got sick last year and I missed school a lot!" She lied.

She felt a huge relief when Spencer seemed to buy her excuse.

"Well, you're lucky it's with Fitz, he is pretty cute, don't you think?" Spencer said smirking.

She gave a bashful smile to Spencer as her teacher's face came to her mind. "Yes, he is!"

Spencer smiled widely. "You know, last year, some girls screwed up their tests on purpose to have some particular lesson with him!"

"Really?" Aria said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes!" Spencer laughed. "Unfortunately, they ended up having particular lessons with Mrs. Welch!"

All of a sudden, a girl with long blond hair interrupted them. "Spence, there you are! You will never guess what Mona told me!"

Spencer looked at the girl and smiled. "Hanna, this is Aria, she's new! Aria, this is Hanna, my friend!" Spencer introduced Aria to her friend.

Aria smiled softly at Hanna. "Nice to meet you."

But the teenage girl didn't even reply and seemed to be looking intensively at Aria, or to be exact at Aria's shoes.

"Hanna?" Spencer said, astonished by her friend's bad manners.

Hanna looked up at Aria and apologized. "Oh Sorry, but where did you get your boots? They're amazing!"

Aria was about to reply when she suddenly realized something and stopped as the day she had brought the boots Hanna was talking about came back to her. She realized that she hadn't even thought about that when she had chosen these shoes before going to school. This was only a few weeks before everything happened; she was still a normal girl then, a happy teenage girl who didn't have a clue what nightmare she would get into. She perfectly remembered this day, but especially, she remembered who she was with.

"I don't remember actually," she replied quickly, wanting to drop the subject as fast as possible. To her relief, the bell rang, announcing the second period.

"We should go," Spencer said.

"Is it still okay for this afternoon?" Hanna asked her friend. "Emily can't, she's going to swim!"

"Sure!" Spencer told her before looking at Aria. "Aria, you should go with us, we're going shopping."

Hanna's face lighted up and a big smile spread across her face. "Oh yes, I'm sure we will get along well, Spencer and I haven't exactly the same tastes!"

Aria couldn't help but agree with that. Even if the two friends were both really pretty, they also were really different. Spencer was wearing a very strict outfit and her hair was tight up in a bun as Hanna could easily come from a fashion magazine with her pink dress and her long blond hair falling down her shoulders.

"So, what do you think?" Hanna asked Aria excitedly.

Aria bit her lip nervously before answering the two girls. "I'm sorry but I can't!"

Deception spread across Hanna's face. "Too bad. Maybe another time then!"

"Sure," Aria replied.

They said goodbye and walked to their respective classes. Aria sighed when the girl left and made her way to her second period. She had lied to the girls, she had no intention to ever go out with them, not because she didn't like them, the two girls seemed adorable, but because she couldn't have friends, she just couldn't.

* * *

She came back home from school around five o' clock, her mother had asked her if she wanted her to pick her up, but her new house being only twenty minutes away from the school , she had decided to walk. She loved walking anyway; it permitted her to think and to clear her head.

When she entered her house, she found her mother in the living room, painting a vase. Her mother had always loved painting, she once had a gallery where she exposed her paintings but Aria knew that her mother had stopped painting after what had happened so she couldn't help but smile when she saw that she had started again, even if it was just a little bit. But her smile dropped when she noticed the empty glass of wine on the corner of the table. She was awake that her mother had been drinking lately, too much. But she hadn't said anything and had no intention to. How could she blame her when it was her fault if she had started drinking?

"Hey, sweetheart!" Her mother greeted her when she noticed her daughter .

Aria smiled to her mother. "You're painting again?"

Her mother nodded in affirmation. "Yes, oh it's nothing but, well, yes!"

"It's beautiful Mom," Aria said looking at the magnificent details painted on the vase.

Her mother smiled. "Thank you, honey. How was your day?" She asked her with concern.

"Fine. It was fine." Aria replied.

"Good, have you met the teacher who is going to help you for your make-up tests?" Her mother asked.

Mr. Fitz's face instantly came to her mind. "Yes, he seems nice."

"And have you talked to other students?"

Aria nodded as she remembered her brief conversation with Hanna and Spencer. "Yes, I did."

A smile spread across her mother's face. "Great; it's good for you to make some friends."

Aria shook her head. "They're not my friends, Mom."

"Of course," her mother replied. "You just met them, but they could be!"

"Mom, I don't want friends!" Aria sternly told her.

Her mother furrowed her brows, confusion all over her face. "Why?"

"You know why, Mom."

Her mother was about to say something but Aria cut her off. "I'm going to my room; I already have some homework to do!" She said making her way upstairs before her mother could add anything.

She reached her room, got rid of her bag and sat on her bed. She couldn't believe that her mother had asked her this question, she should know, she should know why it was so impossible for her to have friends.

She stayed on her bed for a few minutes and, all of a sudden, she got up, locked her door and kneeled down to take something under her bed. She removed a tiny carton and looked at it. The doctors had told her to get rid of everything, saying that it wasn't a good idea to keep these kinds of memories. She had listened to them and had gotten rid of a lot of things but she hadn't been able to bring herself to get rid of this. She carefully opened the small box where were the only things she had kept: a thread bracelet and a photo. She took the photo with her trembling hands and looked at the two faces who were cheerfully smiling to the camera. She slowly let her fingers running across the glossy paper, caressing one of the smiling faces as a tear rolled down her cheek.

* * *

**So? What do you think? I hope you like it. Please review.**

**xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

**Once again, thank you so much for all the reviews, seriously, thank you to each one of you.**

******TheGreekGoddessOfPencils : Once again thank you for your review which was really kind. As for the Point of view question, I did it on purpose, actually I prefer to mix the POV when the characters are together, in the next chapters there will even be other characters' POV. **

* * *

_'A guilty conscience is a hidden enemy.'_

* * *

**Chapter three**

Ezra glanced at the watch that he always had around his wrist as it belonged to his father, and hurried up in order to finish preparing the papers he had to do before his tutoring session with Aria. She should be here soon; they had planned to meet in his classroom after her last period. He was a little bit nervous about this first tutoring session with her, especially after the last time they had talked. He didn't' really know how to act around her, but he had come to the conclusion that, if he wanted things to go well, he had to act around her like around any other students.

As he was looking at his watch again, he heard a knock on his classroom door.

"Come in!"

The door opened, revealing Aria, who slowly stepped into the classroom. Once again, Ezra couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. Contrary to the day before, she wasn't wearing a dress but black skinny jeans with a red coat which perfectly matched with her long dark hairs which were tight up in a high ponytail.

"Hello, Aria!" Ezra greeted her, smiling softly at her.

Aria smiled as well and Ezra gestured toward the seat in front of him for her to sit down. She did, and removed her coat, revealing the black blouse she had under.

"So, are you ready for the lesson?" Ezra asked her.

Aria nodded in affirmation. "Yes, I brought the books the principal told me the other students had studied last year, " she said by taking out of her bag a copy of _To kill a mockingbird_, _The scarlet letter_ and _The catcher in the rye._

"Did you read the three of them?" Ezra asked her.

"Yes, I did."

"Good. Do you want to start with one in particular? Which one is your favorite?" The young teacher asked.

"Hum, I would say _The scarlet letter_ even if I do love _The catcher in the rye_ too," Aria replied.

Ezra furrowed his brows. "You don't like _To kill a mockingbird_?" He asked Aria, surprised. Ordinary, his students loved this book; Ezra, himself, really loved this novel which was one of his favorites since he had read it when he was fourteen. But maybe it was due to the fact that it was his father's favorite book. His father had always wanted him to read it ever since he had turned twelve, but Ezra was more interested in video games than books and had never opened Harper Lee's novel. The night of his father's funerals, as he couldn't sleep, Ezra had entered his father's office and had taken the old book from the bookshelf. He had read it all night, in his bed with a flashlight, not wanting to wake up his little brother who was sleeping in the bed beside him while his mother's sobs, that he could hear through the thin walls, interrupted the silence of the night every few seconds. The story was really good, but it wasn't what had kept him awake all night, it was the feeling that, by reading the book, he was close to his father.

"Not really." Aria replied. "I mean, it's a great book but I don't like the fact that Atticus wants to put the blame on his son to protect Boo Radley."

"Yes, but he is doing it because he knows that Boo Radley doesn't have a chance, people already think that he is a criminal, but his son doesn't risk anything, he is just a kid." Ezra exposed his point of view.

"Yes, but it's not the point," Aria contested. "I think everybody should pay for his faults."

Ezra looked at her, confusion written on his face. "But Boo Radley did it to protect Atticus's kids!"

"I know," Aria told him. "But it doesn't matter why he did it, he killed a man and he should pay for that. I'm sure Atticus thinks he is doing him a favor, but he is wrong, it will be worse for him."

Once again Ezra furrowed his brows. "Why?" He asked her, astonished.

"Because of the guilt! He will feel guilty for the rest of his life and it will destroy him, guilt is worse than anything," Aria said.

For a moment, Ezra studied her face. Aria wasn't even looking at him and, for a second, it was as if she wasn't even there, as if she wasn't even talking to him, as if she was lost in her own world, million kilometers away from the classroom they were in. Ezra wanted to ask her why she had said that, but once again, he realized that it would be a mistake.

"Well, it's a way of looking at it!" Ezra said pulling Aria back to reality. "Let's start by _The scarlet letter_ then."

Aria nodded and opened her copy of Nathaniel Hawthorne's book as Ezra took out his notes from his bag.

The two of them worked during almost two hours; Ezra was impressed by her work, even if she had missed almost a year of school, she was pretty good and had the same level than his other students who hadn't missed a year.

"Well, I guess it's all for today." Ezra said when he noticed that they had been working for a long time. "We did a pretty good job!"

Ezra gave back Aria's book that he had been holding in his hands and when she took it from his hands, their fingers brushed against each other causing Ezra's heart to beat faster and Aria to blush slightly. Ezra nervously cleared his throat as Aria immediately took her hand away.

"Well, see you tomorrow in class!" Ezra the young girl, wanted to break the awkward silence which was filling the room.

Aria nodded. "Yes, of course. Have a good evening Mr. Fitz," she said, making her way to the door.

Once Aria had exited the classroom, Ezra sat at his desk and sighed. He couldn't believe the way his heart had beat when his fingers had touched Aria's. How could she have this kind of effect on him? He had never felt like that around a student.

He shook his head and rolled his eyes; this was nothing, he was just intrigued by her because of her special situation. That was all; there was nothing to worry about.

* * *

When Aria came back home after her lesson with Ezra, it was almost dinner time and there was a delicious macaroni smell which had filled the whole house causing Aria's stomach to ache.

"_Aria_?" Her mother called out from the kitchen.

"Yes, I'm back." She answered her mother, removing her red coat before hanging it on the coat rack.

"_Good, dinner's ready!" _Her mother said.

Aria made her way to the kitchen where her whole family was already sitting at the table. She had barely seen her father the day before as he had come back home from work late and was already gone when she had gotten up.

"Hey, Dad!" she greeted him.

Her father looked up at her and gave her a small smile as she took a seat around the table. "Aria how was school? I didn't get a chance to ask yesterday?" Byron asked his daughter.

"It was fine, everything's okay. I had my first tutoring session today," she replied.

Her father smiled softly. "Good."

"What about you? Do you love your new job?" She asked him. Her father was a college teacher and she knew that his job was very important to him; he had been very afflicted to leave the college where he taught in Rosewood. One more thing she was responsible for.

Her father nodded. "Yes, it has been okay so far."

Father and daughter glanced at each other quickly before Byron turned his look away from her, looking down at his plate that his wife had just filled with macaroni. They used to be pretty close to each other, but since what had happened, everything had changed. Her father had visited her in the hospital three times a week with her mother, but he had always been really distant and it wasn't getting better now that she was back home. He seemed to try to avoid her as much as he could and their conversations barely lasted more than a few minutes.

"And you Mike? Everything's okay at school?" her mother asked Aria's brother while pouring herself a glass of wine.

A small smile spread across Mike's face. "Yes, the coach took me in Lacrosse Team!" The teenage boy proudly replied.

Her mother smiled widely at her son. "That's great, honey!"

"Yeah, congratulations," Aria told her brother. She hadn't even talked to Mike since the last morning, but she didn't want to bother him when he obviously didn't want to talk to her.

To her surprise, Mike nodded and even gave her a side smile. "Thank you."

Aria then turned to her father, expecting him to react ,but he didn't say anything, his eyes focused on her mother who was bringing the glass of wine she had just poured herself a few seconds earlier, to her lips.

"You should go easy on that, Ella," he told her, pointing at her glass filled with red wine.

Ella looked at her husband, amazed. "What are you talking about?"

Byron sighed. "You know what I'm talking about, Ella!"

"Actually, no I don't!" Her mother replied, challenging her husband.

Aria could feel the tension build in the room and she could almost guess what was going to happen.

"Well, if you want me to tell it out loud…" Her father started. "We're just at the beginning of the meal and it's already your third glass of wine."

Aria's mother's eyes widened. "What are you trying to say? That I'm an alcoholic?" Ella said, getting upset.

"I don't know, are you?" Byron asked his wife, looking at her straight in the eyes.

The middle-aged woman looked at both of her children then at her husband, a light shade of red coloring her cheeks, and Aria couldn't say if it was because of the alcohol, the anger or the shame.

Her mother swallowed hard and looked at Aria and Mike. "Kids, I think it's better if you go to your rooms."

"But.." Mike tried to say.

"Now, Mike!" Ella sternly said.

"Damn it!" The young boy swore, throwing his towel onto his plate that he hadn't even gotten the chance to taste, before getting up from the table and making his way upstairs followed by Aria.

"_I can't believe you said such a thing in front of the kids!" _Aria heard her mother shout at her father. She stopped on the last step, unable to go to her room while her parents were fighting.

"_Why? This is not true maybe?" _Her father's harsh voice resounded in the house.

"_Of course not!" _Her mother defended herself.

"_Please, Ella, how many glasses of __wine did you drink today? _Her father confronted his wife.

"_It's none of your business!" _Aria's mother yelled. _"And it's not the point! How could you say that in front of my children?" _

"_Your children?" Byron shouted. "They're mine too!"_

"_Oh really? So why don't you spend more time with them? You barely spoke to your daughter!" _Her mother snapped.

"_I'm trying, okay, but… everything's different now!"_

Aria felt the tears begin to fill her eyes at her father's words. Of course that everything was different!

"_It was the same thing before, you were never home, always at work, maybe if you had been more present in the past, so maybe that_…" Aria heard her mother stop in the middle of her sentence, but she perfectly knew what she had been about to say.

"_Maybe that what? Are you making me responsible for what happened?" _Her father shouted at her mother.

A short silence took place during a few seconds before her father broke it._ "You know what? Don't even answer!"_

Then Aria who was still on the last step of the stairs heard the door slam and presumed that her father had left the house.

She couldn't believe that her mother had tried to put the blame on her father for what had happened, it wasn't his fault, it was nobody's fault, she was the only one to blame.

"And once again they're fighting about you!" Mike said behind her. She turned over and looked at her brother with her eyes glossy from unshed tears.

"Mike…"

"I do hope you realize that you have destroyed this family," Mike coldly said before entering his room, slamming the door behind him.

Aria stayed where she was, frozen by Mike's words as the tears started to fall down her cheeks. Hearing those words was horrible but he was right though, she had destroyed her family. It was her fault if her mother had started drinking, it was her fault if her parents were fighting, everything was her fault.

Suddenly, she couldn't stand being in the house, it was as if she couldn't even breath, she needed to get out and now. She slowly went downstairs and looked at her mother, who was now sitting at the kitchen table, drinking that Aria knew wasn't water. She didn't even notice when her daughter grabbed her red coat and left the house, carefully closing the door behind her.

It was already dark outside and the temperature wasn't high on this windy night of early November, but Aria didn't care, inside she was burning. She didn't even know the neighborhood yet so she just walked wherever her tiny legs could take her.

* * *

"She's staring at you!" Hardy said, pointing at a pretty girl sitting with two other girls, drinking cocktails. Ezra had joined Maggie and Hardy at a pub for the evening. They used to do that a lot even during the week; after all they were young and needed to have fun.

Ezra looked at the girl, who was laughing at a joke that one of her friends had made, and shook his head. "She's not!"

"Maybe not now, but she was a few seconds earlier, right Maggie?" Hardy turned to his girlfriend for confirmation.

The twenty-three year old woman nodded. "Sorry, Ez, I hate to say that, but Hardy is right."

"You should take your chance, she's hot!" Hardy pointed out causing Maggie to clear her throat.

"But not as much as you, sweetheart," Hardy told his girlfriend, smiling widely before giving her a peck on the lips.

Ezra shook his head. "No, I think I will pass."

Hardy sighed,waving his hands in the air. "Come on, Man, you can't stay single forever, you need to get over Jackie, I'm sure this bitch doesn't even remember your name!" Hardy said, too happy to have another chance to say what he thought about Ezra's ex.

"It's not because of Jackie, I'm over her!" Ezra replied. And it was true, it had been hard and maybe that a tiny part of him was still thinking about his ex fiancée but deep down, he knew that he was over her. However, he didn't feel himself ready for another relationship; he hadn't even looked at any girl since his break up with Jackie. _'Until the day before anyway!'_ Ezra told himself as he blushed with shame when he remembered his student's beautiful hazel eyes.

"I'm not ready for another relationship, that's all!" Ezra explained.

He then furrowed his brows when he noticed the glance that his two friends had shared: "What?"

"Ezra, you're unbelievable! I'm not telling you to get in a relationship right now, but you can have… you know… some fun!" Hardy said with a smirk.

Ezra rolled his eyes when he understood what his best friend was suggesting.

"Yes, Hardy's right, it could be good for you," Maggie agreed.

"See, she agrees, you…Wait!" Hardy stopped, widening one's eyes and looking at his girlfriend. "You agree with me? Unbelievable!" He said causing Maggie and Ezra to laugh.

"Maybe another time but not tonight," Ezra said.

Hardy sighed but complied. "Fine, as you want! I'm going to buy us some drinks," he said, leaving Maggie and Ezra alone by making his way toward the bar.

"Oh, I forgot to ask!" Maggie suddenly said. "How did it go with your new student? You know the one who comes from a psychiatric hospital?"

Ezra didn't even know why, but his heart beat faster when Maggie mentioned Aria. "Fine, it went fine."

Maggie smiled at him. "See, I told you so."

"You were right," Ezra confessed."You will think I'm a total fool, but I wasn't expecting her to be so …"

"Normal?" Maggie finished his sentence.

Ezra nodded in affirmation. "Yes, actually she is a little special, but in a good way, she's very smart!"

Maggie smiled warmly at him. "You seem to very like her already," the young woman said, noticing Ezra's enthusiasm while he was talking about his student.

Ezra couldn't help blushing again when Aria's eyes came back to his mind. It wasn't normal that he couldn't get her eyes out of his mind and that he felt so uncomfortable when he was talking about her. What was the matter with this girl?

"What are you, guys, talking about?" Hardy asked when he came back with drinks for the three of them.

"I was asking Ezra about his new student," Maggie replied taking her drink from her boyfriend's hands.

Hardy seemed thoughtful for a second before his eyes lighted up. "The mad girl?"

Annoyance rose inside Ezra as soon as the words fell from Hardy's lips. "Don't call her that," he told his friend. It didn't seem right to call Aria 'mad'; he knew that whatever had happened in her life, she wasn't mad. She sure had problems, but she wasn't mad.

"Oh, come on, you were the one who was afraid of her the other time!" Hardy retorted.

"I was a fool." Ezra said. "Don't call her that, that's all!"

Hardy and Maggie looked at each other, amazed by their friend's reaction.

"Easy Man, I'm sorry, okay," Hardy said.

Ezra looked at his two friends who were staring at him weirdly, Hardy visibly upset with him. He bit his lip, feeling stupid. What had bothered him so much? He knew this girl for what, two days? What did he even care?

"Hardy, I'm sorry." Ezra apologized.

He then glanced at the girl who was, according to Hardy, staring at him a few minutes earlier. It was a pretty girl, thin, tall with short black hair. "You know, I think you're right, I should have some fun!" He told Hardy.

The young teacher took a sip of his drink, building his courage, and got up from his seat under the astonished look of both Maggie and Hardy.

He walked up to the girl and her friends, and sat down in the seat beside her. Ezra wasn't the kind of guy who hit on girl in a bar but he had seen Hardy doing it a hundred times before he met Maggie. He gave the girl his more perfect boyish smile and spoke out loud. "Hey beautiful."

He saw the girl looking at her friends before she smiled to him. "Hey!" She said, biting her pink glossy lip.

"Can I buy you a drink?" He asked her.

The girl looked at her two friends who smiled to her, encouraging her to accept. "Sure."

Ezra smiled, happy with himself before ordering drinks for the two of them. They talked for a while and Ezra learnt that the girl's name was Samantha and that she was working as a nurse in a hospital.

As a silence started to settle between them, Ezra knew that it was time to make the next move. Should he invite her in his apartment?

But Samantha was quicker. "You know, my apartment is only a few minutes away from here," she paused and licked her lips. "Maybe you could come over?" She asked him, smiling shyly.

Ezra looked at her and nodded. "Sure." He replied causing a big smile to spread across Samantha's face.

"I need to drive my friends back first," she said, pointing at the two girls sitting beside her. "Give me your phone, I'm gonna write my address so you can join me." Samantha said. Ezra gave her his phone for her to enter her address.

Samantha then got up as well as her friends and leant to Ezra's ear to whisper something before leaving. "I will be waiting for you!" She seductively said causing Ezra to blush. He then got up to join Maggie and Hardy who hadn't stopped looking at him the whole time he had talked to Samantha.

"So?" Hardy asked impatiently when he saw his best friend coming back to him.

Ezra looked at him and smiled. "She gave me her address."

Hardy applauded. "Well done, man! I taught you well!" He said, causing Maggie to look daggers at him.

"I mean, not that I used to do that but…" He tried to explain to his girlfriend, aware of his blunder.

Maggie shook her head and interrupted him. "Oh come on, don't waste your time. You perfectly know that it's _exactly_ what you used to do! Right Ezra?" Maggie turned to Ezra.

Ezra didn't have any other choice than to nod in affirmation, giving an apologetic smile to his best friend.

"Thanks Man!" Hardy ironically said.

A few minutes later, Ezra put his coat on, ready to join Samantha.

"Have fun!" Hardy said, smirking. Ezra smiled shyly and left his two friends, making his way to the exit. He reached his car in the parking lot, and began to drive, following the address Samantha had given him.

He was driving for a few minutes when he suddenly spotted a person walking along the road. Which fool could be walking in the dark at this hour?

He slowed down a bit and something caught his eyes. As he was getting closer to the pedestrian he got a glimpse of the coat that the person was wearing. It was red. The person who was walking was wearing a red coat and Ezra knew that he had seen this coat no later than a few hours earlier. When he reached her, he slowed down to have a better look at her, there was no doubt, the small form, the long hair thigh up in a ponytail; it was her.

He pressed the button to open his glass and called out her name. "Aria!"

She stopped, astonished, and suspiciously narrowed her eyes at him before she recognized him.

" ?"

"Aria, what are you doing here?" Ezra asked her.

Aria got closer to his car in order to talk to him. "I went for a walk," she replied.

"It's late, you shouldn't be alone in the streets, it's dangerous." He couldn't even understand how her parents had let her go out alone in the night.

"Where do you live?"

"On the other side of the bridge," she replied. "Near the school."

Ezra's eyes widened in surprise. "What? But it's far away!"

"I know, I didn't realize I have been walking for so long," Aria replied.

"Get in the car; I'm going to bring you home." Ezra told her. There was no way he was going to let her in the streets, all by herself; it wouldn't be responsible.

But Aria shook her head in negation. "It's alright, I can walk!"

Ezra sighed in front of her stubbornness. "Look, I got it! You don't want any help, but it's just a ride, Aria. If we were in the afternoon, I wouldn't even insist, but it's late and, seriously, if I let you here in the middle of nowhere and that something happens to you, I would never forgive myself for that. Do you want me to feel guilty for the rest of my life?" He asked her with a smile.

Aria's ears perked up at Ezra's sentence. She knew what guilt could do and she didn't wish it to anybody, not even to her worst enemy. She bit her lip, hesitated a few seconds and finally gave up and got into Ezra's car.

* * *

**So, what do you think?**

**I know you all want to know what happened in Aria's life and you will know but you have to be a little bit patient ^^.**

**I would love to tell you now, but Aria is not ready lol. **

**Also, I'm sorry for any mistake.**

**Please review.**

** xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

_'The silent are often guilty'._

* * *

**Chapter four**

Ezra stopped his car at the red light and threw a glance at the young girl who was sitting next to him. None of them had said a word during the few minutes he had been driving, and the silence was starting to become heavy.

"So, are you used to walking alone in the dark?" He asked her.

Aria looked briefly at him and shook her head in negation. "No, not really, but I needed to clear my head."

He took a better look at her and noticed that her eyes were slightly red which brought him to the conclusion that she had probably cried.

"Is something wrong?" He asked her with concern.

She nervously rubbed her hands together and shook her head. "Nothing I want to talk about."

Ezra didn't insist; she visibly not wanted to talk about whatever was bothering her and it was her right, he knew that insisting would be a mistake.

"You can turn on the radio, if you want," he told her.

Aria was relieved when she saw that Ezra wasn't going to insist, telling someone about what was going on was the last thing she needed and wanted. She reached over and turned on the radio as a song of the Fray, B26 began to fill the car.

In spite of her bad mood, Aria couldn't repress a smile when she caught Ezra softly singing the words.

"What?" Ezra asked when he spotted the young girl staring at him and visibly trying to suppress a smile.

"Nothing," she said biting her lip to prevent herself from smiling.

"I like this song, that's all," Ezra defended himself as the light turned green.

"I can see that," Aria said unable to suppress her smile as a grin played across her face.

Ezra realized that it was the first time that he saw her smile, with a real smile and not a fake one that she would have sticked on her face to greet someone. She was really beautiful, not just her eyes but her whole face.

"Don't make fun of me," Ezra said with an offended tone of voice.

Aria laughed softly. "I'm not; I do love this song too!"

The rest of the ride was quiet, but without awkwardness, both of them listening to the radio in a comfortable silence.

"It's here," Aria suddenly said, pointing at a house. Ezra parked his car along the sidewalk right in front of his student's place. He felt a slight disappointment when he came to the realization that she was going to leave; for a reason he couldn't even identify, he wanted her to stay, he wanted to keep talking to her.

Aria undid her belt and turned toward him. "Thank you for the ride."

"You're welcome," Ezra replied as his eyes locked with hers. Against his will, his eyes traveled from her eyes to her pink lips and he wondered how it would feel to press his mouth against hers, to feel her tongue moving against his, to cup her face in his hands as he would massage her tongue with his. He was so close to her, he would just have to lean toward her a bit and his lips would be on hers; just a tiny bit.

Aria became aware of Ezra's eyes on her lips and a shiver ran through her body. Was he going to kiss her? She didn't want to, but she couldn't help begging for him to do it, she couldn't deny that it was what she wanted, she wanted him to kiss her, she wanted to feel his lips against hers.

As the sexual tension had reached its maximum Ezra suddenly realized which kind of inappropriate fantasies he was having over his student and awkwardly cleared his throat.

"I-I should go," Aria said, trying not to blush.

Ezra nodded. "Yes, your parents are probably worried."

"Good night, Mr. Fitz," Aria said, smiling before opening the door of the car.

"Good night Aria," Ezra replied.

He watched her until she entered her house and, once she had closed the door behind her, he rested his head on the wheel and sighed. He had been so close to kiss her, he knew that he could have done it, for a moment, the temptation had been so strong that he had thought that he was going to do it, and the worse was, that he almost wished that he had.

* * *

The following morning, Ezra woke up to the sound of his cell phone. He groaned and took it from his nightstand before pressing the green button when he saw Hardy's name on the screen.

"Hey!" Ezra sleepily greeted his friend.

"_So, tell me everything_!" Hardy immediately said. _"But hurry up before Maggie gets out of the shower!"_

Ezra furrowed his brows, not knowing what his best friend was talking about. "What are you talking about, Hardy?"

"_Come on; __don't play me for a fool! __How was it with Samantha?"_ Hardy insisted.

Samantha! Ezra couldn't believe that he had totally forgotten about her. As soon as he had seen Aria on the road, he hadn't even thought a single time of the girl he had met in the bar even if he had told her that he would join her at her apartment.

"Actually, I didn't go," Ezra told Hardy on the phone.

"_What do you mean you didn't go?"_ Hardy said in a surprised tone of voice.

Ezra sighed on the other side of the line. "I just bumped into someone and…"

"_Who on the earth can turn you away from a hot girl?"_ Hardy interrupted him.

"It was one of my students and…"

"_Wait!"_ Hardy interrupted him. _"You didn't see Samantha because of a student? Are you insane?_" Hardy got angry on the phone. Ezra sighed but didn't say anything, especially because he didn't know what to say; he didn't even understand himself.

"Look, Hardy, I need to get ready for work!" Ezra said even if he still had two hours before his first period.

"_Okay, but don't think that this conversation is over!"_ Hardy replied before hanging up.

When he arrived at school almost two hour later, Ezra took a cup of coffee from the coffee machine and couldn't repress a grimace when he took a sip of the horrible mixture. He glanced at Mrs. Welsh who had already drunk a whole cup and was having her second and wondered how the middle-aged woman had managed to stay alive. He threw his plastic cup into the thrash can as Ian Thomas entered the room. The E.P teacher immediately went to his younger colleague and flashed him a big smile.

"Hey, Z!"

Ezra clenched his teeth together at the sound of his old nickname; Ian had heard his ex-fiancée, Jackie, used it one time and ever since he thought that it was okay to call him like this.

"Ian." Ezra coldly replied.

"I saw the new student!" Ian said. "Anita or something like that."

"Aria, actually," Ezra corrected his colleague.

Ian shrugged. "Yeah, anyway." He then looked around him to make sure that nobody was listening to them. "Pretty hot," he whispered to Ezra.

Ezra couldn't help the flow of disgust which ran through him as soon as Ian's words fell from his lips.

"That's very inappropriate, Ian!" Ezra snapped at him.

"Oh, come on, don't be such a prude," Ian said, smirking. "Don't tell me that you're not finding her hot!" Ian challenged his colleague.

"She's a student!" Ezra coldly replied. "Now, I have to go, I have class!" He said, and left the teachers' room before Ian could add a word.

He couldn't explain to himself why he had been so upset by Ian's words, it wasn't as if he wasn't used to hearing Ian's salacious comments ,but when he had come to Aria, Ezra hadn't been able to control himself, just like he had lost his temper the day before when Hardy had called her mad! It was as if he was the only one to have the right to find her attractive. He shook his head as the word resounded in his head. It was the first time that he admitted to himself that he was attracted to her, and he suddenly felt really ashamed of his fantasizes over his young student. He needed to get her out of his mind. He was so ridiculous; the girl probably didn't even look at him and would be horrified if she could read his mind. Mr. Tamborelli had asked him to take care of a new student who visibly had big problems and the only thing he was doing was fantasizing over her. He wasn't better than Ian Thomas, and it was a lot to say!

* * *

The same day, after school, Aria exited her therapist's office and waited in the parking lot where her mother had to pick her up. It was one condition the doctors had established, she could leave the hospital and come back home, but she had to see a therapist twice a week. The woman, Dr. Sullivan had asked her how her first few days of school had gone and how she was feeling. They hadn't talked about anything related to her past or to what had happened, but she knew it would come and she dreaded this moment. The only thought that she would have to talk about it again, was unbearable.

"Aria?" A familiar voice suddenly pulled her out of her thoughts. She turned over and recognized Hanna, Spencer's friend.

She smiled softly to the blond girl. "Hey!"

"I was shopping and I saw you, you're coming from Dr. Sullivan's office, aren't you?" Hanna asked her. Aria swallowed hard and tried to find an excuse, she didn't want Hanna to know that she was seeing a therapist; she knew it was the beginning of a lot of questions that she didn't want to answer.

"I…no..I," Aria shuttered awkwardly.

Hanna looked at Aria and gave her a small smile. "Don't be embarrassed with me, you know I saw her a lot last year, she really helped me." Hanna explained. "Bulimia; if you want to know," she confessed.

Aria was impressed to see the young girl talking about her disease so naturally and smiled to her. "I'm sorry, Hanna, I didn't know."

"Oh, don't worry, I'm better now, thanks to Dr. Sullivan, she's amazing," Hanna said.

Aria nodded, remembering how kind the therapist had been to her. "Yes, she seems really nice,"

"She is! You will see, I'm sure she will help you a lot whatever you're seeing her for."

Aria was so grateful to Hanna for not asking her why she was meeting with Dr. Sullivan; if there was one thing she couldn't stand in someone it was indiscretion. However, she perfectly knew that no matter how competent and nice Dr. Sullivan was, she would never be able to help her, nobody could, ever.

"So, I have go," Hanna said after looking at her watch. "Did you come here with your car?"

Aria shook her head. "No, I'm not driving."

"Do you need a ride then?" Hanna asked her.

Aria shook her head in negation once again and refused Hanna's offer. "No, thank you, Hanna, but my mother should be here soon."

"Okay, so I see you in school," Hanna said before making her way to her car.

After Hanna's leaving, Aria waited for her mother and, as the minutes passed, she started wondering why her mother wasn't here yet. She removed her phone from her school bag and tried to call her but her mother didn't pick up. After thirty minutes and considering that her mother had probably forgotten and wouldn't come, she sighed and left the parking lot.

She was walking for about ten minutes when she saw Mr. Fitz passing in front of her in his car; he looked at her but didn't even stopped and kept driving. She couldn't help the disappointment which ran through her at this moment but suddenly she saw him park his car in front of the building a few meters above her. He got out of his car and waved at her, giving her a small smile.

"Let me guess, you need to clear your head?" He said when she reached him, referring to to what she had told him the previous night.

Aria smiled and shook her head in negation. "No, I had to see someone in the neighborhood, my mother had to pick me up but she didn't show up."

"Are you leaving here?" She asked her teacher by pointing at the building.

Ezra nodded. "Yes, that's where I live, but don't tell anybody, I wouldn't like to see a troop of girls from school in front of my building!"

Aria smiled as she remembered what Spencer had told her about the girls who had screwed up their tests on purpose in order to spend time with him; it wasn't hard to picture these same girls waiting in front of their teacher's apartment. "Don't worry; your secret is safe with me!"

Ezra looked at her and bit his lip, he didn't know if asking her what he wanted to ask her was a good idea, he wasn't supposed to do it but he didn't resist the urge.

"Do you want to come in a little while? Maybe your mother is just very late and will come soon, you can wait for her in here if you want?" He asked Aria. As Aria seemed to think about it, he wasn't sure if he wanted her to accept, he wasn't supposed to invite students in his apartment but after all, it was not a big deal, he was only offering a student to wait for her mother in his apartment instead of in the street.

"Okay," Aria accepted.

"After you," Ezra told her, holding the door of the building to let her come in. Both of them entered the building and Ezra led her up to his apartment. He took his keys out of his pocket and opened the door, letting her penetrate in the apartment 3B.

Aria looked around her, letting her eyes run all over the tiny but homey apartment.

Ezra mentally cursed himself when he noticed the mess, if he had known that he would have a visitor, especially this _visitor_ he would, for sure, have washed the dirty dishes which was still in the sink. But the young girl didn't seem to pay attention to the kitchen, her eyes focused on Ezra's huge bookshelf which was taking a whole side of the wall.

"Impressive," Aria said in admiration in front of the many books which were lying on the bookshelf.

Ezra smiled, happy to see that Aria had found something good to say about his tiny and messy apartment. "Yes, well, I guess I love reading."

"Really? So weird for an English teacher!" Aria teasingly said, causing Ezra to smile.

"Do you want something to drink? I have some juice or I can make you a hot chocolate or a coffee if you want?" Ezra offered.

"A hot chocolate would be perfect," Aria replied.

As Ezra walked to the tiny place which was considered as a kitchen and started making the hot chocolate, Aria checked her phone to see if her mother had called her back but nothing.

"Still no news from your mother?" Ezra asked her when he noticed the young girl looking at her phone.

Aria shook her head in negation. "No. She must have been retained somewhere and doesn't have her phone with her, I guess."

But deep down, Aria couldn't help but worry a little, her mother was never late or when she was, she at least called.

"And, _voilà_!" Ezra said, putting a smoking cup on the little table in front of the couch.

Aria sat on the couch, crossing her legs before taking the cup in her hands. "Thank you," she said as Ezra sat next to her, a cup of coffee in his hands.

"So, what do you think of the school?" Ezra asked her while Aria was blowing on her drink, waiting for it to cool.

"Well, it's fine, people are nice," Aria said thinking of Spencer and Hanna.

"What about the teachers?" Ezra asked her with a smirk.

Aria smiled as well and shrugged. "They're okay."

Ezra raised an eyebrow. "Just okay? I heard that the English teacher was brilliant!" He teased.

"Hum, you shouldn't listen to the rumors, he is not that good," Aria retorted, smiling, causing Ezra to laugh softly. He was glad that she felt comfortable enough around him to tease him.

All of a sudden, a ginger cat came from nowhere and jumped on the couch, straight on Aria who managed, just in time, to put her cup down, preventing the hot liquid from falling on her clothes.

"Hemingway!" Ezra snapped at the cat. "Sorry, this is my cat, he…" Ezra started to say but stopped when he saw a big smile spread across Aria's face.

"What?" He asked her, furrowing his brows.

Aria looked at him, smiling. "You named your cat Hemingway?" She said, gently petting the cat, not believing that someone could call his cat after the famous author.

"Hemingway was great, everybody should be proud to have this name," Ezra replied.

As Aria bit her lip, a teasing smile on her face, Ezra complied. "Okay, you're right, it sucks, but I call him Hem almost all the time anyway!"

Aria shook her head, still smiling and took her cup back between her hands. Digging the tip of her tongue into the hot chocolate to make sure she wasn't going to burn herself, she then took a sip of the hot drink, savoring the sugared mixing.

"That's good," she said putting her cup back on the table.

But Ezra didn't even hear her; he was too focused on her lips where a trace of chocolate had been left. At this moment,the only thing he wanted was to press his mouth against hers.

Aria became aware of Ezra's look on her lips and slowly brushed her tongue over her lips to clean them, which only caused Ezra's desire of kissing her to get stronger. He couldn't take his eyes away from her lips; he wanted to kiss her so badly. How was it even possible to want to kiss someone like that? He turned his head, trying to control himself and cleared his throat awkwardly.

"I'm going to put that in the sink," he said pointing at his empty cup of coffee. She nodded and he got up from the couch, walking to the sink.

Aria quickly finished her own cup of chocolate, got up and followed him. Ezra put his empty cup of coffee into the sink at the same time as Aria, causing their hands to brush against each other's.

Goosebumps run down Ezra's body at this tiny contact causing him to swallow hard. They then looked up at each other; Ezra dive his look into her big hazel eyes, both keeping silent, and suddenly Ezra couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't stay here without touching her while every part of his body was telling him to kiss her. Before he was plenty aware of what he was doing, he gently pressed Aria against the wall of his kitchen, took her face in his hands and pressed his mouth on hers.

Aria was shocked at first when she felt her English teacher's lips against hers but soon she began to return his kiss, moving her lips rhythmically with his.

As Ezra was about to pull away, realizing what he was doing, she was the one to brush her tongue over his bottom lip, asking for entrance. Ezra gladly opened his mouth a little wider to allow her entry. Their tongues began to caress each other as she moaned against his mouth.

As his hands snaked along her body, massaging her sides while his tongue was battling for dominance with his student's, Ezra had to admit that it was what he had wanted since the second she had stepped into his class. Her lips had a taste of cherry lipstick mixed with the chocolate she had just drunk, which perfectly matched together.

Aria wrapped her arms around Ezra's neck, pressing her skinny body flushed against her teacher's as they continued to ravish each other's mouths. Ezra suddenly gave up Aria's mouth to let his lips running along her neck causing soft moans to escape her mouth. Her hands tangled in his black curly hair as Ezra placed open-mouthed kisses all along the side of her neck making her groan. Ezra was about to come back to her mouth when Aria's phone rang, a music filling the apartment. They both jumped apart, breathless and confused. Aria hurried to grab her phone which was still ringing and took the call.

"Yes?" She said on the phone, hoping that whoever was on the other side couldn't hear how breathless she was.

"_Aria, it's me_," her father's voice answered. "_Where are you? Are you still waiting for your mother?_"

Aria looked at Ezra who was watching her. "No, I mean yes, but I started walking a bit."

"_Okay, I'm coming to pick you up, your mother can't_," Her father told her on the other side of the phone. "_I should be here in fifteen minutes_." He added.

"Okay, I'm waiting for you," she told him before hanging up.

"I have to go," Aria told Ezra. "My father is on his way to pick me up."

Ezra wanted to say something but nothing crossed his mind, he was still shocked by the kiss they had shared.

Aria grabbed her bag and hurried to the door, afraid that her father comes sooner than he had said.

"Okay, so I see you in school," Ezra finally said.

"Yes, sure," Aria said, stopping in front of the door. They stared at each other, both visibly uncomfortable, not knowing what to do nor say. Aria hesitated a few seconds and then took a step toward Ezra and gave him a peck on his cheeks before opening the door and leaving his apartment.

After Aria's leaving, Ezra stayed in front of his door, without doing anything. He wanted to tell himself that he couldn't believe what had just happened, but, deep down, he knew that since he had first seen her he had known that he was going to kiss her one day or another. But he couldn't help wondering what would have happened if Aria's phone hadn't rung. He didn't know, but if there was something he was sure of, it was that he wouldn't have been the one to stop.

* * *

Aria exited Ezra's apartment and walked a little bit further, not wanting her father to know where she was coming from even if he had no idea where Ezra lived nor even who he was.

A few seconds later her father's car parked along the sidewalk and she settled herself beside him on the passenger's seat.

"I hope you didn't wait too long," her father told her, starting his car.

"It's okay, I walked a bit. But where is Mom?" She asked her father, curious as to the reason which had prevented her mother from picking her up.

Her father seemed bothered by her question and she noticed that he was hesitating to reply. "She's at home, she's not feeling well."

Aria furrowed her brows, wondering why her mother hadn't phoned her to inform her of her bad shape.

"How was your session with Dr. Sullivan?" her father asked her before Aria could ask one more question.

"It was fine," Aria said, not really wanting to talk about that, but fortunately, her father just nodded and kept silence for the rest of the way home.

When she entered her house, everything was calm and there was no sight of her mother.

"Is mom in bed?" Aria asked her father.

"Yes, as I said she wasn't feeling well at all when I came back from work," he answered her.

"I'm going to see if she needs anything," Aria said, taking a step toward the stairs.

"I don't think that it's a good idea, Aria," her father stopped her. "She's probably asleep."

"I won't make noise so if she's asleep I won't wake her up," Aria prompted.

Her father shook his head and looked at her with insistence. "Aria, please, just…let her sleep," he insisted.

There was something weird in his tone, something strange in the way he was looking at her, almost begging her not to going to see her mother. Suddenly, Aria's look caught the empty bottle of wine, lying beside the couch and all of a sudden everything became clear. If her mother hadn't come to pick her up it wasn't because she was sick but because she was drunk. It was the reason why her father didn't want her to see her; he didn't want his daughter to see her mother totally drunk. Her father followed her look and sadly looked at his daughter whose eyes had filled with tears.

"Aria…"

She didn't let him say anything. "It's okay, I won't bother her. I'm going to my room," she said before making her way upstairs, biting hard on her lip to prevent the tears from falling down her face.

She reached her room, dropped her bag on her desk chair and let herself fall onto her bed without bothering of getting her shoes off.

What had she done to her mother? She was a cheerful and happy person before what had happened, and now she forgot her daughter because she had passed out on the couch. She would have given anything to go back to the past, to the time when she was a happy teenage girl, when her whole family was happy, the time when her brother didn't hate her, when her father wasn't trying to avoid her and when her mother could live without a bottle of wine.

She closed her eyes trying to remember how it felt, how it was to be the girl she used to be. But she didn't remember anything from her past; instead, the only thing which came to her mind was the kiss she had shared with Ezra Fitz. When they had kissed, she understood it now, she had felt like she hadn't felt in a very long time, she had felt like she was before, before her life turned into a nightmare, she had felt alive, or, at least, as alive as she could feel after what had shattered her life forever.

* * *

**So, what do you think?**

**Thank you so much to those who reviewed the previous chapter. **

**Also, I haven't gotten so many reviews on chapter three compared to the first ones, I'm not complaining at all because this story has already many reviews for only three chapters, but I was scared that you didn't like this previous chapter, so please review this one so I can know if you like it or not.**

**Also _Rosewood girl 317_, about your question, I can't say anything yet, sorry, but thank you for your review.**

**As usual, I'm sorry for any mistake.**

**xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

****** Thank you so much for all your reviews, guys, and I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas.**

* * *

**Chapter five**

Aria slowly got downstairs, the following morning, and stopped on the last step when she heard voices coming from the kitchen.

"_Did you tell the kids?"_ Her mother asked with a nervous tone of voice.

"_Of course not, Ella." _Her father answered._ " I told them you weren't feeling well_."

A silence took place for a few minutes during which Aria only heard the noise that the coffeemaker was making before her mother spoke again. _"Thank you."_

"_You're welcome, but you're aware that you can't keep going on like this, right_? She heard her father ask._ "You know what alcohol can do!"_ He added.

"_Of course! But don't worry, it's going to be okay, I'm just stressed with the moving out and everything, that's all." _Her mother told her father_. "It won't happen again, Byron, I promise."_

"_If you say so," _her father softly said.

But Aria could tell that he didn't believe her mother's promise and neither did she. She then heard her father taking his keys and telling goodbye to her mother before leaving the house.

When she heard the door slam, she moved and entered the kitchen where her mother was sitting at the table, in front of a cup of coffee. She didn't seem really well and was massaging her temples in an attempt to dissipate the habitual headache which results from an alcohol abuse.

Her mother immediately looked up at her and forced a smile. "'morning, sweetie."

"Good morning, Mom," Aria replied, seeking into the cupboard for the cereals box.

"I'm sorry for yesterday, I wasn't feeling well," her mother apologized.

Once Aria had gotten what she was looking for, she turned over and met her mother's look. They stared at each other for a few seconds before the older woman turned her look away from her daughter as a slight blush of red colored her cheeks. Nothing needed to be said, she was aware that Aria knew the real reason why she hadn't come to pick her up.

"How was your session with Dr. Sullivan?" Her mother asked, shattering the silence which had been filling the kitchen.

"It was fine." Aria gave the same answer than she had given to her father while filling her glass with fresh milk.

"Your doctors told me she was one of the best, you know."

"Yes, she's nice," Aria said before taking a sip of milk.

Her mother smiled. "I'm sure she will help you a lot."

Aria put her glass down onto the table and sighed. "Mom, stop."

Her mother gave her a questioning look. "Stop what?"

"You know that she won't help me!" Aria sternly said. "She might be great and I will keep seeing her because it's what the doctors want me to do, but she won't help me, not because she's not competent but because she can't help me with _this,_ nobody can and you know that!"

"Aria, please…" her mother argued.

"I should go to school if I don't want to be late." Aria cut her off, even if she still had one hour to kill before her first period. "See you tonight, Mom," she said, before taking her bag and making her way to the door.

After her daughter's leaving, Ella stayed at the table, staring at her cup of coffee as the headache kept torturing her. She suddenly got up from her chair, took her cup and threw the liquid into the sink. Then, she rose herself on tiptoes to reach the highest cupboard and took the last wine bottle that had been left. She opened it and filled her glass with the red alcohol. As she was about to drink it, she suddenly stopped, remembering the promise she had just made to her husband. But it was just a drink, she would not end up drunk this time, she just needed it, she needed to make the headache go away.

Then, convincing herself that it was the last one, she brought the drink to her lips.

* * *

Ezra groaned when Hemingway started to meow louder.

"Shut up!" He snapped at him, burying his head under the pillow. "I don't have any class to teach before eleven, so please, let me sleep, you stupid cat!"

But the ginger cat, deaf to his owner's supplications kept letting out piercing meows.

When Ezra came to the realization that his cat wasn't going to stop until he gets what he wanted he complied. "FINE! I'm getting up!"

He angrily pushed the covers away from his body and got up from his bed as Hemingway immediately rushed to his empty dish.

"I should have let you in the street instead of taking pity of you and bringing you home!" Ezra told his cat, remembering the day, two years ago, when he had found the little kitten, trying to feed himself in the garbage.

As the ginger cat looked at him with big imploring eyes, Ezra sighed. "Oh, don't look at me like this, you know I don't mean it!"

He opened the dry food cat bag and put a generous handful in Hemingway's bowl. He then poured himself a cup of black coffee and sat at his table, watching his cat voraciously eating his meal.

He had had a bad night, a very bad one. He had kept thinking of what had happened with Aria over and over again. In a way, he was feeling guilty for kissing his student but, in the other hand, he couldn't stop thinking of their kiss and how he wished it had gone further. He knew that if Aria's father hadn't called, he would have made love to her, he wouldn't have been able to stop. He suddenly shook his head, angry with himself for wishing he had had sex with a seventeen year old girl.

The morning went by very quickly; he corrected some of his students' tests and prepared his next lessons and, thanks to Hemingway, he even had time to do some housework before going to work.

After his first lesson of the day with his freshmen students, it was already time to have lunch so he made his way to the cafeteria. He suddenly couldn't help but be nervous when he realized that, after lunch, he would see Aria. He didn't know how he was going to react and what he was going to say to her.

As he was about to enter the cafeteria, one of his colleague stopped him.

"Ezra!" Mrs. Welsh called out, walking at a fast pace to join her young colleague. Ezra liked the older woman very much; she had always been really kind to him since he had started his job here, and had really helped him to integrate himself to the school.

"Danielle," Ezra greeted her with a big smile.

"Ezra, do you remember my daughter Simone?" Danielle Welch asked him while the two of them entered the cafeteria and started filling their plate with the chicken which was served this day.

Ezra nodded in affirmation. "Yes, of course."

Danielle talked a lot about her daughter; Ezra knew that she was studying in Europe for three years and that Danielle was very proud of her and missed her very much.

"Well, she's coming next week!" Danielle said as a big smile spread across her face.

"That's great!" He told his colleague with enthusiasm as they made their way to the table reserved for the teachers. They sat down and Ezra let his eyes run among the tables where a lot of teenagers were having lunch. After a few seconds, he spotted Aria who was sitting at one of the table; she was alone and didn't seem to eat anything, instead, she was pushing her food with her fork, staring vacantly into space. Once again, Ezra noticed how sad she seemed, it was as if there wasn't any life in her, as if she was here without being here.

"Ezra?" Mrs. Welch said, pulling him out of his thoughts. "Are you listening to me?"

Ezra quickly turned his look away from Aria and looked at his colleague. "Oh, yes, sorry."

"I was telling you that I'm having a dinner on next Friday to welcome her and I would like you to come. I'm sure the two of you will get along well," Mrs. Welch told Ezra.

Ezra hesitated a few seconds, he wasn't naïve and he knew that his colleague secretly hoped that her daughter and he could do more than get along well.

"I don't know," Ezra said. "I don't want to impose myself at a family dinner."

Mrs. Welsh shook her head. "Don't be stupid Ezra, I wouldn't ask you if it bothered me. We will all be glad to have you, please."

Ezra couldn't refuse anything to the older woman so he complied. "Okay, I will come."

After lunch, Ezra and Mrs. Welch left each other and they both walked to their respective classrooms. The nervousness which hadn't quitted Ezra since he had entered the school intensified when the students started to step into his class. When Aria did arrive, she passed in front of him and looked at him for a second before going straight to her seat, beside Spencer Hastings. Ezra kept staring at her for a few seconds but Aria didn't look up and he didn't have any other choice but to start his lesson.

The hour seemed long to Ezra, he had problems focusing on his work and his look went on Aria many times so it was, of course, with a huge relief that he welcomed the end of the lesson when the bell rang.

"Aria, can I see you for a second?" Ezra asked as Aria was getting up from her seat. He didn't know what he was going to say but he knew that he had to do something; he couldn't just ignore what had happened between them. Aria nodded and stood in front of his desk, waiting for everybody to exit the classroom.

"How are you?" Ezra asked Aria once the last student had exited the room.

"I'm fine," Aria replied.

He then looked at her, not sure what to say as an awkward silence filled the room, making the both of them uncomfortable.

"Look, Aria, about what happened yesterday…" Ezra hesitantly started. "It was…"

"A mistake!" Aria cut him off before he could add anything.

She knew that it was exactly what he would have said if she hadn't interrupted him**, **so she had preferred saying it before him. She didn't want to hear him say that it was a mistake, that he was her teacher and that it was wrong. She had enough things to worry and stress about without adding a stupid kiss with her teacher on top of that and, after all, no matter how nice their kiss had been, it was nothing else than a kiss and it would not happen again.

Ezra couldn't help the disappointment which ran through him as soon as the word fell from Aria's mouth. It was what he had been on the point to say though, but he had secretly wanted her to try to contradict him. What a fool he was! Of course it was a mistake and he couldn't believe that a seventeen teenage girl was more mature than he was.

He looked at her and nodded. "Yes, you're right."

"So, do we still have a tutoring session tomorrow?" She asked him.

"Of course." Ezra replied. "_The catcher in the rye_, this time?"

"Yes, that would be perfect," Aria replied.

Ezra looked at her for a few seconds before saying. "So, I see you tomorrow, Aria."

Aria nodded. "Yes, goodbye Mr. Fitz." She said, before exiting the classroom.

Ezra watched her as she left his classroom, her long curly hair moving rhythmically with every move of her hips.

He was relieved that everything was clear between them and that there was no ambiguity. Ezra knew that it would not happen again, this kiss was a terrible mistake, he should have been more responsible. But he also knew that he would have to keep control on himself and that it would not be easy, because, if there was something he was sure of, it was that, for a reason he didn't even know, he was very attracted to this girl.

* * *

**A few days later**

Aria looked up from the book she was reading when she heard roars of laughter next to her. She was sitting on a bench, in a park not far away from her house. The weather was pretty cold on this November afternoon but she was enjoying being outside her house.

At home, things weren't really getting better. Her brother didn't even talk to her, and her parents barely spoke to each other, her father always watching her mother to make sure that she wasn't drinking too much which caused some fights between them.

She looked in the direction where the laughers were coming from, and spotted a group of teenagers from her school, laughing and cheerfully talking together. A wave of nostalgia hit her as she watched the kids having fun together. She used to be like them. Saturday was her favorite day of the week, she would go shopping and spend her evening at Rosewood grill or even she would go to a party that some guys from her school were having. But it was before, before everything changed.

"Hey, Aria!" A familiar voice pulled her out of her nostalgic thoughts. She looked up and saw Spencer, Hanna and Emily, a friend of Hanna and Spencer that they had introduced to her a few days ago.

She gave a warm smile to the girls and greeted them. "Hey!"

"What are you doing?" Emily asked her.

"Oh nothing, I'm just reading."

"Can we sit with you for a little while?" Hanna asked her.

Aria nodded in affirmation and moved a bit to make room for the girls. "Sure."

"So, Aria, you have never told us, where do you come from?" Spencer asked Aria who immediately felt nervous. She didn't want to talk about anything related to her past, but she was aware that it was a normal and legitimate question and if she gave them the answer they were looking for, they would stop asking questions hopefully.

"I'm coming from a small town in Pennsylvania," she said, staying vague on the details.

'_The less they know, the better it is!'_

"It must be difficult to move on in the middle of the year," Emily pointed out.

Aria shrugged. "Yes, but it's okay."

"You must miss your friends." Hanna added.

As soon as the words fell from the blond girl's lips, Aria's heart thumped against her rib-cage as she got paler.

Hanna furrowed her brows when she noticed the young girl's pale face. "Aria, are you alright?" She asked her with concern.

Aria nodded, mentally snapping herself for her reaction. She needed to control herself, it was just a question, she didn't have to overreact like that.

"Oh, God, not him!" Spencer suddenly said, looking at a man on the other side of the road. Aria identified him as her P.E. Teacher, Mr. Thomas, she had met him just one time but the only thing she could say, was that she hadn't liked at all the way he had looked at her.

"Shit, even on the weekend we have to see this pervert!" Hanna complained, making a face of disgust.

"At least you don't have to see him every morning at your breakfast table!" Spencer said.

Aria scowled at Spencer, astonished. "What?"

"He is Spencer's sister's fiancé." Hanna explained to her.

"Wow." Aria let out.

"Yeah, in a few months he would be my brother in law! What a lucky girl I am, right?" Spencer said, rolling her eyes.

"I don't understand why your sister wants to marry such a pig!" Emily said, shaking her head.

"Is he that bad?" Aria asked.

Hanna let out a chuckle. "Oh yes he is. Let's say that it's not the kind of man you want to be alone in a room with!"

"Fortunately all the teachers aren't that bad!" Spencer suddenly said, nudging Hanna in the ribs, looking at someone on the other side of the road. Aria looked at the direction Spencer, Hanna and now Emily were looking at, a smirk playing on their lips, and her heart immediately beat faster when she recognized Ezra Fitz, riding a bike.

Spencer cup her hands around her mouth and called out. "Hello Mr. Fitz!"

Aria saw Ezra looking at them and waving when he spotted them. She gave him a small smile as their eyes locked for a second.

"Oh boy! His legs!" Hanna breathed out, biting her bottom lip.

"I agree," Emily said.

Spencer and Hanna turned to her, furrowing their brows. "Since when do you like boys?"

Emily giggled. "I don't, but it doesn't mean I can judge on a boy and tell if he is sexy or not!"

Aria couldn't help but feel uncomfortable, it was awkward to hear the girls speaking of Ezra and calling him 'sexy' after what had happened between them.

"I should probably go, "she suddenly said.

"Oh, no, stay!" Hanna stopped her. "The girls and I had planned to go bowling and have dinner together, you should come with us."

Aria shook her head in negation. "No, I'm sorry but…"

"Oh, please, Aria, it would be nice, please come!" Hanna begged her.

Aria looked at the blond girl and bit her lip. She didn't want to make friend, she couldn't, but it was just one time, maybe she could say yes, just for this time.

"Okay," Aria accepted causing the three girls to smile.

* * *

Ezra went to his bathroom and grabbed a towel to clean up the sweat which was running down the nape of his neck due to his long bike ride. As he was passing in front of the park where the teenagers used to meet, he had seen Aria with three other of his students. He couldn't believe that he had to see her everywhere; it was as if he couldn't go somewhere without bumping into her. Since their last conversation, almost one week ago, he had had some tutoring sessions with her. Everything had gone well, it wasn't awkward at all, Aria didn't seem bothered and neither did he, but he hadn't been able to stop looking at her or to prevent his heart from beating faster every time they were a little bit too close to each other. But Ezra was confident, he was attracted to her but he could keep control, he knew that he would not let something happen between them, not anymore, and hopefully, his attraction would go away, after all, she wasn't the only pretty girl with beautiful eyes on the earth.

A few days ago, the principal had asked him if everything was alright with Aria, he had told him that he didn't have any problem with her, except that she didn't seem to make friends. However, even if Aria hadn't done anything wrong or hadn't had any problem, he had noticed the sad look she always had on her face. Even when she was smiling, there was something sad in her big hazel eyes, something empty, something dead.

Ezra looked at his watch and rushed to his bedroom to choose the clothes he was going to wear for the dinner at Danielle Welch's house. He opted for a white shirt and a black suit, put the clothes on his bed and came back to the bathroom to take a shower.

"So, what do you think?" Ezra asked Hemingway as he was adjusting his tie a few minutes later.

The cat, who was lying on the couch, looked at his owner and yawned before turning his back to him and going back to sleep.

Ezra rolled his eyes and looked at himself in the mirror. "I don't even know why I'm asking you that! Well, let's say it's not too bad!"

Ezra then grabbed his keys and left his apartment, making his way to Mrs. Welch's place. Fifteen minutes later, he reached her house; readjusted his suit and knocked on the door.

"Ezra!" Mrs. Welch greeted him cheerfully before giving him a hug.

The older woman stepped to the side, allowing him entry. "Please, come in."

Ezra penetrated into the house and was welcomed by a delicious stew smell which filled his nostrils. He had never been in his colleague's house before, but it was a homey and cozy place which fit Mrs. Welch perfectly. He followed his host up to the living room where a few people were talking. They got up when they saw him, and Mrs. Welch's husband gave him a handshake.

"Thanks for inviting me, Mr. Welch." Ezra thanked the older man.

"Oh come on, you can call me John!"

"Ezra, this is my son Edward and his fiancée, Rachel." Mrs. Welch said, pointing at a man a little bit older than Ezra who had his arm wrapped around a pregnant woman.

The girl gave Ezra a warm smile as her fiancé shook Ezra's hand. "Nice too meet you."

"You too," Ezra replied smiling as well.

"Ah, there she is!" Mr. Welch suddenly said as a girl entering the living room.

"Ezra, I would like you to meet my daughter, Simone." Mrs. Welch excitedly said.

Simone smiled at Ezra who did the same by looking at her. She was a very beautiful girl, thin, tall with long blond straight hair.

"Nice to meet you, Simone," Ezra greeted her with a warm smile.

After some talking, they took place around the table, Mrs. Welch wanting Ezra to sit beside her daughter.

"So, Mom, is everything okay at school?" Simone asked her mother as they were finishing the starter.

"Yes, actually we have a new student, it's a pretty difficult situation, she has spent months in a psychiatric hospital." Mrs. Welch said before turning toward Ezra. "Ezra, I think you have her in your class, right?" She asked him.

He immediately felt nervous at the mention of Aria. He smiled briefly and nodded in affirmation. "Yes, that's right."

"And how is it going with her?" Mrs. Welch questioned him.

"Fine," Ezra said.

"Why was she in the hospital?" Simone asked.

Her mother shook her head and shrugged. "We don't know, Mr. Tamborelli doesn't want to tell us anything."

Ezra was starting to feel uncomfortable; he wanted the conversation to stop, it didn't sound right to him to discuss Aria's personal life. As if God had heard his praying, the timer rang, announcing that the stew was ready to be served.

The rest of the dinner went well, nobody spoke of Aria again and Ezra even had a good time. Simone and he got along pretty well, laughing and talking to Mrs. Welch's delight.

"Thank you so much for tonight," Ezra told his colleague and her husband as he was on the point to leave.

"Oh, you're welcome it was a pleasure." Mrs. Welch said before turning toward her daughter. "Simone, honey, why don't you take Ezra back to his car?"

Simone softly smiled to Ezra and nodded. "Sure."

The two of them exited the house and walked toward Ezra's car which was parked a few meters away.

"I spent a great evening." Simone told Ezra, smiling shyly.

"So did I ," Ezra replied. They smiled at each other and Ezra looked at her. She was really pretty; she had beautiful green eyes, not as pretty as… Ezra mentally snapped himself when Aria's eyes came to his mind. He needed to stop; he could not think about her. He tried his best to focus on the pretty woman who was standing in front of him and smiled.

"Would you…" Simone hesitantly began. "Would you like seeing me again? I don't know, we could go somewhere to get to know each other better. But only if you want." Simone asked him, wavering slightly.

"I would like it very much." Ezra told her.

Simone let out a sigh of relief and smiled. "I'm going to give you my number." Ezra gave her his phone and she entered her number in his phonebook.

"Thank you." Ezra said. "I will call you." Then he leant toward her and gave her a peck on the cheek before getting into his car.

When he came back to his place, he pulled off his suit and rolled on a comfortable T-Shirt before sitting on his couch, throwing a glance at Hemingway who was sleeping on the bed.

The night events came back to his mind. Simone seemed great; he liked her but he wondered if he had done the right thing by telling her that he would call her. Yes, he definitively did! Hardy was right, he couldn't stay single for the rest of his life, and hitting on a stranger in a bar was definitively not his thing. With Simone it was different, it could be good for him and he was sure that his colleague's daughter could help him to get Aria out of his mind. His attraction to the seventeen years old girl was nothing more than a whim, he had been a little lost in his sentimental life since his break-up with Jackie but it was going to change, he would put himself together.

Just as he was thinking about his future, deciding to put himself together and stop having inappropriate fantasizes over his student, someone knocked at the door, shattering the silence. Ezra looked at his watch and furrowed his brows when he noticed the late hour.

He opened the door and the surprise flashed across his face when he noticed the person who was standing in front of him.

"Aria?"

* * *

**So, I know, it's not nice to leave you with a cliffhanger but**** I will make it up to you with the next chapter which is one of my favorites.**

**The next chapter is already written but I still need to proofread, so let's say that if I get 20 reviews or more I will hurry up and update in two days (on Friday).**

**Thanks for reading and I'm sorry for any mistake.**

**xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you so much for all your amazing reviews, it's really motivating, you are all so sweet.**

**As promised, it's Friday so there is chapter six.**

**The beginning of this chapter takes place a few hours earlier than the end of the previous one.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter six**

"That was great tonight, thank you for joining us!" Hanna said as she parked her car in front of Aria's house.

Aria smiled at the three girls. "Thanks for inviting me, girls!"

"See you at school!" Emily said as Aria exited Hanna's car and made her way toward her house.

She had had a really good time. The girls and she had gone to bowling and, after that, Hanna had insisted on having dinner in a little Italian restaurant where they had eaten delicious pizzas.

She slowly opened the door, not wanting to wake her parents up if they were already sleeping.

She had called her mother in the evening to tell her that she was going out with some girls from her school. Her mother had been extremely happy, but Aria didn't want her to think that she had changed her minds and decided to make friends. She had had a great time, but she didn't want to have real friends, she just couldn't.

When she entered the house, the strong voice of her father resounded. "_What the hell were you thinking?"_

She stopped, alarmed by her father's tone, before rushing toward the living-room where the voice was coming from. Her whole family was here; her brother was sitting on the sofa, beside her mother, who had her head between her hands, as her father was standing in front of his brother, anger all over his face.

"What's going on?" Aria asked, alarmed.

Her father looked at her before pointing at her brother. "Your brother has been arrested tonight. He broke into a house with some other hooligans!" He snapped.

Aria looked at her brother, amazed, not believing that he had done such a thing. She was aware that Mike was having a hard time, but he was a good kid, she knew this.

"Don't call them that, they're my new friends!" Mike retorted.

"Your friends?" Her father chuckled. "Don't be stupid Mike; they let you take all the blame. You won't see them again, do you hear me?" Byron shouted at his son.

Mike got up from the couch and stood in front of his father. "You don't have the right to tell me who I can see or not!"

"I have all the rights, you're only fifteen!" Byron snapped, revolting by his son's behavior. "From now on, you're grounded, you will go to school and come back home as soon as it's over! Did I make myself clear?"

Aria saw the anger cross her brother's face. "That's not fair! I have never done anything wrong, and when I do just one stupid little thing you immediately treat me like a criminal, but her," Mike said pointing at Aria, "even after what she did you allow her to go out!"

"Mike!" Her mother shouted.

"It's not your sister we're talking about tonight!" Her father answered. "And it has nothing to do with what you did tonight!

"I won't stop seeing my friends!" Mike angrily snapped.

"Oh trust me, you will!" Byron said. "Now go to your room!"

Mike took a step toward his father and looked at him straight in the eyes. "No!"

Aria's father swallowed hard and Aria knew that he was having a hard time controlling himself. "I said, Go. to . your. room, Mike!" He said, pronouncing each word very slowly.

Mike didn't make a move and kept staring at his father, challenging him. "Fuck. You!"

As soon as the words fell from her brother's lips, Aria saw her father's hand rise in the air and before anyone had the time to know what was happening, her father slapped Mike across the face.

Aria breathed out in shock. Never had she seen her father hurting one of them, he had never slapped them, never.

"Byron!" Her mother yelled, tears falling down her cheeks.

Byron swallowed hard and Aria could see the regret in his eyes, she knew that he hadn't meant to do that. Mike looked at his father, anger all over his face, his hand massaging his red cheek before rushing toward the stairs.

"Mike..." Aria tried to stop her brother by grabbing his arm.

Mike immediately took his arm away from her. "Don't touch me! This is all your fault. I hate you. Do you hear me? I hate you!" Her brother said before running upstairs. Her mother immediately followed Mike but Aria heard him slam the door of his room, preventing her mother from come in.

Aria didn't make a move, frozen by her brother's words. He was right, everything was her fault, she was responsible for everything. It was her fault if her brother had done what he had done; it was her fault if her mother was drinking, she was responsible for all of this, it was the mess she had created. It was her own fucking mess. She had destroyed her family. How could she go out with people after what she had done? She had spent her evening playing bowls and having fun but she didn't deserve it, she didn't deserve anything.

Suddenly she felt like she was about to explode, she needed to do something, she couldn't stay here, she was burning inside. Without saying anything, she rushed toward the door, but her father stopped her.

"Aria, where are you going?" he asked her.

She turned to him, trying her best to hold back the tears which were threatening to escape. "I just need to get out for a while!"

"But it's late!" Her father argued.

"I know, but I really need to, Dad. I won't do anything stupid, I promise but…I need to go!" She pleadingly said.

Byron looked into his daughter's eyes and, unable to ignore the distress he saw, nodded and watched as Aria left the house.

Once Aria had closed the door, Byron Montgomery sighed and sat at the kitchen table, taking his head in his hands. He didn't want Aria to go outside alone, but he had seen the distress in her eyes and he knew that she needed it. He was aware that his daughter was broken, he could see it every day in her eyes, and the last thing he wanted was for her to hurt herself like she had already done.

He could never forget this day; it was, unfortunately, etched on his memory forever. It was a few days after_ this_ had happened; he didn't think that his life could be worse back then, his peaceful life had turned into a total mess, but Byron had been wrong, his life actually got worse this day.

**_A year ago*_**

_Byron stepped into his house, closing the door behind him. He had gone to work but he wished he hadn't, it had been hell. His colleagues had been nice to him, giving him complaisant looks all day, but he could see that they were judging him._

_He went to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee before sitting at the table. All of a sudden, he heard a noise upstairs. He knew that Aria was here, they tried to never let her alone, but Ella had probably gone to pick Mike up from high school. He didn't go to see her, as usual, he was afraid of seeing her, not because he didn't want to see or talk to his daughter, but because he wasn't able to look at her in the eyes, and he knew that if he did, she could see the anger in his eyes. He was trying not to be angry, he knew she already blamed herself very much, but he couldn't help it._

_Maybe his colleagues were right to judge him, maybe he had a part of responsibility in what had happened, after all, she was his daughter, he was the one who had raised her. He still couldn't explain how such a thing had happened. __What had he done wrong? He wasn't world's best father, he worked a lot and came back home late, but he had always been here for his children and he had tried to teach them what was good and what wasn't. _

_So why had this happened? _

_His cell phone, suddenly, pulled him out of his thoughts. He reached for his phone in his pocket and his heart beat faster when he saw the name on the screen. Why was he calling him? _

_Anxious, Byron pressed the green button and took the call._

"_Yes?" _

"Byron!_" The voice was cold and harsh on the other side of the phone. _"How could you let your daughter come to the funeral?"

_The funeral! It was today. Byron had totally forgotten, since a couple of days, it was as if the world had stopped turning. How had he been able to forget that?_

"_What are you talking about?" He asked astonished. "She didn't come!"_

"She did!"_ His interlocutor snapped. "_She was there, after what she did! How could you let her come?"

_Byron could hear the sadness and the pain in his voice and he sighed. __He couldn't believe that Aria had gone to the funeral, she wasn't supposed to __but ,deep down, he knew that it would have been impossible for her not to go. _

_"I'm deeply sorry," he said on the phone. _

_His interlocutor hung up before Byron could say anything else. _

_What could he have said anyway? _

_Byron immediately got up and made his way upstairs, his cup of coffee in his hand. The door of Aria's room was open, Byron threw a glance inside but his daughter wasn't in here. He then walked to the bathroom and knocked at the door. He waited a few seconds but nobody answered him._

_"Aria?" He called out. "Are you in here?" Once again nothing came from the bathroom. _

_Getting worried, Byron grabbed the hand door and slowly opened the door. _

_His life was a mess, and he didn't think that it could be worse, but, as soon as he stepped in the bathroom, it did. _

_His daughter was lying on the floor, her long hair on her face and an empty box of medicine in her small hand. _

_The cup of coffee that Byron was holding escaped his hands and the hot liquid flowed up to his sixteen years old daughter whose skin was already cold._

* * *

"Aria?"

She saw the surprise on his face when Ezra opened the door and found her standing in front of him. She had walked a lot, not bothering of her toes which were aching badly. She didn't even know why she had come to his apartment; it was as if she had ended up here without realizing it.

"What are you doing here?" Ezra asked her.

She asked herself the same question. What was she doing here? What was she looking for?

As she didn't answer, Ezra took a better look at her. She didn't seem very well; she had cried for sure, her eyes were still puffy and red yet still so beautiful.

"Are you alright?"

Once again, she didn't answer but pointed at the inside of his apartment. "Can I come in?" She asked him in a soft voice.

Ezra sighed. He knew that it wasn't a good idea. He had tried so hard to control himself in her presence; he had tried so hard to stop looking at her lips while he was tutoring her, or even at the way her long hair were flowing on her shoulders when she was walking. He was so attracted to her and he was afraid of not being able to control himself if she stepped into his place, especially after what had happened the last time she had come.

"Aria, I don't think that it's a good idea," he told her. No matter how much he wanted her to come in, he had to keep control, he couldn't let her come.

He saw the disappointment flashed across her face.

"Why?"

"Because," Ezra started hesitantly, not knowing if he could tell her the real reason. But he had to; it was the only way she could understand. "Because I don't know what I might do if you come into this apartment, Aria," he let out. "I'm trying so hard to fight the attraction I have towards you, but if you come in…I'm afraid that I can't fight it anymore, and I don't want to do something we would both regret!"

Ezra looked at Aria, biting his lip in anticipation. He didn't want her to think that he was a pervert, totally obsessed with her, but she didn't seem to be afraid and didn't leave as he had expected her to do; but, instead, she looked at him and took a step toward him.

"Nobody's asking you to fight it!" Aria said, getting closer to him, her eyes wandered on his lips.

She now knew why she had come to his apartment and what she was looking for. It wasn't because it was the only place she could go to or because she wanted someone to talk to. She had come to him because she was dying inside and she needed to feel what she had felt when they had kissed, this feeling that a part of her was still alive after what had happened. She knew that he was the only one who could give her that, and tonight she needed it, more than ever.

Ezra opened one's eyes wide as soon as the words fell from her lips. "What?"

"I said you should stop fighting!" She said, getting even closer to him, her eyes intensively looking at him.

Now he couldn't stop looking at her lips as the smell of her perfume filled his nostrils.

"Aria, I…"

Aria interrupted him by placing her forefinger on his lips as her eyes locked with his.

A shiver run through Ezra's body at this tiny contact; he didn't understand how a simple little contact could do this to him. Every part of his body was telling him to touch her, and, suddenly, he couldn't take it anymore. He put his hands behind her back, pressing her flush against him, and attacked her lips vigorously.

She immediately responded, inserting her tongue in his waiting mouth by walking them inside his apartment. Ezra complied and stepped back until they were both inside his apartment. He slammed the door and pressed Aria against it, kissing her harder.

Her hands wrapped around his neck, bringing him closer to her as his lips went down on her neck, sucking at the soft skin there which caused her to moan. As his mouth came back to hers, his hands snaked along her body and reached her breasts that he cupped in his hands, pressing them gently, making her groaned softly in pleasure.

His whole body was on fire, he wanted to kiss her until she couldn't even breathe, he wanted to kiss every part of her body, he wanted her so badly. But when he felt her hands grabbing the hem of his T-Shirt to pull it off, the realization of what was happening hit him. He knew that if they didn't stop now, they wouldn't stop at all; at least, he wouldn't be the one to stop.

He pulled away from her lips and looked at her. "Aria," he breathed out. "We should stop, before it's too late."

But it was already too late for Aria. She was experimenting what she had been looking for, fire was running through her whole body giving her the sensation that she wasn't totally dead, that, despite the emptiness she was feeling, a part of her was still alive, and she wanted more. She needed more. She wanted him to make love to her or to fuck her, whatever he wanted to call that. She needed to keep feeling this sensation, at least for this night, no matter the consequences, this night she needed to feel alive.

She looked at him straight in the eyes. "No, don't stop, please." She said, pleadingly, her eyes dark with lust.

"Aria…"

"Please." She begged him once again.

Ezra stared into her beautiful eyes where want, determination and still this sadness she always had were shining, and that was all he took him to give up and press his mouth against her.

Now he couldn't step back, he wanted her too badly. He let her remove his T-shirt and groaned when she left wet kisses on his bare chest as his hands tangled in her long glossy hair. He then reached over to unzip her little dress and throw it onto the floor.

Aria's hands lowered down his body until she found Ezra's belt and she then started to undo it before tugging down his trousers. She bit her lip when she noticed the protuberance which had formed in Ezra's boxers and that she knew she was creating. As Aria attacked his mouth once again, Ezra let his hands run along her skinny body until his hands stopped under her thighs; Aria got the signal and jumped to wrap her legs around Ezra's waist.

He carried her to his bed where Hemingway was sleeping. The feline immediately jumped from the bed with a meow of dissatisfaction when Ezra settled Aria onto the mattress, shattering his peaceful slumber.

Ezra lied above her and kissed her neck before moving down up to her breast where he placed hot open-mouthed kisses all along the edge of her bra causing shivers throughout Aria's body.

Ezra then reached Aria's panties and softly pulled them out of her as Aria straightened up to do the same with Ezra's boxer and help him to wiggle out of them.

Once they were both free from all their clothes, Ezra reached over to remove a condom from his nightstand before propping himself up on his elbows above her. He was about to kiss her when she stopped him.

"Ezra," she said, breathless, calling him by his first name for the first time.

"What? You want to stop?" He asked her. His whole body was aching for her, he wanted her so badly but if she wanted to stop he would immediately stop, he would never do something against her will.

Aria shook her head in negation. "No. But you have to promise me something."

"What?" He asked her furrowing his brows.

"Promise me that, no matter what might happen between us, you will _never _love me." Aria said.

Ezra looked at her, confusion etched all over his face. Most girls generally asked for the contrary before sleeping with someone, they generally wanted to make sure that the guy did care about them before sleeping with him. Never had he met a girl who asked him to _never_ love her.

What a strange girl she was!

"Why? Because I'm your teacher?" Ezra asked her, intrigued.

Aria looked at him straight in the eyes and, for a moment, all he saw was pure sadness. "No. Because I don't deserve to be loved."

"Aria…"

"Ezra, please, you have to promise me!" Aria begged him.

For an instant, Ezra wondered what had happened to her to make her think that she didn't deserve to be loved. She was so young, how could she think such a thing? But he didn't insist. He wanted her so badly that it was almost painful and, after all, even if he liked her and was extremely attracted to her, he wasn't going to fall in love with her. So he complied and told her what she wanted to hear.

"I promise. I will _never_ love you." He said before kissing her deeply.

* * *

**So what do you think? ****I really hope you liked this chapter.**

**You probably recognized the lines from the summary of this story.**

**So, with this flashback you already have some clues. I know that some of you are confused and want to know what exactly happened in Aria's past and as someone asked me when exactly you find out, here is the answer: **

**Actually, there will be some hints over the next chapters which will help you to put two and two together especially with the other flashbacks. But everything will be explained and detailed in chapter eleven, which I'm currently writing.**

**I know it seems long, but I will update regularly, so don't worry, it won't be too long. **

**Thank you for being patient :)**

**Please, review to tell me your thoughts.**

**xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you so so much for your reviews.**

* * *

**Chapter seven**

Aria looked up from the _The heart is a lonely hunter_ test that Ezra had given them and met his gaze. He looked briefly at her before going back to his corrections. They hadn't talked since what had happened between them a few days ago, and she didn't really know what she should expect from him.

She didn't regret what had happened; maybe she should, after all, she just had sex with her teacher, but she had needed it and it had been worth it. When they had slept together, she had gotten what she had been looking for, the same feeling she had felt when they had kissed for the first time. For a moment, she had felt alive, nothing had mattered but the pleasure Ezra was giving her body.

The promise she had made him do came back to her mind. She didn't have any choice, she couldn't drag someone into her messy life, but, now, it seemed stupid to her. She had made him promise to never love her as if there was a chance that he could fall in love with her. A man like Ezra Fitz couldn't love someone like her, and she was fine with it, love wasn't what she was looking for, she could not let someone love her, never.

As she was lost in her thoughts, the bell rang, announcing the end of the last class of the day.

"Alright!" Ezra said, slamming his hands together. "Time's up."

All the students got up from their seat and gave their tests to Ezra, some of them complaining about the lack of time.

Aria slowly put her books into her bag before walking to Ezra's desk to give him her test. He grabbed it, looked around to make sure that any student was listening, and whispered to her, "We need to talk."

Aria nodded. "I know." She knew that they did need to talk; they couldn't just avoid the subject forever and pretend that nothing had happened.

"But not here," Ezra added. "My place tonight? Do you think you can make it?" He asked her, hoping she was going to accept.

Aria thought for a second, she had a session with Doctor Sullivan, but it was just one hour and Ezra's building was near her office. She could find an excuse to tell her parents.

"Yes, I will make it," she replied. "Seven?"

Ezra nodded in affirmation. "Perfect."

Aria gave him a small smile before leaving his classroom.

"Aria!" She heard Hanna's voice call her as she was walking toward her locker to take back the books the needed for her homework.

She stopped and waited for Hanna to join her.

"Are you sure you still can't go to Noel Khan's party?" The blond girl asked her.

Two days ago, Hanna and Emily had asked her if she wanted to go to a party that a soccer player was having. She had told them that she couldn't because she already had plans. After what had happened when she had come back home after the evening with the girls, Aria had sworn to herself that she would not go out with them again. She shouldn't have accepted, she didn't deserve to have fun like that, it wasn't right.

She shook her head in negation. "No, I'm sorry."

Hanna sighed. "Okay, but can I, at least, ask you something?"

Aria nodded. "Sure."

"See, there is this boy who will be there," Hanna started. "His name is Caleb and he is just… gorgeous," the young girl said, blushing slightly. "It's why I want to be perfect, and for that, I need your help. I already got a dress, but I want to know what you think, I trust your judgment. I have it with me, so if you have a few seconds, I would like to show it to you."

"Okay," Aria replied. She didn't want to go out with the girls but it didn't mean that she was going to just ignore them or be mean to them.

A big smile crossed Hanna's face. "Great, come with me!" She told Aria, walking at a fast pace to the girls' bathroom.

The two girls entered the bathroom; Hanna closed the door and came in a toilet. She got out a few minutes later and shyly smiled.

"So, what do you think?"

Aria didn't even look at Hanna's face, her eyes too focused on the beautiful red dress that Hanna was wearing. This dress! It wasn't the same one of course, but it was very similar and seemed so familiar to her, too familiar.

_**Rosewood, a year ago**_

"Aria_!" The sixteen year old girl heard her mother's voice calling her. "_There's something for you_!"_

_Aria immediately dropped the book she was reading and jumped from her bed before rushing downstairs; hoping it was what she thought it was._

"_It just arrived for you," her mother, who was on the point to leave, said, pointing at a package on the kitchen table. Aria's face lighted up when she saw the package. She grabbed it and was about to go back upstairs when her mother stopped her._

"_Honey, could you please go to pick Mike up from his friend's house?" Her mother asked her. "I might stay late at work"_

_Aria furrowed her brows in confusion. "I thought you weren't working today."_

"_Yes but… Sydney is sick, so I need to replace her at the gallery," she awkwardly replied. _

_If Aria hadn't been so preoccupied by the new package that she had just received, she would have noticed her mother's weird expression, but the only thing which mattered for the young girl was the brown package she had in her hands.__ She nodded, told goodbye to her mom and rushed upstairs. As soon as she reached her room, she closed the door and excitedly began to open the package. __She was waiting for it since three weeks and she couldn't wait to see it._

_A big smile spread across her face when she got a beautiful red dress out of the package. She immediately got rid of the clothes she was wearing and delicately slipped into the dress. _

_She stood in front of her mirror and smiled when she looked at herself. She was stunning, or, at least, the dress was. __The silky fabric, which stopped at mid thighs revealing her tanned legs due to two weeks in Florida, perfectly suited her thin body as the bright red color made a perfect contrast with her long black __hair which were flowing onto her shoulders._

_Aria took the new cell phone that she had gotten for her sixteenth birthday two months ago, and quickly dialed the number that she knew by heart. _

"_I just received the dress!" She excitedly said as soon as her interlocutor picked up. "You were right, it's perfect! We're gonna have the best time ever!"_

"Aria?" Hanna said, raising an eyebrow. "You don't like it?" She worried.

"No, I do," Aria softly replied. "You're gorgeous, Hanna." She said, trying her best to hold back the tears which had started to fill her eyes.

"Thank you!" Hanna smiled widely.

"I have to go, now," Aria said, telling goodbye to the blond girl.

As soon as she left the bathroom, making her way to the exit, a tear rolled down her cheek that she quickly wiped away with the sleeve of her shirt.

* * *

"So, Aria, how is high school going?" Anne Sullivan asked her young patient who was sitting on the black sofa in front of her.

"Fine." Aria replied. "It's going fine."

"That's a good thing." Doctor Sullivan said, smiling softly. "Are your teachers nice?"

Aria felt herself blushing when the question fell from her therapist's mouth. "Yes, they are." She quickly replied. She just had sex with one of them, so saying the contrary would be a very ironic thing to say.

Doctor Sullivan smiled. "And did you meet some nice people there?" She asked her patient. Aria exactly knew what the doctor meant; she wanted to know if she had made friends, if she was going out with other students. It was always the same thing with therapists; they never asked the question directly. But now she was used talking to them, they couldn't fool her anymore.

The night with Hanna, Emily and Spencer came back to her mind. "I do," she replied. "I mean, there are some nice girls, I got out with them the other day, I didn't really want to, but well, I did."

Doctor Sullivan nodded. "And how was it?"

"It was fine, but it won't happen again," Aria sternly said.

"Why not?"

As Aria didn't answer, Doctor Sullivan hesitantly started. "Is it because of what happened?"

Aria heart started to beat faster, and she began to nervously twist her hands together. She had never talked about _that _with Doctor Sullivan, she was aware that the doctor knew everything because she had her folder, but she wasn't ready for that. She couldn't talk about it; she didn't feel the force to; she knew it would be too painful

"It's okay, Aria, we don't have to talk about it now if you don't feel like it," Doctor Sullivan, aware of her patient's nervousness, said.

Aria let out a sigh of relief, glad that her doctor had dropped the subject; she knew she would have to discuss it with her doctor one day or another, but, for now, she didn't have to and it was a huge relief.

"And at home, tell me, is everything okay?" Doctor Sullivan asked Aria, in an attempt to change the subject.

But this subject wasn't easier to talk about for Aria. She looked down for a moment before answering. "Yes, everything's fine," she lied. She didn't want Doctor Sullivan to know what was happening to her family. She didn't want her to know that her mother couldn't live without a glass of wine or that her brother had just been caught breaking into a house. She couldn't say that to a stranger, she didn't want her to think badly of her family, especially when all of this was her fault.

Doctor Sullivan looked at her with a suspicious look on her face but nodded. "Alright."

She then glanced at the little clock on the wall in front of her and got up from her seat. "Okay, so I guess you're free to go."

Aria imitated Doctor Sullivan and got up from her seat.

"See you on Thursday, have a good evening Aria," Doctor Sullivan told her with a warm smile.

"Thank you, you too," Aria replied making her way to the door.

Doctor Sullivan walked to the tiny window of her office and watched as her young patient exited the building. She sighed and shook her head. She knew that Aria was lying when she had told her that everything was going fine at home; she had had a lot of patients: children, teenagers, adults and she knew when someone was lying to her; she saw it in their eyes.

But what worried the experimented doctor the most was what she had seen in Aria's eyes when she had wanted to talk about her past; this pure sadness and also this other overwhelming feeling which could destroy someone, _the guilt_.

There wasn't a lot she could do for now, as long as Aria didn't want to talk about what had shattered her life , she couldn't help her, she could only hope that Aria would open to her soon, because she knew that the young girl needed to open up to someone before it destroys her.

* * *

Ezra opened the oven and got out the dish with his oven gloves to prevent him from burning himself. He put the dish on the table and looked at it with a suspicious look on his face.

He had wanted to cook something for Aria as he had asked her to come over and had opted for lasagna. His grandmother made this for him every time he visited her in Ohio, and it was one of his favorite dishes. But the dish he was looking at had nothing to do with the golden and tasty meal that his grandmother used to cook; this one was yellowish and didn't even smell good. Ezra looked at his watch and rolled his eyes when he realized that Aria would be here in a few minutes and that it was too late to cook something else or even to order pizzas.

He didn't know what he was going to say to Aria, but what he knew was that they needed to talk. He was feeling guilty, he knew he shouldn't have caved in; he should have kept control of himself.

No matter how attracted he was to her, he had promised himself to stay strong, but she had been the one to make a first step and he hadn't been able to resist. He had wanted her so badly; he had wanted so badly to kiss her, to touch her, to _have_ her and, if he was honest with himself, he had to admit that it was what he had wanted since the first time he had seen her.

The sound of a soft knock on his door filled his apartment, pulling him out of his thoughts. He got up and got rid of his oven gloves before opening the door.

"Hey." Aria greeted him as Ezra smiled to her and stepped to the side, allowing her entry. She entered his tiny apartment and a small smile spread across her face when she noticed the dish on the table.

"You cooked?" She asked him.

"I tried." Ezra replied not sure that his dish was fit to eat.

Aria softly smiled. "You didn't have to."

"That was the least I could do," Ezra said.

Aria immediately froze at his words and her features hardened. She didn't want him to think that he owed her something because he had slept with her. She wasn't a poor little girl who had been abused by someone, if she had slept with him it was because she wanted to and needed it.

Ezra looked at Aria's face and realized that his words could have been taken the wrong way. "I mean, I asked you to come over and it's dinner time, I can't let you with an empty stomach.

Aria relaxed and smiled. "Thank you."

"Well maybe you should wait until you eat before thanking me," Ezra said.

"If I'm still alive!" She teasingly said in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

The two of them sat at the table and Ezra carefully filled Aria's plate with lasagna before doing the same for him.

He then picked up some lasagna with his fork and brought them to his mouth. As soon as he began to chew, the acid taste invaded his mouth and he did his best not to spit the awful food out of his mouth. As he saw Aria bringing her fork to her mouth he stopped her.

"Don't!" He told her with a grimace.

Aria looked at him, astonished. "What? Is it that bad?"

Ezra nodded in affirmation. "Trust me, it is. I'm sorry."

Aria laughed softly. "You tried."

Ezra shook his head and looked at the dish in front of him. "What a waste!" He complained. "I'm gonna give it to Heming-Hem," Ezra said, using his cat nickname on purpose as he remember that Aria found the whole name ridiculous.

The young teacher called his cat who immediately jumped from the bed where he was peacefully sleeping.

"Is he going to eat that?" Aria asked him, furrowing her brows.

Ezra nodded in affirmation. "Oh, yes, this cat was eating garbage when I found him, he eats everything," he replied, sure of himself.

He them picked up Hemingway's bowl and filled it with lasagna before putting it back on the floor in front of the ginger cat. The cat came to his dish, smelt the food that his owner had given him and turned his back before going back on the bed.

Aria smiled in amusement. "I think you were right, it must be really bad," she teased him.

Desperate, Ezra went to his fridge in attempt to find something to eat and shook his head when he noticed that the only thing he had was ice cream.

"Do you like ice cream?" He asked Aria.

"Who doesn't?" She replied.

"Good, because that's the only thing I have."

Aria smiled softly at him. "It's perfect!"

Ezra took two bowls out of his cupboard and filled them with mint ice cream and added some whipped cream on top of it. Aria and he then went to sit down on the couch as Ezra gave her one of the bowls.

They ate, talking of nothing special, both dreading the moment they would have to talk about _this_ night.

Once they had finished, Ezra turned to Aria and nervously began to talk. "Aria," he began with a serious tone of voice. "If I wanted you to come over, it was because I wanted to talk with you about what happened between us the other night."

"Do you regret it?" Aria immediately asked him.

Ezra stared into her eyes a few seconds and sighed. "I feel guilty," he honestly said.

"Don't." Aria replied, serious as well.

"But you're my student, it's ... not right," Ezra told her, looking down.

Aria looked at him and sighed. She didn't want him to feel guilty, he hadn't done anything wrong and she did know that there was no reason to feel guilty; there were worse things to feel guilty for.

"Don't feel guilty; Ezra, what we did was nothing, there's no reason to feel guilty. There are so much worse than that, so much more to feel guilty for. Trust me, some people really have something to feel guilty for, but not you," Aria said.

She didn't want him to feel guilty as she exactly knew how overwhelming this feeling could be, it could make people do desperate things like the thing she had done in her bathroom a year ago.

Ezra furrowed his brows, just like the time they were discussing _To kill a Mocking bird_, Aria seemed to be gone somewhere as if she wasn't even talking to him. She wasn't even looking at him, her eyes staring vacantly into space.

"What exactly are we talking about?" Ezra asked her.

Aria came back from her painful memory and looked up at Ezra. "I'm just saying that you shouldn't feel guilty, that's all."

Ezra bit his lip, what she was saying was really comforting for him. He didn't want to feel guilty because if he did, so it meant that what had happened between them could not happen again, and, as he was looking at her pink lips, he couldn't help wanting it to happen again. His attraction to this girl was stronger than he had thought and he had to admit that he wanted her again.

A shiver ran through Aria's spine when she spotted Ezra's look on her lips and she suddenly felt the urge to kiss him. She leant forward and softly pressed her lips against his. Ezra cupped her face in his hands and responded to her kiss by brushing her bottom lip with his tongue. Aria opened her mouth a little wider and their tongues immediately started to battle for dominance. They groaned against each other's mouths and Aria brought herself closer to Ezra who settled her onto his lap as she pressed herself flush against him, moaning when she felt him hardening under her.

Ezra pulled away a bit, breathless and looked at her. "How long exactly can you stay here?"

Aria kissed him once again before replying. "Don't worry, we have plenty of time."

A small grin played on Ezra's lips as Aria reluctantly got up from his lap, waiting for him to join her. He did, and she jumped to wrap her legs tightly around his waist, kissing his neck as he carried her to his bed.

He laid her onto the bed and started to unbutton her shirt.

As Ezra's fingers were unbuttoning her shirt, kissing each newly uncovered skin, causing her back to arch, and goose bumps to rise on her skin, Aria realized that she had fooled herself if she had thought that it would not happen again. She needed it; she needed to feel what she was feeling right now as Ezra was pleasuring her body.

It was what kept her from going mad, what permitted her to deal with her messy life, to prevent her from doing what she had done in her bathroom a year ago.

She didn't want Ezra to get involved in her life, she couldn't let him to, but as long as he wanted her body, she was fine with it; she was so empty inside that it was the only thing she could ever give him anyway.

* * *

**So, what do you think?**

**I can see that some of you already have their theory but, for now, I can't answer any question, you will have to wait for chapter eleven which I finally finished writing. To be clear, the biggest part will be re****vealed in this chapter, but there will still be a little part unresolved which will be revealed later in the story.**

**Please keep writing your wonderful reviews and tell me what you think.**

**xoxox**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you so much for all your reviews**

* * *

**Chapter eight**

Ezra who was quietly sleeping in his bed, Hemingway snuggled down beside him, woke up with a start when he heard loud knocks on his door. He groaned and grabbed his iPhone on his nightstand which told him that it was barely eight o'clock in the morning. He got up, made his way to the door, wondering who could disturb him so early on a Saturday morning and got his answer when he opened the door. There was only one person who could come that early without announcing herself: his mother.

"Mom?" Ezra said, astonished when he saw his mother, smiling widely in front of him.

"Surprise!" Dianne said before pulling him into a hug.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" He asked her when they pulled apart.

Dianne lived one hour away from his son which wasn't too far away, however, they didn't see each other very often, not because they didn't have a good relationship, but because Dianne was a very active woman who was always busy. She was working in an art gallery and was also volunteering in a children hospital. It was like that since Ezra's father had died from a lungs cancer ten years ago. When he had passed his way, Dianne, who didn't want to spend the rest of her life crying over her husband, had decided to keep herself busy and to experiment a lot of new things.

"Well, I have planned to have lunch with my friend Anne, so I decided to check on my son," Dianne replied. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

Ezra shook his head. "Of course, I'm happy to see you, Mom," he said before stepping to the side, allowing her entry.

"Do you want me to make you some coffee?" Ezra offered.

Dianne nodded. "Yes, please."

Ezra grabbed a coffee filter, put it into the machine and started it.

"So, when do I meet her?" Her mother suddenly asked as Ezra was making coffee. He turned over, a surprised look on his face, not knowing what her mother was talking about, and opened one's eyes wide when he saw the scarf that Aria had forgotten, in his mother's hands.

"Mom, what are you talking about?" Ezra asked his mom as if he didn't even see what she was talking about.

"The girl who this scarf belongs to, when do I meet her?" Her mother insisted.

Ezra first panicked, but he then came to the realization that it was a scarf, not a bra, and that he could easily said that Maggie had forgotten it at his place.

"Mom, it's Maggie's, she forgot it the last time she came," Ezra lied.

Dianne looked at his son and furrowed her brows. "Are you two back together?"

Ezra immediately shook his head in negation. "NO, Mom, of course not, she's with Hardy now."

"So this scarf is not hers!" Dianne said with conviction.

"Why do you think that?" Ezra asked his mother, not understanding why she didn't want to believe him.

A big smile spread across his mother's face. "Because you did this thing with your eyes when I asked you about the scarf, you do that when you're hiding something."

Ezra looked at her, astonished. "Which thing?" He asked her, wanting to know what had betrayed him.

Her mother shook her head, still smiling. "I'm not going to tell you, it's my secret way to know when you're lying."

"Really?" Ezra said, amazed.

Her mother nodded. "Really! It's how I knew that you were hanging out with Maggie instead of going to your driving lessons back in high school and it's why I know that you hate the suit I gave you for Christmas last year, even if you told me that you adored it." Her mother confessed with a smirk.

Ezra's jaw dropped, socked by his mother's confession as a slight shade of red colored his cheeks. He couldn't believe that his mother did know all the things he had tried to hide from her. He remembered the suit; it was a horrible grey one which Ezra had immediately hated, but her mother had seemed so happy to give it to him that he had lied and had told her that he loved it.

"So, can I, at least, have her name?" His mother asked.

Ezra sighed. "Mom, she's not my girlfriend," he honestly said.

A grin played on his mother's lips. "So, you admit that this girl does exist?"

"Mom…" Ezra tried to say. He wanted to drop the subject, what could he say anyway? That he was having an affair with his student but that she wasn't even his girlfriend?

"It's okay, Ezra. You will tell me all about her when you're ready," Dianne said, noticing the discomfort of her son.

Ezra gave a small smile to his mother, perfectly knowing that it would never happen.

* * *

Dianne stayed with her son all morning and left just before midday to join Anne, her friend who she had planned to have lunch with in town. She parked her car in front of the restaurant that her friend had booked and a big smile spread across the middle-aged woman's face when she saw her, waving at her on the other side of the street.

Anne Sullivan crossed the road and walked at a fast pace to join her friend.

"Anne," Dianne said, as the two women hugged each other. "I'm so glad to see you."

"So am I!" Anne replied, smiling widely to her friend.

Dianne and Anne were friends for a long time. They had met in college where Dianne was studying art while Anne was working very hard to get her psychologist diploma which she had gotten with flying colors.

The two friends entered the restaurant and sat at the table which had been booked for them.

"So, have you seen your son?" Anne asked Dianne once they had ordered two drinks.

"Yes, I visited him this morning, he seems fine, and I think he is seeing someone," Dianne replied.

Anne smiled. "That's a good thing; he seemed very bad after his break up with…. how was it?"

"Jackie," Anne replied with a grin of disgust as if it was painful to even say the name of the girl who had broken his son's heart. "Yeah, that's a good thing, but, he doesn't want to tell me anything about this mysterious girl! " Dianne complained.

"Oh, you know how the kids are, I'm sure he will tell you soon," Anne told her friend.

"Yes, you must be right," Dianne said. "What about you? Everything's okay at work?" Dianne asked her friend with concern.

Anne shook her head and sighed. "Actually, not really. I have a new patient since a few weeks, it's a seventeen year old girl, and I don't know, I don't succeed in anything with her."

Dianne looked at her friend and furrowed her brows. "What is her problem?"

"It's really complicated, she has been released from a psychiatric hospital where she has spent months and it seems that, no matter what I do, she refuses to open up to me," Anne said, shaking her head in frustration.

"She probably needs time," Dianne suggested.

Anne nodded. "Yes I know but…this kid is ravaged by the guilt, I can see it in her eyes every time she looks at me," the psychologist said as the teenager's sad eyes came to her mind.

Dianne furrowed her brows. "Does she really have something to feel guilty about?"

Anne sighed and bit her lip. Even if Anne was her dear friend, it didn't feel right to talk about one of her patient and her personal life, moreover, as a doctor, she was under professional secrecy. "Yes, she does, but I would like her to talk to me about it, otherwise, I can't help her and, trust me, this girl needs help," Anne told her friend, staying vague on the details.

Dianne reached over and grabbed Anne's hand in an attempt to comfort her. She knew that Anne cared a lot about her patients and was willing to do everything possible to help them. It was what made her an amazing doctor and Dianne knew that, if her patients didn't feel good, Anne didn't feel good either.

"Don't worry; I'm sure she will open up to you soon," she tried to reassure her.

Anne gave a weak smile to her friend and sighed. "I hope you're right, because what she feels right now is killing her inside and, honestly, I'm scared for her."

* * *

Ezra stepped into the bookstore and smiled at the bookseller who lowered the book she was reading to look at him, before smiling warmly. He was used to going here and the woman knew him very well. He loved this place; it wasn't a very modern bookstore which only sold all the new bestsellers, but a small and typical bookstore where people could find old and classic books. Ezra walked to the back of the bookstore and stopped when he saw a familiar girl, looking at a book.

Aria!

He smiled and walked to her, making sure that there was no one he knew in the bookstore. He stopped right behind her and looked over her shoulder before furrowing his brows when he noticed the tittle of the book that she had in her hands.

"_L'étranger_?"

Aria turned over and smiled when she saw him. "Hey!" She greeted him. "It's the book we have to read for French class," Aria explained.

Ezra then looked around him, making sure that nobody was listening to them and spoke in a low voice. "So, would you like to come over tonight?"

Aria smiled softly and bit her lip. "Yes, I guess I can make it."

"Great!"

"Okay, I have to go now. Let's say seven?" She asked him.

Ezra nodded in affirmation. "Seven's good!"

Aria tell Ezra goodbye and made her way to the bookseller to pay for the book she wanted to buy. All of a sudden, the little bell announcing a new visitor rang and the door opened. Aria looked up to throw a glance at the person and she immediately froze when she recognize the middle-aged man who had just stepped in the bookstore. Her heart thumbed against her ribcage as her eyes widened.

He couldn't be here, it was impossible. Why would he be here? But then she remembered that he was a businessperson and was used to traveling all over the country.

The man locked his gaze with Aria's and his features immediately hardened. Aria was unable to turn her look away from the man in front of her as her bottom lip started to tremble.

Ezra, who had noticed the man's arrival and Aria's reaction, watched the silent discussion between Aria and the middle-aged man, a silence filled with uncomfortable feelings.

Aria was so pale that he feared she was going to faint. He took a few steps toward her and joined her.

"Aria?" Ezra said, softly putting his hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Arid didn't answer and kept looking at the man who was staring back at her with his dark eyes.

He was the first one to break eyes contact with her and suddenly turned over before leaving the bookstore.

"Aria?" Ezra insisted.

She finally looked up at him and he could see the tears which were starting to fill her eyes. "I need to go!" She said, rushing to the door, leaving the book she was going to buy on a bookshelf before exiting the bookstore as well.

Ezra stayed in the store, totally astonished by Aria's reaction. He couldn't go after her; he couldn't take the risk of being seen running after his student in the middle of the street. Instead, he took the book that Aria had left and brought it to Cindy, the bookseller.

"Do you know the man who just entered?" Ezra asked the young woman in a low voice.

Cindy nodded. "Yes, I have seen him a couple of times, but I have never talked to him," she replied. "He always looked so sad; I don't think I have ever seen a person who has so much sadness in his eyes."

Ezra nodded, perfectly understanding what Cindy was talking about; he was so used to seeing this kind of sadness in Aria's eyes every time he stared into her big hazel eyes.

* * *

He came back home and corrected his students' tests during the rest of the afternoon. He was always late in his corrections, always telling himself that he had time and ending up correcting his tests during the middle of the night. When he finished the last one, he looked at his watch and noticed that it was almost seven o'clock. He didn't know if Aria was still going to come; she had seemed so shattered at the bookstore when she had seen the man.

All of a sudden, soft knocks filled his apartment, pulling him out of his thoughts. He got up from his seat and opened the door to find Aria in front of him.

"Hey," he greeted her by steeping to the side to allow her entry.

He closed the door and turned to her. "I wasn't sure that you would come."

Aria furrowed her brows. "Why?"

"Because …you didn't seem really well at the bookstore," he hesitantly told her.

Aria looked down and shrugged. "It was nothing."

Before Ezra could say something, Aria got closer to him, wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her mouth against his. She kissed him eagerly, her tongue begging for entrance as her hands lowered to his belt.

"Aria, wait!" Ezra said, breathless by pulling away from her mouth.

"What?" Aria asked, astonished.

Ezra sighed. He couldn't get what had happened at the bookstore out of his mind. He wanted to know why she had been so shattered by the sight of the middle-aged man.

"I just…" he wavered slightly. "You seemed really upset when you saw this man and…"

"Why do you need to talk about it again?" Aria interrupted him by pulling away from him, annoyance to her tone. "I told you that it was nothing!"

"Come on, I know it's not true, you were really pale, I even thought you were going to faint, and I would like to know why. Who was this man?" Ezra insisted.

Aria looked at him and shook her head. "Why do you even care anyway? I'm not your girlfriend, we just… we just fuck, that's all!" She snapped.

Ezra was hurt by her rudeness. He knew they weren't a couple, but he had hoped she knew that, even if they weren't together and, as she had said they 'fucked', he cared about her.

"I'm sorry you see things like this," he told her, getting upset as well. "What do you think? That I'm an insensible jerk who just wants to fuck you? I saw you were upset so, yes, I want to know why, it has nothing to do with you being my girlfriend or not!"

Aria sighed, regretting her reaction. "I just don't want to talk about this!" She replied, trying to control her voice.

Ezra took a step closer to her. "Just tell me one thing and, after that, I will never talk about it again."

"Fine!" Aria complied. "What?"

"Did this man do something to you?" Ezra asked her with concern.

Aria looked down as she felt tears in her eyes. Ezra thought that he had done something to her; he was so far away from the truth, he couldn't be more wrong.

She looked up at him and shook her head in negation. "No, he didn't do anything to me, it's quick the opposite," she said as a painful memory came back to her mind.

**_Rosewood, A year ago_**

_She slowly entered the church, looking around her to make sure that there was no one to see her. She knew she shouldn't be here, but she hadn't been able to stay at home, she couldn't miss that, she needed to be here. Her mother thought she was in her room, but she had used her brother's room to get out of the house without being seen. She had decided to come before everybody comes; she couldn't take the risk to bump into someone.__ Her__ hands were shaking and her heart beating really fast as she made her way __to the center of the church. And then, she reached _it. She inhaled deeply and finally brought herself to look inside the coffin in front of her causing her heart to ache.

_It was what she had done, how could it be real? It couldn't, she was going to wake up. But deep down, she knew it wasn't a nightmare, it was real and she would have to deal with that for the rest of her life._

"_Excuse me?" A man's voice called out behind her, making her jump in surprise. She turned over to face the man who happened to be the pastor and quickly wiped the tear which was rolling down her cheek._

"_I'm sorry dear, I didn't mean to scary you," the pastor apologized. "Are you a family member?" He asked her, a sad look on his face._

"_No," she softly replied. "I'm...a friend."_

"_I am deeply sorry for your loss," the pastor said. "This is such a tragedy. Dying so young…" He said shaking his head as he looked at the coffin. _

"_What the hell are you doing here?" A voice suddenly interrupted them. Both, Aria and the pastor looked at the man who had just entered the church and Aria swallowed hard when she recognized the man who was walking toward them. He was barely recognizable, he seemed to have taken ten years in a few days and his face was full of sorrow. It wasn't the cheerful man who she used to know, the man she knew for years._

"_I'm sorry, I just wanted…" Aria whose eyes had welled up with fresh tears tried to say._

"_How dare you?" The man snapped. "How dare you come here?"_

"_I…"_

"_After what you have done, how dare you even show up today? You have nothing to do here…" He shouted, anger all over his face._

_Aria looked at him as the tears fell down her face. "I'm so sorry." _

_The man stared at the young girl as hatred passed in his eyes. "You are sorry? I don't want your apologizes. You can be sorry it won't change anything. I want you to get out of my life, that's the only thing I want!" He shouted at Aria._

_As Aria stood in front of him, unable to move, the man spoke again, "My wife will be here in a few minutes, so get out before she sees you, she's shattered enough. She doesn't need to see the girl who..." he stopped, his voice broken by his sobs._

_Aria complied and made her way to the exit, wiping her tears with the sleeves of her sweater. _

"_Aria!" He called out her name as she was about to exit the church. Aria turned over and looked at him with her puffy eyes._

"_I will never forgive you for what you did," he told her, looking at her straight in the eyes. "You didn't even deserve to be here; you're the one who should be in there!" He said pointing at the coffin as the tears fell down his face. "Go to hell!"_

_When she came back home this day, Aria went to the bathroom and swallowed an entire box of medicine before climaxing on the floor where her father would find her a few moments later._

Ezra looked at Aria as some tears began to fall down her face. He hadn't meant to make her cry, it wasn't his intention. He had only wanted to know why she was so upset but, visibly, whatever it was; it was something difficult for her. He suddenly realized that he knew nothing about her, nothing at all. He didn't knew what had happened to her, what she had been through, but if there was one thing he knew, it was that she was broken. Until now, he hadn't even realized how broken she was. Whatever had happened to her, it had destroyed her.

"Aria…" He softly say.

She didn't want to cry, not in front of him, but she couldn't stop the tears which were streaming down her face. Every time she wiped them with the sleeve of her blouse, more tears escaped her eyes. During all the afternoon, she had tried not to think about the man she had seen at the bookstore but, now, she couldn't contain her tears anymore.

"I can't talk about this," she said, as soft sobs escaped her lips.

Ezra got closer to her and gently wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She stiffened into his embrace; she didn't want to break down in front of him, she didn't want him to comfort her, he wasn't his boyfriend, they weren't together but especially, she didn't deserve to be comforted. She tried to pull away, but Ezra gently tightened his arms around her, bringing her closer to him.

"Shh," he whispered against her hair, softly kissing the top of her head.

She wanted to pull away again, but she suddenly felt really tired, and, as the heat which emanated from Ezra's body surrounded her, she felt the urge to be closer to him. After promising herself that it was just for this time and that she would not do this again, she finally wrapped her arms around Ezra's waist and burrowed her face into his chest, allowing herself to accept some comfort for the first time in a very long time.

* * *

**I hoped you liked this chapter.**

**As you can see, Ezra's mother is very different, I chose to change her character.**

Notinyourlifetimehoney**: Yes, I think you do understand how the characters feel.**

**Thanks for reading and, please review, I love reading your theories and your thoughts.**

**I'm sorry for any mistake.**

**xoxo**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you so so much for your reviews. **

* * *

**Chapter nine**

Aria woke up and looked around her, sweat running down her neck and her heart beating really fast.

A nightmare. Again.

The good thing about nightmares is that, when you wake up, you realize that it wasn't true and a wave of relief hit you. But for Aria, it was the opposite, her nightmares reminded her over and over again that what had happened was true and that there was no way she could escape it.

She got up and rushed to the bathroom where she splashed her face with cold water. She then walked to the shower and turned the water on before getting rid of her pajama and stepping in the shower. She closed her eyes, enjoying the relaxing effect of the hot water running all over her thin body.

When she got out of the shower, she wrapped a towel around her body and cleaned up the mirror with her hands to erase the vapor that her shower had created. Once the glass was clean, she looked at herself in the mirror and sighed when she saw her reflection. She had big dark circles under her eyes, probably due to a lack of sleep, and her skin was really pale. She didn't even understand how Ezra could find her attractive, how he could even want to sleep with her. Of course, she knew she was pretty; she used to be though, but while she was looking at herself, the only thing she was seeing wasn't a pretty seventeen year old girl but a ghost. A sad smile played on her lips when she realized how true it was; she was a ghost; the cheerful girl she used to be was dead, she was dead since what had happened, she only was the shadow of herself.

After brushing her long dark hair, she came back to her room and picked black pants before slipping on a pale pink T-shirt. She then applied some makeup on her face, insisting on the delicate skin under her eyes in an attempt to hide the black circles that she had under her eyes.

It was the first day of Christmas break but she wasn't really in this whole "Christmas spirit." She used to loved Christmas though, it was her favorite time of the year, she remembered shopping during hours to find presents for her family and watching Christmas movie all day with… It was exactly why she didn't really love Christmas anymore, because it reminded her of what had happened and of what she had lost.

Hanna, Spencer and Emily had asked her to do something with them but she had refused. They hadn't insisted, they had probably already understood that all her excuses were fakes and that she didn't want to go out. She talked to them at school, and she had to admit that she liked them, but that was all. She couldn't get out with friends and have fun, it didn't feel right, _it wasn't right_.

Ezra was different. She wasn't dating him, they weren't together; a part of her knew that it wasn't right to have this kind of relationship with her teacher, but she needed it. She needed this contact; she needed the tiny ashes of life that he created inside her every time he kissed her, every time he touched her, every time they had sex.

As she rose herself on tiptoes to grab the hairspray which was on the top of the cupboard, she accidentally knocked over a little box which fall on the floor. Sighing, she picked the little box up from the floor and her heart beat faster when she saw what kind of box it was. It was a medicine box, a sleeping drug box to be more specific. It surprised her that someone had let this kind of box in the house. She came to the conclusion that her parents probably didn't even know that it was here, if they did, they wouldn't keep it here, where she could so easily took it, not after what had happened.

_**Rosewood, A year ago**_

_Aria rushed upstairs, tears streaming down her face, loud sobs escaping her lips. She went straight to her room and threw herself on her bed. _

_She shouldn't have come to the funeral. She thought that nothing could be worse that what had happened a few days ago, but it had been even worse. Now it was so real, she couldn't even try to pretend that it hadn't happened. _

_Tears kept falling on her cheeks, soaking her pillow, and suddenly she couldn't take it anymore. It was too much; she couldn't handle the pain, the guilt. It was eating away at her soul! She needed to do something. _

_She got up and went to her bathroom before sliding into the small room. She immediately opened the cupboard and started to seek inside. A few seconds later, she closed it and stared at the sleeping drugs box in her small trembling hands._

_She knew it was the only solution. She couldn't live with what she had done. She would never forgive herself._

_She slowly opened the box and filled her hand with the pills. At this moment she didn't even think of her parents who would be devastated, of her little brother who would never forgive her for leaving him, __the only thing she wanted was for everything to stop. __ The guilt was too strong, she couldn't fight it and she didn't want to. __She deserved to feel it. _He_ had been right, she didn't deserve to be alive, she was the one who should have died._

_As she brought her hand full with the white pills closer to her mouth, a face came to her mind._

_Aria closed her eyes, remembering the smiling face that she would never see again. _

"_I'm sorry," she whispered before opening her mouth to swallow the pills. _

* * *

"Ezra, I need your help, Man!" Hardy, who had just entered Ezra's apartment, told him pleadingly.

Ezra looked at his friend with concern. "What's going on?"

"Maggie's Christmas present!" Hardy let out. "I don't know what I'm going to buy her!"

Ezra looked at him, amazed. "What? You still haven't bought her a present? She has kept harassing me for weeks to know what you were going to give her!"

Hardy sighed. "I know, I told her that I had already bought it!" He replied. "Please, you have to go with me to pick her something!" He begged him.

"Fine!" Ezra accepted. "We will find her something together," he said causing Hardy to let out a sigh of relief.

Ezra put his coat on, wrapped a scarf around his neck and the two friends got out and made their way to the shopping mall.

They went to different stores; always leaving empty-handed; Hardy didn't have any idea what present he wanted for Maggie which made things difficult.

Finally, after three hours of useless search, Ezra stopped in front of a jewelry shop and pointed at a pair of silver earrings. "I remembered that Maggie had looked at them the other time when we were shopping together!" Ezra told Hardy as the memory came back to him.

Maggie and Ezra were used to spending time together and Ezra often went with her when she wanted to buy some things. There was no jealousy between Hardy and Ezra. Hardy perfectly knew that everything was over between his girlfriend and his best friend and he respected their strong friendship.

"You could have said it early!" Hardy pointed out. "I don't know, maybe during the three hours we have been looking for a present!"

Ezra chuckled. "I'm sorry; it just came back to me when I saw the earrings."

Hardy shook his head before opening the door and stepping into the shop. He told the seller which earrings he wanted, winced when the man told him how much they cost but, as nothing was too much for the girl he loved, he took them.

They were about to leave the shop when Ezra stopped as his eyes caught a pair of beautiful earring feathers. He had seen her wearing earring feathers many times and he was sure that she would love them. He hadn't planned to buy her anything for Christmas; after all, they weren't a couple, but as he saw the earrings he knew couldn't help himself.

"Ez, what are you doing?" Hardy asked him.

Ezra pointed at the earrings. "I think I'm going to buy them."

Hardy furrowed his brows in confusion. "Why?"

Ezra did not answer immediately, not knowing what to say as he knew that 'for my student who I have an affair with' wouldn't sound good. "I just know someone who will love them," he replied. As Hardy was about to insist, Ezra quickly added. "Someone from my family."

He asked the seller for the earrings, paid for them and left the shop with Hardy.

The two friends made their way to Hardy's car and, as Ezra was about to open the door he stopped when he spotted a man, waiting in front of a distributor. At first, he didn't know why this man seemed so familiar to him, but as he took a better look it occurred to him. He couldn't mistake him for someone else; it was the same man that he had seen at the bookstore a few weeks ago, the one who Aria had seemed so afraid of.

"Man, what are you waiting for?" Hardy, who was already settled behind the wheel, said.

"Will you, please, wait for me a few minutes?" Ezra asked his friend. "I will be right back." Without waiting for Hardy's answer, Ezra crossed the road and walked toward the man. He stopped behind him and cleared his throat.

"Excuse me, sir?" He called out.

The middle-aged man turned over and looked at Ezra. "Yes?"

Ezra didn't even know what he was going to say. He didn't even know why he had felt the urge to see him and to talk to him, and he suddenly felt really stupid.

"I'm sorry…" Ezra stuttered. "I mistook you for someone else."

As he was ready to go back to Hardy's car, the man stopped him. "Wait!"

Ezra turned over and nervously looked at him.

"I recognize you," the man said. "You were at the bookstore the other day; you were the one who was with…"

"Aria." Ezra finished the man's sentence. He saw the man tensed at the mention of Aria's name and, like at the bookstore, his features immediately hardened.

"What do you want?" The man coldly asked.

Ezra hesitated, not really knowing what he really wanted. "I just…" he slowly began. He knew that Aria would be really angry with him for asking questions, but he needed to know. "How do you know Aria?"

The man's angry expression changed into an astonished one as if he had expected him to know it. "I thought you knew."

"Know what?" Ezra asked him.

The man looked down for a seconde before looking up at Ezra. The bookseller was right, there was so much sadness in his eyes, maybe as much as in Aria's eyes, and Ezra wondered if this sadness that they both had, came from the same reason. He wondered what kind of dark secret they both shared.

"Look," the man started seriously. "You seem like a nice guy so, I'm going to give you an advice: stay away from her," he sternly said. "Trust me; this girl will only turn your life into a nightmare." The man told Ezra before leaving him.

* * *

In the middle of the afternoon, Ezra opened the door and stepped to the side, allowing Aria to enter his place, before closing the door behind her.

He had asked her to meet him at his apartment. He knew that with Christmas coming soon they weren't going to see each other a lot during the break and he wanted to see her, at least a bit. He had kept thinking over and over again of the conversation he had had with the man but, of course, he wasn't going to tell Aria that he had talked to him. He had seen how devastated she was when they had seen him at the bookstore, and he had promised her that he would never talk about it again.

She entered his apartment and smiled to him. "You wanted to see me?"

Ezra nodded and wrapped his arms around her waist before kissing her.

"An urgent need?" She asked him with a smirk when they pulled apart.

Ezra rolled his eyes and shook his head. "You know, it's not the only thing I think about!"

He had said that in a joking tone, but he did hope she knew it was true, he did hope she knew that he didn't only want to have sex with her.

"I have something for you," Ezra said before walking to the coat rack to take his jacket.

Aria watched in interrogation as Ezra opened his jacket pocket and removed a tiny packet. He smiled to her and gave her the packet.

"Merry Christmas!"

Aria looked at him with big round eyes, astonishment written all over her face. "Why did you buy me something?"

"Because it's what people do on Christmas," Ezra replied, smiling widely.

Aria shook her head, embarrassed. "You shouldn't have to, I didn't get you anything!"

Ezra smiled. "It doesn't matter. Plus it's just a little thing, it doesn't' mean anything!" Ezra, who knew that she wasn't comfortable with any sign of affection, told her in an attempt to reassure her.

"Come on, open it, you don't risk anything. I promise this is not a proposal ring!" Ezra teasingly said.

Aria rolled her eyes and started to unwrap the packet.

Ezra watched as Aria's eyes lighted up when she saw the earring feathers he had gotten for her.

She stared at them a few minutes, caressing the soft purple feather a small smile on her face. She then looked up at Ezra and smiled softly. "Thank you! I love them!"

Ezra looked into her hazel eyes; for a moment there wasn't this sadness he was used to seeing in them, and he wanted to enjoy this moment as he knew that it wouldn't last.

Aria rose on tiptoes and pressed her lips against his. It wasn't an eager kiss like the ones they used to shared when they were about to have sex, this one was soft, simple and caused a shiver to run through Ezra's body.

Aria pulled away and looked down for a moment, embarrassed by such closeness as a slight blush colored her cheeks.

A knock on the door broke the silence causing both of them to look at the door with worried looks on their faces. Ezra nervously glanced at Aria without moving. He didn't know who was behind the door, and the last thing he wanted was for someone who knew that Aria was his student to find her in his apartment.

"Ezra?" A familiar voice resounded through the door. "It's me, honey!"

Ezra breathed in relief when he recognized the voice; he gave Aria a reassuring smile before walking to the door.

"Mom!" He said by opening the door.

"Honey, I had to see you to discuss…" Dianne said by entering the apartment. She immediately stopped when she saw Aria, nervously standing in front of her. "Oh, sorry, I didn't know you had company!" Dianne apologized.

Aria nervously switched her weight to one foot and gave a weak smile to the older woman. "I was going to leave anyway!"

"Oh, no!" Ezra's mother shook her head. "Don't leave because of me! And maybe my son could be a gentleman like I raised him to be and introduce me!"

Ezra gave her a dry side smile before pointing at his mother. "Aria, this is my mother, Dianne. Mom, this is Aria." Ezra said, thinking that it was better not to give Aria any etiquette.

Ezra's mother smiled warmly at Aria. "Nice to meet you!"

Aria smiled back. "You too!"

Ezra then cleared his throat awkwardly, not knowing what to do as his mother and his student, who he had an affair with, were standing in front of each other.

"I probably should go," Aria said, wanting to escape the awkward situation as fast as possible.

"Oh, are you sure?" Dianne asked.

"Mom," Ezra tried to help Aria. "She said she needed to go."

Dianne nodded. "Fine. It was a pleasure to meet you."

"For me too, Mrs. Fitz," Aria said, putting her coat on.

She walked to the door and Ezra opened it for her.

"Have a good Christmas and enjoy your break," he told her.

Aria smiled. "You too, and thank you again for…" she quietly said pointing at her ears, wanting to stay discrete.

Ezra nodded and smiled gently at her. "You're welcome."

Dianne watched with interest the interaction between his son and the pretty young girl, and raised an eyebrow at the way they were looking at each other.

"She's lovely, Ezra!" Dianne said, a big smile on her face as soon as his son closed the door.

Ezra rolled his eyes, aware of what his mother was suggesting. "Mom! Stop!" He told her. "We're not together if it's what you're thinking!"

Dianne looked at his son and crossed her arms above her chest. "Ezra, you can fool everyone you want, but not me! I saw the way you were looking at her."

Ezra furrowed his brows. "What are you talking about? Which way?"

Dianne raised an eyebrow in front of his son's expression; he seemed to be honest, as if he didn't have a clue what she was talking about, and she started wondering if he was trying to fool her or himself about his feelings for the girl.

She decided not to push him; if he did have feelings for the girl she had just met, what Dianne was sure of, so it was his job to figure it out and she wasn't going to force him to admit something he wasn't ready for.

"You know what?" Dianne said. "Forget that. I thought I had seen something between you two but maybe I was wrong."

Ezra stared at his mother before looking down.

Maybe she wasn't wrong, maybe his mother was quite right, maybe he was starting to fall for Aria. But he had promised her, he had promised her that he would never love her, and Ezra Fitz was a man who kept his promises.

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**I hope you liked this chapter.**

**And, just one more chapter before the one which reveals a big part of what happened. (chap 11)**

** Thank you for reading and please review.**

**xoxo**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you all so much for your reviews.**

* * *

**Chapter ten**

On the first day of school after Christmas break, Ezra walked down the corridors which led to the teachers' room and couldn't help looking for Aria every time he passed next to a group of students. He had spent almost all the holidays at his mother's place where his brother, Wesley, had joined them as well as his aunt and uncle. He hadn't seen Aria in almost two weeks and he had to admit that he missed her and was looking forward to seeing her.

He entered the teachers' room and smiled when he saw Mrs. Welsh, grading some papers at the big table of the room.

He walked up to his colleague and greeted her. "Danielle! How are you?"

To his surprise, Danielle Welsh barely looked up at him and kept grading her papers. "I'm fine, thanks!" She coldly replied.

Ezra raised an eyebrow, astonished by his colleague's reaction as she usually was very lovely and friendly.

"Are you mad at me or something?" Ezra asked her.

Mrs. Welsh looked up at her young colleague and shot him a glance. "I don't know, do I have a reason to be mad?"

Ezra was confused for a few seconds, looking for what had pissed his colleague off and suddenly it hit him. His daughter, Simone! He had never called her back.

"Danielle, if it's about your daughter, I'm sorry," Ezra apologized.

Mrs. Welsh shook her head. "You know; if you didn't like her you didn't have to promise her to call her back!" She snapped at him.

"No, Danielle, it's not that, it's just…" Ezra couldn't help but blush as he remembered why he hadn't called her back; it was the night Aria had come to his place and they had made love for the first time. But that was something he couldn't tell his colleague.

"You have someone else, right?" Mrs. Welsh advanced.

"No…I…" Ezra shuttered, not knowing what to say.

All of a sudden, the door opened and Ian Thomas, followed by some other teachers entered the room. For the first time in his life, Ezra was glad to see the as he interrupted the awkward conversation that he was having with Mrs. Welsh.

"Hello there!" Ian greeted them, smiling widely.

Ezra politely smiled to him before sitting at the table to correct the tests he hadn't done during the break. The first test was Aria's and Ezra smiled as he read the test which, once again, was pretty good. He took his red pen and wrote a big A on the top of the test. He suddenly felt Ian looking behind his shoulder.

"Hum, she's pretty good for a degenerate!" Ian said.

Ezra immediately stopped writing, shocked by Ian's words. Hearing someone talk about Aria this way was unbearable.

He turned over on his chair and looked daggers at Ian. "You must watch what you say!" He snapped at him. "It's a person you're talking about, a seventeen years old girl!"

Ian rolled his eyes which caused Ezra to want to rip them out. "Oh, come on, stop being so moralistic!"

"And you, stop being such a jerk!" Ezra shouted back at Ian.

Ian looked at Ezra, surprised. "What did you just say?"

"I said, stop being such a jerk!" Ezra repeated, irritated.

Ian got closer to Ezra and stood in front of the chair he was sitting in. Ezra immediately stood as well and faced his colleague.

"Why are you so on the defensive all of a sudden?" Ian said, looking at Ezra straight in the eyes. "Why do you even care?" He defied him. "Why is this mad girl so important to you?"

This time it was too much.

Before he knew what he was doing, Ezra grabbed Ian by the collar of his shirt and pressed him against the wall near to them. "I told you to stop saying that!" He shouted at him.

"What the hell is going on here?" The principal, who had just entered the room and found two of his teachers fighting, said.

Ezra released Ian and looked around him. Mrs. Welsh was staring at him with big round eyes as well as the two other teachers who were in the teachers' room.

"Ezra, my office, now!" Mr. Tamborelli coldly said. Ezra and Ian shared a cold glance before Ezra complied and followed the principal up to his office.

The young teacher entered his superior's office and waited for him to close the door behind him. Mr. Tamborelli stood behind his desk, his arms crossed on his chest. "Ezra, can you tell me what's going on?"

"I'm truly sorry but I couldn't let him say what he said, he insulted one of the students!" Ezra informed the principal, as Ian's words resounded in his head.

"Which student?" The older man asked.

"Aria Montgomery!" Ezra told him. "He called her a degenerate!"

The principal sighed and sat at his desk, gesturing toward the chair in front of him for Ezra to sit down. Ezra complied and sat down in front of his superior.

"Look, Ezra," Mr. Tamborelli began. "I will talk to Mr. Thomas about that, but I can tolerate violence in my school, I hope you're aware of that."

Ezra looked down for a moment. He knew that he shouldn't have tried to punch Ian, but the way he had talked of Aria had been unbearable for him and he hadn't been able to control himself.

"I'm sorry," Ezra apologized. "But the way he was talking about her…" Ezra shook his head, unable to find a word which could describe Ian's words.

"Ezra, what he said was mean, I agree with you, but he didn't say it in front of her, I can't control what the teachers say when they aren't teaching," the principal explained.

"But what should have I done?" Ezra insisted. "Nothing and let him talk about Aria this way?"

The principal looked at Ezra and furrowed his brows; the young teacher seemed very affected. He knew that Ezra cared a lot about his students but he had never seen him so affected like he was at this moment, especially when it wasn't the first time that Ian was being rude.

Mr. Tamborelli leant toward Ezra to get closer to him, and this situation reminded Ezra of the day he had asked him to take care of Aria.

"Ezra, I know you like this young girl a lot," he started.

Ezra immediately blushed at these words and looked down. Did the principal know about him and Aria? Was it so obvious?

"But, I do hope you realize that she is a student and nothing more, I know it can be difficult sometimes, trust me, but one of the most important rules when you're a teacher is: no matter how much you like a student, never cross the line, never." Mr. Tamborelli told him with a serious face. "I'm sure you see what I'm talking about."

Ezra nervously rubbed his hands together and cleared his throat. "Yes, of course, Sir."

The principal gave a suspicious look at the young teacher. "You know Ezra, if I'm telling you that it's because I care about you. You're a great teacher, you have your life above your head, don't screw everything up."

Ezra gave a nervous smile to his superior. "Of course, don't worry."

The principal stared at him for a few minutes and finally nodded. "Okay, so, if everything is clear, you can go. You must go home now."

"But I still have a class to teach!" Ezra informed his superior.

Mr. Tamborelli shook his head. "I know, but after what happened, I think you should go home and have some rest. Mrs. Welsh doesn't have any class to teach, I'm sure she will not mind taking yours."

Ezra wanted to contest but after what had happened he couldn't refuse what his superior was asking him to do, so he complied and exited the room.

As he was walking down the corridor, Ezra couldn't help but think about what had happened with Ian. Ian had definitely crossed the line, but he shouldn't have lost control like that. He had never been violent; he had never gotten into a fight, not even if Hight School, moreover, Ian was used to saying nasty comments about the students, so why had he reacted like that when it had come to Aria?

Ezra wasn't sure that he wanted to know the answer, and especially, that he was ready to accept it.

* * *

Aria opened Ezra's building door and started to go upstairs. She hadn't seen him in almost two weeks as he had been spending time with his family which was what she had done too. She had spent a quiet and simple Christmas with her family and everything had gone pretty well. Her mother and her father had seemed to avoid fights, probably not wanting to spoil Christmas for all the family. But it didn't mean that their problems were resolved, it was just a truce but nothing had changed; her mother was still drinking, her brother was still angry, her father still barely speak to her, and she was still dying inside.

She reached her lover's door and knocked on it. A few seconds later Ezra opened the door and a smile spread across his face when he saw her.

"Hey!" He greeted her. "Come in."

Aria came inside, waited for him to close the door and rose on tiptoes to give him a peck on his lips. "Are you alright?" She asked him. "Spencer told me you weren't at school this afternoon, what happened?"

"Nothing, I wasn't feeling well, but I'm better now," he lied. He couldn't tell her what had happened with Ian, he didn't want to have to explain why he had wanted to punch Ian and repeat his horrible words.

Aria seemed to be satisfied by his answer and didn't insist which relieved Ezra.

"Well, I sure know a way to make you feel even better!" Aria seductively said, licking her lips.

"Really?" Ezra said, raising an eyebrow. "What would it be?"

Aria kept smirking as she pressed her mouth on Ezra's neck gently kissing the soft skin in here. Ezra moaned quietly and wrapped his arms around Aria's waist, pressing her flush against him before walking her over to the bed.

An hour later, Ezra put the blanket over their naked and sweaty bodies as Aria raised on her elbow to face Ezra. "So, do you feel better, now?"

Ezra smiled to her. "Yes, I guess you know how to make people feel better!"

Aria smiled and got closer to him before pressing her lips against his. Ezra immediately brushed her bottom lip with his tongue and Aria gladly complied, opening her mouth a little wider to allow him entry. As their kisses were getting hot again, Ezra's house phone rang.

"Let it rings!" Aria said against his mouth.

As they kept kissing each other as if the phone hadn't even rung, the voicemail started and the principal's voice filled the apartment.

'_Ezra, it's principal Tamborelli, about what happened this afternoon, I want to let you know that I talked to Ian, but I meant what I said and I hope you're thinking about that. See you tomorrow.'_

As the voicemail stopped, Aria turned to Ezra and furrowed her brows in confusion. "What was he talking about?" She asked him. "What happened this afternoon? I thought you were sick."

Ezra looked down, uncomfortable. He knew that keep lying to her would be a waste of time. "I lied." He confessed.

"Why? What happened?"

"I had a little fight with Ian," Ezra told her.

Aria scowled at him. "Ian?"

"Mr. Thomas if you prefer," Ezra specified.

"Why?"

Ezra sighed. He didn't want to tell her the reason why he had wanted to punch his colleague. "Because he said something which I think was unacceptable," Ezra explained ,hoping that Aria was going to drop the subject even if, deep down, he perfectly knew that she wasn't going to.

"What did he say?" She asked him.

Ezra ran his fingers through his black hair and looked down, avoiding Aria's look.

"It was about me, wasn't it?" She guessed right.

Ezra couldn't lie anymore so he nodded in affirmation.

Aria looked at him, surprise all over her face. She couldn't believe that he had taken her defense; that he had gotten into a fight for her. She wanted to kiss him, to tell him how happy she was to have him in her life, but then, the realization of what this meant hit her.

"Ezra, you didn't have to do that!" She said, getting up from the bed before collecting her clothes on the floor.

Ezra watched her as she put her clothes back on before walking to the window and crossing her arms on her chest.

"Aria, I couldn't let him say what he said," Ezra insisted.

"Why not? I'm not your girlfriend; you don't have to take my defense." She said, still facing the window.

"It has nothing to do with that, but I care about you and I can't let this jerk talk about you like he did!" Ezra argued.

Aria turned over and looked at him, straight in the eyes. "Nobody is asking you to care about me."

Ezra got up from the bed and stood in front of her. "I hope you're kidding?" He snapped. "It's not something I can control; I do care about you, that's all!"

Aria shook her head as she felt the situation starting to escape her. It wasn't the way things were supposed to be, everything was starting to get out of control. "I better get going!" She coldly said.

Ezra looked at her amazed. He couldn't believe that she was reacting like that. "Aria, please stay!" He told her. "You're not gonna leave for that. This is nothing."

But Aria didn't listen to him and finished putting on her coat. "I'm sorry, I have to go!" She said by making her way to the door, and in one second, she was gone.

Ezra wasn't preparing for the wave of sadness which hit him when he watched her leave his apartment, angry.

Was it over between them? Would she ever come back?

Until now, as he came to the realization that everything between him and Aria could end up that easily, he had never realized how much he cared about her.

It was when Mr. Tamborelli's words came back to him. _'Never cross the line, never!'_

But it was too late for Ezra, he had already crossed the line, he had crossed it the moment he had let Aria come into his apartment the night they had made love for the first time. But what Ezra had forgotten was that there was still one more line to cross, a line that Aria had made promise him to never cross, a line that _he_ had promised her that he would never cross. But this time, for the first time in his life and against his will, Ezra was about to break a promise.

* * *

**Okay, so, this chapter is a little bit shorter than the others but the next one is pretty long and it's the one where a big part of what happened in Aria's life is revealed. **

**So, let's say that if I get 25 reviews or more I will update in the next few days, on Thursday I think.**

**Thanks fort reading and, please, review. Also, I'm sorry for any mistake.**

**xoxo**


	11. Chapter 11

**A big thank you to each one of you for the amazing reviews I got. You are all amazing.**

**As promised, there is chapter 11, the one you have been waiting for.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter eleven**

"Where are you going?" Ella asked her daughter as she was about to exit the house.

"I have an exposé to do with a girl from school, I told her I will meet her tonight," Aria lied to her mother.

The truth was that she was going to see Ezra. Two days had passed since she had left his apartment, angry, and ever since, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about what had happened.

She had overreacted, she did know this. After all, Ezra had told her that he cared about her; he hadn't told her that he was in love with her. She didn't even know why she had reacted like that, but she had felt like the situation was starting to get out of control. What Ezra had done for her had touched her, but when he had started saying that he cared about her, all her fears had come back.

She didn't want this kind of relationship with him, not because he was her teacher, not because she didn't care about him because she did, a lot, more than she could even admit to herself, but because she couldn't let someone care about her. She knew that he would end up hurt and she didn't want this for him. He deserved so much better. But her, she didn't deserve anyone who care about her, not after what she had done.

However, even if she had thought of stop seeing him, she couldn't bring herself to do that. Only two days had passed since she hadn't seen him nor talked to him as she had turned her phone off and hadn't had a class with him, but she was missing him. She needed him in her life, he was actually the one who kept her alive; she couldn't stop seeing him, she just couldn't.

Her mother gave her a suspicious look but nodded. "Alright, don't come back late!"

Aria knew that, her brother and father being outside, there would be no one to prevent her mother from drinking, but this was something she couldn't deal with tonight, so she nodded and left the house, making her way to Ezra's place.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, she was in front of Ezra's apartment. She couldn't help but feel nervous. What if he rejected her? After all, she had acted like a bitch with him.

She took a deep breath and knocked at the door. She heard footsteps inside and, a second later, the door opened, revealing a surprised Ezra.

"Can I come in?" She asked him.

Ezra didn't say anything nor smiled, but stepped to the side, allowing her entry.

They stood face to face, awkwardly looking at each other, no one knowing what to say.

"I'm sorry for the other day!" Aria let out, breaking the heavy silence. "I overreacted," she confessed.

As Ezra didn't say anything, staring at her, Aria took a step closer to him and looked at him straight in the eyes. "Please, forgive me," she begged him.

Ezra kept looking at her without saying anything, mostly because he didn't know what to say. A part of him was angry with her for rejecting him and walking away from him. The only thing he had wanted was to take her defense, and he didn't understand why she had reacted like that.

But another part was very relieved that she had come back to him and it was this second part, which, when Aria asked him a second time to forgive her, took the upper hand.

He crossed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into a hug. Aria closed her eyes and sighed in contentment when Ezra softly kissed the top of her head. She then pulled away a bit and pressed her mouth against his as Ezra parted his lips to allow Aria's tongue to enter his mouth. Their tongues immediately started battling for dominance as Aria walked them over to the bed. They fell onto the mattress and Ezra started placing open-mouthed kisses all along the side of her neck making her moan softly in pleasure. He then gave up her neck and, as he was about to kiss her again, he locked his eyes with hers.

Once again, her beauty surprised him; she was so beautiful, so special. He gently pushed a lock of her hair off her face and brushed his thumb across her cheek, caressing her soft skin. As he was staring into the beautiful hazel eyes which had mesmerized him when she had stepped in his classroom, Ezra realized for the first time, that he had crossed the line and that there was no coming back possible.

"What?" Aria asked him, furrowing her brows in confusion as Ezra kept staring at her.

Ezra sighed and turned his look away from her, unable to keep looking at her, fearing that she could see through him.

Aria straightened on the bed and looked at him. "Are you still mad at me?" She asked him. "I said I was sorry."

"No, I'm not mad at you," he told her, still avoiding her look. And he wasn't lying, he wasn't mad at her, however, he knew that he couldn't keep going on like that, he had made her a promise but he couldn't keep it anymore. He had tried to convince himself that he could, but now, he knew that he wasn't able to.

"So what's wrong?" Aria asked him.

Ezra didn't know what to do, he knew that if he told her how he felt he risked losing her, but he didn't have any other choice, he couldn't pretend anymore.

"I'm not mad at you, but…" he hesitantly began. "I can't keep lying and pretending not to care about you."

Aria softly smiled. "It's okay, Ezra, I told you, I overreacted about it, we care about each other, I guess it's normal."

Ezra sighed, knowing that Aria didn't get what he really was talking about. "But the truth is, Aria, that I don't care about you, I do more than caring about you and I can't keep it for myself any longer," he confessed.

Aria looked at him as her heart started beating faster. "What are you saying?"

She hoped she was wrong and that he wasn't trying to say what she thought he was trying to say. She hoped that he wasn't going to screw everything up. She did know that something could end up so easily, in one action, in one choice, in one night, in one word.

Ezra nervously bit his lip. He knew he couldn't step back, he had to tell her, this little game they were playing had lasted long enough, now, he wasn't playing anymore.

He looked at Aria straight in the eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm saying that I have feelings for you, Aria, deep feelings and… I think... I think that I'm falling in love with you," Ezra finally confessed.

Aria opened one's eyes wide in shock and surprise. She couldn't believe what he was saying; she couldn't believe that he was saying that he loved her. He, Ezra Fitz was saying that he was in love with her. But he couldn't be, she couldn't let him love her.

Her eyes filled up with tears and she shook her head. "You had promised." She softy said, remembering the promise she had wanted him to make during their first night together.

"Aria, that's not something I can control, I don't have any power over my feelings!" Ezra defended himself.

Aria got up from the bed, wiping a tear which was rolling down her cheek. "You can't love me, Ezra!" She sternly said.

Ezra got up as well, faced her and cupped her face in her hands, forcing her to look at him. "Just tell me you don't have feelings for me," he challenged her.

Aria looked at him and bit her lip. She wanted to lie, she knew it was the only solution, he would let her go if she told him that she didn't have feelings for him; but she couldn't bring herself to look at him in the eyes and tell him that she didn't feel anything for him. No matter how hard she had tried to persuade herself that she didn't feel anything for him, she knew it was a lie.

"What I feel doesn't matter; you can't love me, that's all!" She repeated, taking Ezra's hands away from her face.

"But why not?" Ezra insisted.

"Because!" Aria started, her voice trembling. "I told you, I don't deserve to be loved!"

Ezra shook his head. "This is ridiculous, Aria!"

"No, trust me, it's not!" Aria argued.

"Look, I want a real relationship with you." Ezra continued. "Not just a kind of _friends with benefices_ one!"

"A real relationship?" Aria suddenly said, raising her voice. "I'm your student for God's sake! What kind of relationship do you think we can have?"

"I can quit my job at Rosewood high, so we can be together!" Ezra said. Until now, he had never thought about this option, he loved his job, but for Aria, he was ready to leave it if this meant that they could be together.

"You want to leave your job?" Aria said, her eyes filled with tears. "Don't be ridiculous, I don't worth it, trust me, Ezra, I'm not the girl you want to be involved with!"

"Too late for that!" Ezra said, anger perceptible in his voice. "If you didn't want me to be involved with you, so why did you insist on coming in my apartment that night?"

"I don't know… I thought…" Aria tried to say.

"You needed comfort and you thought that I would give you what you were looking for, right?" Ezra interrupted her.

"Look, Ezra…"

But Ezra interrupted her once again. "It has always been about you, right?" He shouted. "But me, what do you do of my feelings?"

Tears started to fall down Aria's face. She didn't know what to say nor do, she did care about his feelings and it was because she did that she had to leave. She grabbed her coat which was on the couch and started putting it on.

Ezra couldn't believe that once again, she was going to walk away from him like she had done a few days ago and anger started to rise inside him.

"What are you gonna do, Aria? Leave again?" He angrily snapped. "You can't keep coming to me for sex every time you feel bad. I'm a person not an object, Aria."

Aria kept struggling with her coat, desperately trying to button it with her trembling hands as the tears kept falling down her face.

"Ezra, stop…" Aria almost begged him in a soft voice.

But he had reached a breaking point and he needed to tell her everything he had kept for himself for a long time.

"No, I won't stop," he said. "I...I love you! Yes, I do! Is it that horrible to hear?"

The words hit Aria like a bullet. For a second, she stopped struggling with her coat and closed her eyes, trying to put herself together, and then, she looked Ezra straight in the eyes. "You wouldn't love me if you knew what I did!"

"But, Aria, I don't care. No matter what you may have done in your past, it doesn't change the way I feel about you!" He honestly told her.

"Stop saying that, you have no idea what I did, what kind of girl I am!" Aria snapped as the tears came faster down her face.

"So tell me, Aria, what kind of girl are you? What did you do that horrible which makes you think that you don't deserve to be loved?" Ezra challenged her.

He was tired of that; he had never insisted on knowing what had happened to her, he knew that some bad things had happened in her life, but he had never really asked questions but now it was high time.

"I can't!" Aria said, tears falling down her face. She couldn't tell him, it was too painful, she couldn't say that out loud, she wasn't ready to talk.

She walked to the door, about to leave.

Ezra shook his head in anger. "You can't? Do you know what I think?" He shouted, anger all over his face. "I think that you're only a coward who is scared that someone can love her, that's all!"

Aria immediately stopped, took a deep breath and turned over to face Ezra. "You think I'm a coward?" She snapped. "But I'm worse than that, Ezra!" She paused a second, she knew that once she would have told him, there would be no coming back. But Ezra needed to know what kind of girl she was, what kind of monster he thought he was in love with.

"I'm a killer!" She yelled between her sobs. "It's what I am!"

Ezra looked at her, confusion and shock all over his face. "What...What are you talking about?"

Aria took a deep breath, trying to control the tears which were streaming down her face, and then, she told out loud the words she had never managed to say clearly because of how horrible, painful but also true they were.

"I killed my best friend!" She said, her voice broken by her sobs.

* * *

A few seconds later, the two of them were sitting on Ezra's couch, the only noise perceptible being Hemingway's soft breathing who was peacefully sleeping on Ezra's bed. Aria was staring vacantly into space as her worst memories were coming to her mind. She had thought of leaving right away, but she couldn't let Ezra with this revelation without explaining anything. She owed him an explanation.

Ezra didn't say anything, watching Aria and waiting for her to do or say something. He didn't know what to expect nor what to think.

"Her name was Alison," Aria finally broke the silence, her eyes still avoiding Ezra's. It had been a while since she hadn't said _her_ name out loud, and it was painful, just saying her name was painful.

"We were best friend since… forever," she said as the picture of the beautiful blond little girl who had come to her in third grade to ask her if she wanted to play with her, came back to her. "This was the kind of friendship when you don't even have to speak to understand the other."

Ezra nodded in understanding, he knew this feeling very well; it was what he felt with Maggie and Hardy.

"She was amazing, so pretty, so funny," Aria said as a sad smile played on her lips. "She sure had her bad sides, she could be really mean when she wanted to, but even the people she was nasty with wanted to be her friend, because it was her, Alison Dilaurentis," Aria continued.

"We spent all our free time together, shopping together, having sleepover; our parents were friends so it wasn't a problem. I can't even remember all the things we did together. She was my best friend and I loved her so much. We had even decided to go to the same college and take an apartment together," Aria said, sadly smiling at the project which would never happen. They had dreamed of that so many times, already picturing themselves living in a beautiful apartment in New York or in California but, because of her, it would never happen.

"What happened?" Ezra softly asked her. He didn't want to pressure her but the curiosity was taking the upper hand.

Aria looked at him and wiped a tear which was rolling down her cheek; she then sighed heavily and took her eyes away from him once again as she began to speak. "It was the summer before our junior year starts. We had spent a wonderful summer, Ali's parents had taken me with them in their house in Florida during two weeks, we had also celebrated my sixteenth birthday and this was the summer when I got my driver's license," Aria said as her hands started to shake. She stopped a few seconds, knowing that she would have to come to the day which had changed her life forever, which had turned it into a living hell.

Ezra didn't pressure her but patiently waited for her to keep going.

"On labor day, Ali and I decided to have a party to celebrate the end of the holidays," Aria started. "She was the best in organizing parties, it was always awesome. We worked on it for days and invited almost all our high school. I remember taking days to choose the dress that I was going to wear. The party took place in Ali's guest house; her parents always let her use it as much as she wanted. It's the place where we smoked a cigarette for the time, the place she used to meet her secret boyfriend…."

"Something went wrong during the party?" Ezra guessed.

Aria shook her head in negation. "Not really. We were having a good time, everyone had come. Who wouldn't come to Alison Dilaurentis's party? Alison's older brother, Jason, had even brought some of his friends from college and they had brought alcohol, a lot. I wasn't used to drinking, I had already had a drink ,of course, but it was very rare, Ali always made fun of me because of that. But that night, I had decided to stop being a "good girl" and to have fun, so I had some drinks. I don't think I drank that much but as I wasn't used to, it was enough. I was supposed to sleep at Ali's house so I didn't have to be scared of being seen drunk by my parents," Aria stopped and Ezra could see the tears starting to fill her eyes once again.

"I don't even remember a lot from this night," she said as a tear escaped her eyes. "I don't even remember spending so much time with Alison, I was dancing with guys from my school and I guess she was doing the same, we barely spoke this night," Aria let out, lost in her painful memories.

" But I remember that Ali came to me as I was dancing with a guy, she interrupted us and insisted that I come with her."

**Rosewood, Labor**** Day a year ago**

_The music was filling the room as the teenagers were dancing, drinking and noisily laughing together . Aria was on the middle of the dance floor, dancing cheerfully as some guys were surrounding her. The alcohol that she had in her system making her bold as she provocatively executed some movements with her thin body __causing the boys to cheer._

_She was young, she was a happy sixteen year old teenage girl, and she wanted to have fun. _

"_Aria!" Alison interrupted her._

_Aria looked up at her friend and smiled. "This party is a total success, Ali !" She said, smiling widely._

"_Come with me, please, I need to show you something!" _

_Aria raised an eyebrow. "Can't it wait, Ali? I'm kind of busy here!" _

_Alison shook her head in negation. "No, please, you really need to see that by yourself! It's important."_

_"Come on, she said she was busy!" One of the guy Aria was dancing with told Alison._

_"Did I even talk to you, asshole?" Alison snapped at the guy._

_Aria looked at her friend, Alison didn't seem right, she could tell that something was wrong. "Are you okay?"_

"_Just come with me, Aria!" Alison insisted, not bothering to answer the question._

_Aria sighed but complied. "Fine!" She then turned to the guys. "I will be right back!" She seductively said._

_She then left the dance floor, staggering slightly as she made her way between the teenagers who were drinking, smoking and having fun._

Aria exhaled sharply, closing her eyes as she was about to tell the most horrible part, the part where a happy teenager's life turned into a nightmare.

Ezra slowly rubbed her back in an attempt to encourage her to continue.

"I didn't even remember what she wanted to show me and what we did between the moment we left the party and the moment we…." She stopped unable to finish her sentence. "The doctors said that it's a kind of post-traumatic effect."

"You mean that you don't have any memory of what you did with Alison after you left the guest house?" Ezra asked her.

Aria shook her head in negation. "No, the last thing I remember is that I took my car, I had drunk and I took the car and Alison came with me!" Aria said, tears now falling down her face. "I still hear her asking me to slow down, telling me that I was driving too fast," Aria said, not even trying to stop the flow of tears cascading her face.

"Aria…" Ezra tried to say.

"The fact is," Aria continued. "I don't even know why we took the car; I was supposed to spend the night at her house, I don't know why I did it, why I took this fucking car. It happened so fast, one second she was telling me to slow down and the next one…. the car left the road and then… ," Aria stopped, her voice trembling. "When I woke up she was already…, gone. I killed her," Aria confessed, guilt and sorrow all over her face.

Ezra gently wiped a tear from her face. "It was an accident, Aria."

Aria turned to him and shook her head in negation. "An accident? I had alcohol in my system, Ezra, and I was driving really fast, it wasn't an accident, it was my fault, my entire fault and you can't say otherwise."

Ezra opened his mouth to say something but he closed it a second later when he realized that there was nothing that he could say. Even if he wanted to tell her that it wasn't her fault, he knew that he would be a lie.

"I went to her funeral, I wasn't supposed to, not after what I had done to her, but I hadn't been able not to, I needed to see her a last time. She was so beautiful, as if she was only sleeping, even in the death, Alison Dilaurentis was gorgeous," Aria said, smiling weakling in spite of her tears.

"The man you saw at the bookstore," Aria told Ezra. "It was her father."

Ezra nodded, now understanding her reaction when she had seen the man and the man's expression when he had talked to him.

"When I came back home this day, I swallowed a whole box of sleeping drugs. I wanted to die; I know it was what I deserved after what I had done. It's why I ended up in a psychiatric hospital. I should have spent a year in jail, but the doctors wanted to keep me. They were too afraid I tried to do it again." Aria explained.

Ezra sighed, closing his eyes as he imagined her trying to kill herself, this thought was unbearable.

"Aria, look at me," he told her, wanting her to look at him in the eyes. "What happened is horrible and I understand why you feel guilty but it doesn't change the way I feel about you," Ezra honestly told her.

Aria looked at him, surprise all over her face. "How could you say that after what I just said to you?"

Ezra gently brushed his thumb against her cheek. He knew that she had done something wrong but he couldn't help loving her. "You did a big mistake but it doesn't mean that you're a bad person."

"A mistake?" Aria repeated. "It's not a mistake! You make a mistake when you cheat on your boyfriend or your girlfriend, not when you take your car being drunk with someone with you. Someone die because of me, my best friend, she was sixteen and because of me she will never get the chance to be graduated, to go to college, to fall in love," she said looking at Ezra straight in the eyes. "I took all these things away from her!"

"I know but…" Ezra tried to say.

Aria interrupted him by placing a finger against his lips. "Ezra, you can't love me. I don't deserve it; you deserve so much better, someone who isn't a mess, someone who could watch herself in a mirror without blushing with shame."

"But you're the one I want! Aria, please, you have to…" Ezra stressed, but once again Aria interrupted him.

She cupped his face between her small and soft hands and looked at him. "Please, Ezra, don't make it more difficult, we can't be together, I'm sorry." At this moment, she could have said back the words he had told her, because she knew she meant them, but then, she knew it would only make things more difficult. She couldn't say that to him and then leave. So, instead, she gently pressed her lips against his, savoring the taste of his lips for the last time before getting up from the couch and making her way to the door, not even bothering to hold back her tears. As she could have stopped and come back to Ezra, she forced herself to remember the worst memory of her life to prove herself that she didn't deserve his love, that she didn't deserve anything.

**Rosewood, Labor**** Day a year ago**

"_Aria, please slow down!" Alison begged her best friend, nervously looking at the road._

_Aria didn't do anything to slow down the car and kept driving, her hands shaking on the wheel and some tears falling down her face._

"_Aria, I know you're upset, but for God's sake, slow down this car!" Alison shouted._

_But Aria, deaf to her best friend's supplications kept pressing her foot on the accelerator as the car went full speed on the road into the dark night. It was as if she wasn't even here, that it wasn't her who was driving the car. Her brain was just disconnected from her body, she couldn't do anything._

_It happened so fast. People are barely aware of this, but it takes one second for the world to fall apart. _

_One second the car was on the road, and the other one it was flipping over before going crashing down in a loud metal noise._

_Long minutes later, Aria slowly opened her eyes and winced at the pain. Her head was aching so badly, it was as if someone was slamming her with a hammer. _

_She didn't even know where she was. She slowly opened her eyes but everything was dark. After a few minutes, her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she turned her head to the right. That was when she saw the thing she knew she would never be able to forget._

She_ was still on her seat, her long blond hair on her face and pieces of the windscreen all over her face. There was blood, a lot of blood._

"_Ali?" Aria softy asked. "Ali, do you hear me? Ali, please, answer me!"_

_But the young girl stayed quiet._

"_No, no, Ali!" Aria panicked, shaking her friend in an attempt to wake her up._

_But deep down, Aria knew that it was over, that life had left the pretty sixteen year old girl and that there wasn't anything someone could do for her._

"_I'm sorry, Ali!" Aria cried, hugging her friend's dead body. "I'm so sorry."_

_At this moment, as she was hugging her best friend's lifeless body against her, the blood soaking her red dress, Aria felt for the first time this overwhelming feeling, this feeling which would destroy her little bit by little bit over the next few months, years, and which would push her to swallow a whole box of medicine, this feeling which can be summed up in one little world: guilt._

* * *

** So, you finally know what happened to Aria. Some of you had already guessed so congratulations :)**

**I had put some clues like the picture that Aria was looking at, in chap 2, and the fact that she said that she didn't drive, or even when Byron told Ella that she should know what alcohol can do.**

**I hope you're not disappointed and that you don't hate Aria (or me ^^). **

**Of course, there is still to find out what Ali wanted to show Aria and why they left with the car, and it will be revealed in a few chapters. Things will make more sense when you know this. I didn't want to reveal all in one time, I think it's better if some things are still unsaid.**

**Please, review, and tell me all your thoughts.**

**As always, I'm sorry for any mistake.**

**xoxo**


	12. Chapter 12

** Ok, so I don't know what happened but I couldn't update this chapter. Fanfiction could be very annoying sometimes lol. So, sorry, if you received several emails to tell you I had updated. I hope it's working now.**

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**Thank you so much for all the reviews I got on chapter 11. Thank you for making me reach 200 reviews :)**

**Also, thank you to the new readers who are now following this story.**

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**Chapter twelve**

Anne Sullivan threw a worried look at her young patient who was sitting in front of her. Aria had never been the happiest person in the world but it seemed to get worst every time she saw her. She had seemed to get a little bit better over the last few weeks, but now she looked terrible. She was really pale and looked extremely tired, and her thick black eyeliner barely hid her puffy and red eyes.

During the first half of the session, Aria had barely answered her questions and had kept looking vacantly into space as if she was lost in her own world, a world that nobody could reach.

Anne Sullivan was worried, very worried; she knew that when a patient started to stop talking it wasn't good, not good at all.

"Aria," Anne began. "Are you sure you don't want to talk to me? And by talking, I mean really talking, not just tell me that everything is fine in your life."

Aria suddenly looked up at her therapist, her eyes filled with tears. "I killed my best friend!" She let out. "Is it what you want to hear from me?"

Anne was taken aback by Aria's confession. She, of course, perfectly knew what had happened but after months without saying anything she was surprised that Aria confessed it in one second. In the five months that they had been meeting, they had never talked about that; they had never even been close to as Aria had seemed to panic every time Anne had tried to talk about her past.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" She asked her patient.

Aria sighed. "What can I say? I killed her, there's nothing to say."

"Don't use this word, Aria," Anne said.

Aria shook her head. "Why? That's the truth. I was drunk and I took the car with her, how do you call that?"

"I know you don't remember everything from that night and I think it's important that we try to work on this," Anne said.

"Why?" Aria argued. "What difference would it make? It won't change anything at what I did! It won't bring Alison back!"

Anne was about to say something when her clock rang, announcing the end of the session.

"Aria, we can take more time if you want, I don't have another patient anyway," Anne proposed to Aria. She had finally opened up to her, after months, and she didn't want to let her go now, especially when she could see what distress the young girl was in.

But Aria shook her head in negation. "No, I have to go home now."

"Are you sure?" Anne insisted. "I do think we should…"

"I have to go!" Aria coldly said, interrupting her doctor as she got up from the black sofa.

Anne sighed but nodded. "Okay then," she complied, shaking her head as she watched her patient leaving her office.

Aria walked to the door, whispered a quick goodbye and exited her doctor's office. She couldn't wait to come back home, that was the only thing that she wanted.

She hadn't planned to talk of Alison with her therapist but she had already told Ezra so, what was the matter?

Why should she keep hiding what she had done? People needed to know what kind of person she was.

It had been a week since she had broken up with Ezra after confessing what she had done to her best friend. He had tried to call her but she hadn't picked up. She had even skipped his class, unable to see him during a whole hour. She had never imagined that it would be so hard. She missed him, a lot. She had tried to persuade herself that it was just sex during all this time, but now she couldn't deny that she had real feelings for him, and it hurt.

But she knew she had made the right decision, he couldn't be happy with her. She was a mess, her life was a mess and she wasn't a good person, she had taken someone else's life, she didn't deserve to be happy with someone, especially not with someone like him.

As she was walking toward the exit to reach the parking lot where her father was supposed to pick her up, she almost bumped into someone.

"I'm sorry, I…"Aria started to apologize.

"Aria?" The woman she had bumped into, said, astonished. "Do you recognize me?"

Aria looked up at the woman and nervously smiled at her. "Of course, Mrs. Fitz."

Ezra's mother smiled widely. "What are you doing here?"

Aria's face immediately fell and she nervously bit her lip.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you that," Dianne apologized, aware that her question was a little bit indiscrete.

"No, it's okay," Aria told her. "Have a nice day!" She quickly added before exiting her therapist's office.

Dianne Fitz made her way to her best friend's office and softly knocked on the door.

Anne opened it and a big smile spread across her face when she spotted her best friend in front of her. "Dianne! What are you doing here?" She said, tenderly hugging her.

"Oh, I was in the neighborhood so I decided to surprise you!" Dianne replied. "I'm not disturbing you, am I?"

Anne shook her head in negation. "Not at all, my last patient just left a few seconds ago."

"Yes, about that, I just bumped into her. I know her, you know."

Anne looked at her friend, astonished. "Really?"

"Yes," Dianne confirmed. "If you want to know, she's the girl I was talking to you about, the one Ezra is dating, even if he doesn't want to admit it," she explained, rolling her eyes.

"What?" Anne scowled at her. "No, you must make a mistake, it's impossible. My patient is seventeen; she's still going to high school; Ezra can't date her. You probably mistake her for someone else."

Dianne swallowed hard. "Are you sure?"

Anne nodded. "Yes, actually it's the young girl I was worried about the other time we met."

Dianne did her best to hide her surprise at Anne's confession. She knew she hadn't mistaken the girl she had just seen, it was the same girl that she had seen in Ezra's apartment a few weeks ago. There was no doubt possible. But she couldn't bring herself to believe that; her son couldn't date a seventeen year girl, he couldn't date a high school student.

"You're right, I probably made a mistake," Dianne replied even if she perfectly knew that she hadn't.

* * *

Frustration spread across Ezra's face when, once again, he heard Aria's voicemail on the other side of the phone. He didn't leave any message and turned his phone off. What would he say that he hadn't already said? He was tired of leaving messages on her voicemail, begging her to call him back and telling her that he loved her.

He had tried to reach her a lot since a couple of days, since she had left his apartment, telling him that they couldn't be together, but she had never picked up and she had even skipped his class. A part of him was missing her, like crazy, he knew that he was in love with her but he hadn't thought that it would be so difficult to be without her. Yet, another part of him was angry with her. He was aware that she had suffered a lot and still did, she was feeling guilty for her best friend's death and he understood that, but he had told her that it didn't matter to him, that he loved her no matter what, and she had left. She had just left and now she didn't even take his calls and was doing her best to avoid him.

A knock on his door suddenly pulled him out of his wistful thoughts; he got up, his heart beating faster at the thought that it could be Aria, that maybe she had changed her mind and had decided to let them a chance to talk, that maybe he was going to have the chance to take her in his arm, to kiss her.

Deception flashed across his face when he saw his mother in front of the door.

"Mom!" He said , unable to hide his deception.

"Not the person you were expecting?" Dianne asked.

Ezra sighed. "No…" he started. "I thought it was…. Hardy."

"Hardy, really?" Her mother scowled at him.

Ezra furrowed his brows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Can I come in? I need to talk to you."

"Sure," Ezra said, stepping to the side to allow her entry.

When Ezra closed the door Dianne stared at her son and furrowed her brows. "You don't look good."

Ezra gave her a weak smile. "Don't worry, I just had a bad night," he said, avoiding eyes contact with her.

"I'm going to make us some coffee," he added, making his way to his kitchen as his mother sat down on the couch.

"You know, I went to Anne's office today," Dianne suddenly said.

"Oh, how is she?" Ezra asked while starting the coffeemaker.

"She's fine," Dianne replied. "Do you know who I saw getting out of his office?"

Ezra shook his head. "No, who?" He asked, pretending to care. Actually he wasn't in the mood for a conversation with his mother and he hoped that she wasn't going to stay long.

"Aria." Dianne let out.

Ezra immediately stopped what he was doing, his heart beating faster at the mention of Aria's name. He knew that Aria was seeing a therapist, she had mentioned it once but it had never crossed his mind that the therapist she was seeing could be Anne Sullivan, his mother's best friend.

"Oh," he said, turning to face his mother, wondering what exactly she knew about Aria.

"Don't you have something to tell me?" Dianne asked.

"Look, Mom…"

Dianne stood up from the couch and looked at him straight in the eyes. "Anne told me that she's seventeen. Seventeen, Ezra!"

Ezra sighed. So she knew. Anne had probably told her that Aria was still going to high school.

"Is she your student?" His mother asked him, asking the question he was dreading.

Ezra knew it was useless to lie, his mother would know that he was lying anyway.

"Yes," he replied in a whisper, looking down.

Dianne opened one's eye wide and sat back down on the couch, shocked.

" Mom, I know what you think," Ezra said.

Anne shook her head and sighed. "Actually I don't even know what to think. I just don't understand how you could get yourself into such a situation."

His mother's sentence reminded him of the one he had told himself when he had first accepted to take care of Aria when the principal had asked him to. Back then, he didn't have a clue how the situation was going to turn; he thought that he would have to deal with a difficult student not that he was going to have an affair with her, and worse, that he was going to fall in love with her. He wondered how it would have been if he had refused this day, if he had told no to Mr. Tamborelli. Maybe he wouldn't feel the way he was feeling now, maybe he wouldn't feel this pain in his chest, maybe he wouldn't be so miserable.

Ezra sat down on the couch, beside his mother and checked his phone once again. He needed to be realistic, Aria had been clear, they couldn't be together; she didn't _want_ them together. He needed to stop fighting, she wasn't going to call him back; she wasn't going to come back, she had made her decision, it was over.

"Mom, you don't have to worry about it anymore..," Ezra started, pain in his voice. "We're over now," he said out loud. And, as he finally accepted the cruel reality with all the unbearable pain which came with, he wished, for the first time since he had met Aria, that he had actually said no to the principal.

* * *

The way back home with her father was quiet, as usual, father and daughter didn't have anything to say to each other.

Aria was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice the glances that her father regularly threw at her while driving.

When they came back home, Aria went straight to her room and lied on her bed. Her phone rang again but she didn't even look at the screen. She knew who it was.

Was he going to stop calling her? Did she really want him to? Why was her life such a mess? But she knew the answer: because a year and a half ago she had gotten drunk and had taken the car with her best friend. She had killed her, she had taken her life away from her, she deserved to live and now she was in a coffin.

Her thoughts went back to Ezra and the tears which had started to fill her eyes began to roll on her pale cheeks.

Why had she involved him in her life? She was the one who had started it the day she had come to his apartment.

When was she going to stop destroying other people's life? She had already destroyed so many people: Alison, Alison's parents,her parents, her brother and now Ezra.

"Aria?"

She turned her head to the door and saw her father, watching her at the doorway, worry all over his face.

"What's going on?" He asked her with concern by entering the room.

She didn't answer, her eyes staring vacantly into space.

Then she straightened up on her bed and looked up at her father. "Dad, do I destroy everything that I touch?"

Byron sighed as he met his daughter's look, this look filled with sadness.

Would it ever go away? Would his daughter be happy again?

He took a few steps toward her and slowly sat down on the side of her bed. "Aria, don't say that," he gently told her.

As he stared at her face soaked with tears, he realized that he had to do something for her. Since a couple of days he hadn't been able to ignore that she seemed to get worse, she barely ate, went straight to her room as soon as school was over and every time he looked at her she was staring vacantly into space, as if she was lost in her own world. He couldn't let her like that, he couldn't take the risk that she tries to hurt herself like she had done the day of Alison's funeral.

"Aria…" he hesitantly began. "I know we haven't really talked since a long time and I'm deeply sorry for that," he honestly told her.

Aria shook her head, wiping her tears away with the sleeve of her sweater. "Dad, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"Yes, I do," Byron said. "I'm sorry I avoided you since… what happened."

"Dad, it's okay," Aria told him. "I know you're angry and I don't blame you. How could you not be angry?"

Byron stared down for a few seconds. He would have wanted to tell her that he wasn't angry, that he didn't blame her but he couldn't, because, the truth was that he was angry. He couldn't understand how such a thing had happened. He had never been an old fashion father; he was aware of the fact that teenagers were having some drinks during the parties they went to, but he had always told Aria to never take the car if she had drunk too much. He and Ella had even told her that if one day she had a problem, that she got drunk, she didn't have to be scared and that she could call them to come pick her up. But despite all these recommendations, the accident had happened. He could never forget the day, when, on the middle of the night, the police had called him to tell him that his daughter had gotten into an accident. At first, he had thought that she was hurt or even dead, but when they had come to the hospital, they had told them that Alison had died in the car crash, the car that _his_ daughter was driving. This is the thing, parents always fear that people can hurt their children, but they never think that their children can hurt the others.

He looked up at his daughter, pain on his face. "I'm trying, Aria, I'm trying not to be angry. I know you blame yourself enough for what had happened to Alison, but… you knew the consequences, so why did do you do that? Why did you take the car that night?

It was the first time he really asked her these questions. He had never talked about that with her. After the accident, he and Ella had had to deal with the police and the consequences and then, a few days later, Aria had tried to kill herself and had been sent to the psychiatric hospital, so they had never gotten the chance to really talk. But if he had to be honest with himself, he had to admit that he had always fear this conversation.

Aria bit her lip as new tears started pooling at the corner of her hazel eyes. Why had she taken the car that night? That was a question she wished she could answer. She perfectly remembered when Alison had asked her to follow her outside because there was something she wanted to show her; she remembered leaving the party with her and then she remembered a part of the way in the car when Alison was asking her to slow down, but between these two moments, she didn't remember anything. While she was in the hospital, her doctors had tried to help her to remember but nothing had worked, there was still a big blank between the moment she had left the party with Alison and the moment they had gotten in the car.

"I wish I could tell you but…I don't remember," Aria confessed, a tear rolling down her cheek. "You know that, Dad."

As her father didn't say anything, Aria opened one's eyes wide. "What? You thought I was lying when I told the police and the doctors that I didn't remember?"

"You really don't remember why you took the car with Alison?"

Aria shook her head in negation. "No, I don't remember; I wasn't supposed to take the car, I knew that you have always told Mike and me to never do that but…I don't know what happened," the young girl said, her voice broken by sobs. "But what I know is that no matter what had happened, this was my fault and nothing could ever change that! I should have been the one to die, not her."

Byron's heart squeezed at these words and his eyes welled up with tears. "Don't say that, Aria, do not ever say that! Do never think that you deserved to die because this is not true!" He said, and, for the first time since the day which had shattered so many lives, he gently wrapped his arms around his teenage daughter and pulled her close against his chest as they both cried into each other's arms.

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A tear rolled down Ella's cheek who had been standing on the stairway and had heard a good part of her daughter and husband's conversation. By being careful of not making any noise, she slowly went downstairs and immediately looked for her purse. When she found it, she removed her cell phone and went outside to make sure that neither Byron nor Aria could hear her. After taking a deep breath, she dialed the number she hadn't called in more than a year but that she still knew by heart.

After two rings, a voice answered. She closed her eyes at the sound of the voice which brought so many memories. Good and bad but now mostly bad.

"It's me, Ella. Please, don't hang up," she begged her interlocutor.

A silence answered her words until her interlocutor eventually talked. _" Ella…What do you want? You shouldn't be calling me."_

"I know, but… we need to talk."

"_About what?"_

_Ella sighed . _"You know about what," she sadly replied.

Once again a silence answered Ella's words._ "Are you talking about…"_ her interlocutor finally said with a voice filled with pain.

"Yes!" Ella said, her own voice broken by the tears that she was desperately trying to hold back. "I can't live with that anymore."

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**So, I know this seems mysterious but don'****t worry you will have the answers to your questions.**

**Also, there wasn't any 'Ezria' scene in this chapter but I promise you that it's the only one.^^**

**Please review and tell me your thoughts, I love hearing from each one of you.**

**xoxo**

**_Esme_: That's quick funny that you mention this movie because I had never watched it until a few weeks ago on TV and when I saw the scene in the car I was like: "God, that's like my story!", but I hadn't even watched it before writing this scene. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks you so so much for your reviews.**

**Also, there were some problems with FanFiction when I uploaded chapter 12, so make sure you read it before reading this one.**

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**Chapter thirteen**

_She walked at a fast pace, tears falling down her cheeks, not bothering of the pain that her high heels were causing to her aching toes._

"_Aria, wait!" Alison called behind her._

_But she didn't turn over as if she hadn't even heard her friend and kept walking._

"_Aria! For God's sake, wait!" _

_But once again, she didn't turn over, her hands shaking as she looked in her bag for her car keys._

"Aria!"

Hanna's voice pulled her out of her slumber and woke her up with a start. She looked around her, confused and it took her a few seconds to realize that she was in her school library.

"Are you alright?" Emily asked her, raising an eyebrow.

Aria nodded. "Yes, I just fell asleep."

The girls sat at the table, around her, and started talking but Aria didn't even pay attention. The nightmare she had just had was still present on her mind. Was it very a nightmare? Most of the time, her nightmares were about the night Alison had died. She relived again and over again the moment she had woken up in the car to see her best friend's lifeless body covered with blood, but she didn't remember the 'scene' she had just seen a few minutes ago in her sleep.

"What about you, Aria?" Hanna asked.

Aria looked at the blond girl and furrowed her brows in confusion. "Sorry, what?"

Hanna rolled her eyes at her. "Your dress? For the charity ball."

The charity ball!

Aria had tried to avoided it, the last thing she wanted was to go to a ball, but it wasn't a prom one it was for a good cause and all the students had to be there as well as the teachers. She knew that Ezra would be there too. They hadn't shared a single word since their 'break-up' but he had stopped calling her. She didn't even know if this was a relief or the opposite. When she had come back to his class, she had expected him to try to talk to her after class but he hadn't done anything and had barely looked at her. She knew she had asked for it, she had told him that they couldn't be together and had never picked up his calls, but it was painful and she was missing him, more than she would have thought.

"I still don't know," Aria answered.

Hanna looked at her scandalized. "Aria, it's in two days!"

"I know, but I will find something, don't worry."

"I can help you if you want!" Hanna offered. "I'm sure you will be amazing with a red dress."

Aria softly smiled to Hanna, but if there was one thing she was sure of, it was that, whatever the color of her dress would be, it would definitely not be red.

* * *

"Ezra?" Someone called behind the young teacher as he was leaving his classroom, books in his hand.

He turned over and a small smile spread across his face when he recognized the woman in front of him. "Simone."

He hadn't seen her since the dinner at her mother's place when he had promised her to call her, a thing that he had never done.

"What are you doing here?" He nervously asked her.

"I'm here to see my mom," she replied.

Ezra nodded. He was feeling really uncomfortable. He knew that he needed to apologize for not calling her back but he didn't know what to say. He was still trying to find the better way to do it when she spoke.

"You never called."

Ezra bit his lip and looked down. "I know," he let out. "I really am sorry, Simone."

Simone shrugged. "It's okay."

Ezra shook his head. "No, it's not okay. I should have called or at least let you know that…" He stopped, not knowing what to say.

"That you weren't interested in me," Simone finished his sentence.

"Simone, this is not that," Ezra wavering slightly, "It's... complicated."

What could he say? That he hadn't called her because the same night, the girl he was fantasizing about and who happened to be his student, had showed up at his apartment and that they had made love?

"Look, Ezra, it doesn't matter, really," Simone affirmed. "I have to go; my mom needs me to help her with some staff for the charity ball."

"Oh yeah, the charity ball," Ezra said. He had to be at this ball as well as all the school even if he didn't really feel like going to.

At this moment he didn't know what pushed him to say what he said then but he definitely did.

"Simone, maybe you could come with me to this ball, it could be the occasion to make it up to you."

Simone looked at him and bit her lip. "You don't owe me anything, Ezra. You don't have to do that."

"No, really, I want to," he insisted.

Simone seemed to hesitate a few minutes and finally complied. "Okay."

"Good. I will pick you up at seven."

Simone softly smiled. "Okay. See you there then," she said before walking to her mother's classroom.

Ezra stayed where he was even after Simone's leaving. He didn't know why he had asked her that and a part of him was already regretting it. Aria immediatly came to his mind. What was she going to think? But then, he came to the conclusion that Aria and him were over, that she didn't want to have anything to do with him and that there was nothing to feel guilty about.

* * *

Aria softly smiled at the man who took her coat as she entered the gymnast where the charity ball took place. She readjusted her black dress which perfectly fit her thin body and stopped at the entry, looking around her. Some couples were already dancing on the dance floor and she could see some of her teachers talking together while watching the students.

If she had listened to herself, she would have left as fast as possible. She hadn't gone to a party since this terrible night which had changed her life forever, and the simple fact of seeing teenagers having fun and drinking made her sick to her stomach. She was one of them that night, she was this girl dancing on the dance floor and drinking as if there was no consequence. If only she had known, if only she could have guessed what was going to happen. But she was a careless teenager, a stupid teenager. Tears started to pool in the corner of her eyes, threatening her mascara that she had carefully applied a few minutes earlier. She was about to renounce, wanting to escape this party which brought so many bad memories when Hanna, Spencer and Emily arrived.

"Wow, Aria!" Hanna said with enthusiasm. "You look gorgeous!"

She bit her lip and smiled to the three girls, trying her best to sound as much enthusiast as possible. "Thank you."

"Come on, let's go have fun!" Hanna said, already making her way inside. Aria followed her; she didn't have a choice anymore, she couldn't just leave like that especially without any good reason.

The four girls made their way among the other students who were cheerfully laughing and dancing as Aria tried to suppress the nausea which was starting to grow inside of her.

"Oh, seems like Mr. Fitz has a date tonight!" Spencer suddenly said, smirking.

At the mention of Ezra, Aria immediately felt her heart biting faster as she turned over to look at the direction that Spencer was pointing to. Ezra was standing at the entry, he was wearing a black suit and a tie, but that wasn't what caught Aria's attention the most: he had his arm wrapped around a tall blond girl.

"Yeah," Hanna said. "She's pretty cute!"

Aria couldn't help the feeling of jealousy which ran through her as she watched him, making his way into the gymnast, whispering something to the girl who was smiling widely. As he was getting closer to the girls and her, his look caught hers and they stared at each other for a few seconds.

Ezra did his best to keep composure as his eyes met the hazel ones that he loved so much. He couldn't help noticing how beautiful she was in her black dress. He swallowed hard and squeezed Simone's arm in an attempt to control himself.

Aria bit hard on her lip when she felt tears filling her eyes at the view of Ezra squeezing the blond girl's arm. She immediately broke eye contact with him and turned over, wanting to escape them as quick as possible.

The evening seemed to last forever for Aria. As she thought that she was already there for hours, she noticed, when she glanced at her watch, that barely an hour had gone by. She was trying her best to enjoy the evening even if it felt like hell. She tried to take interest in what the girls were talking about but her mind was always somewhere else. Even though she didn't want to, she couldn't help but regularly throw some glances at Ezra and _his date_, and every time she saw them laughing together, her heart squeezed.

She didn't want to feel this way; she had asked for it. What had she hoped for? That he would keep begging her to come back to him? She knew she had no right to be jealous, but she couldn't help herself, seeing him with someone else was painful.

As she was pouring herself a glass of orange juice, she heard someone clear his throat behind her. She turned over to face Ezra who was looking at her.

"So, are you enjoying the evening?" He asked her while taking two drinks. It was almost the first time he spoke to her since their 'break-up' a few weeks ago.

Aria nodded. "Sure." She replied. "What about you? Where is your…_date_?"

She hadn't meant to, but she had said the last word with a hint of irony.

A thrill of satisfaction ran through Ezra when he noticed that Aria was visibly upset with seeing him with Simone. The realization of why he had asked Simone to go with him hit him. He wanted to hurt Aria; he wanted her to see him with someone else to hurt her like she had done to him when she had simply decided that they couldn't be together.

"She's in the bathroom," he replied. "She's Mrs. Welsh's daughter, you know."

Aria forced a smile. "Hum, really?"

Ezra nodded. "Yes, she's really nice."

"I bet she is," Aria said. "And she's pretty."

Ezra nodded. Yes, Simone was pretty, but not as much as Aria. Especially tonight. She was stunning with the black little dress that she was wearing and her long dark hair flowing down her naked shoulders. He let out a soft breath when he imagined how it would feel to push her long locks aside to kiss the soft skin of her neck. He couldn't understand how it was possible that even when he was angry with her like he was, he could want her that much. The effect she had on him was overwhelming and he wondered if it would ever stop.

"I'd better get going," Aria said, pulling Ezra out of his fantasizes.

"Aria, wait!" Ezra stopped her, gently grabbing her arm. He then looked around him but nobody seemed to pay attention to them. He stared into her sad hazel eyes and sighed. "Aria, you know I wouldn't be here with Simone if…"

"If what, Ezra?" Aria asked him.

Ezra shook his head. "You know what I'm talking about, Aria; you know that you just have one word to say and everything could be different," he told her, looking intensely into her eyes. She was so beautiful, he wanted to kiss her so badly, the desire he had for her was almost painful. If he had listened to himself, to his body, to his heart, he would have taken her to the bathroom to kiss her as hard as he could. He wanted so badly to touch her, to take her in his arms.

Aria did her best to hold back the tears which threatened to escape her eyes and swallowed hard. If only things could be different, but it was impossible. She knew she could tell him the words he wanted her to say because she meant them, she wanted nothing more than telling him what he was asking for, but she couldn't. If she did, Ezra would be involved in her life, her messy life, and she couldn't do that; she couldn't do that to him.

"You should go back to your date," she said, biting the inside of her cheeks to prevent herself from crying. "Have a good evening," she told him before walking away from him.

* * *

"Do you want to dance?" Simone asked Ezra as he was sitting on a chair, looking vacantly into space, still thinking of his brief conversation with Aria.

He looked up at the young woman and nodded. "Sure."

A large smile spread across Mrs. Welsh's daughter's face and she took Ezra's hand to bring him on the dance floor. Ezra hesitantly wrapped his arms around Simone's waist as a new song started to fill the gymnast.

_You tell all the boys no  
Makes you feel good, yeah  
I know you're out of my league  
But that won't scare me away oh no  
You've carried on so long  
You couldn't stop if you tried it  
You've built your wall so high  
That no one could climb it  
But I'm gonna try  
_

As Ezra was listening to the song, Simone's hands around his neck, he started thinking of Aria and how this song was true in her case. She didn't want to let anybody come in her life, she had built walls all around her heart, impassable walls. He knew she was feeling guilty for what had happened to her best friend, but she couldn't spend the rest of her life pushing away everyone who wanted to be close to her. He wondered if she would ever let someone entered her life, and especially, if this person would be him.

As he felt Simone tightening her arms around his neck, pressing her body closer to him, he suddenly wished that it was Aria instead of her. He wished that it was her that he was dancing with, that he could hug her and bury his face in her neck as they danced. He wanted so badly to believe in this, that, for a moment, he practically did and tightened his arms even harder around Simone.

"If it keeps going on like this, Mr. Fitz will have Mrs. Welsh for mother in law!" Hanna chuckled.

Aria looked at the couple dancing on the dance floor and her heart squeezed as she watched Simone wrapping her arms around Ezra's neck.

The jealousy she had tried so hard to contain hit her like a bullet and her eyes immediately welled up with tears. She wished it was her in Ezra's arms, she wished it was her that he was hugging.

"They make a great couple," Emily said, unaware of the pain that she was causing to Aria.

Despite her jealousy and her pain, Aria couldn't help but agree. They actually made a great couple. With a girl like Mrs. Welsh's daughter, Ezra could be happy. She was what he needed, what he deserved: a normal girl without a messy life and a dark past.

When she saw Ezra tightening his arms around the blond girl's body, it was too much for her. She couldn't stand it any longer.

"Girls, I'm not feeling well," she told the girls. "I need to get some air outside."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Hanna offered.

Aria shook her head in negation. "No, don't worry, I will be fine," she said before leaving them before one of the girls could add something.

She knew she couldn't leave the charity ball as the principal was at the entry and would see her, so she walked to the door which led to the gymnast roof and started to go upstairs.

The cold air of this February evening hit her as she opened the door and stepped on the gymnast roof. She wrapped her arms around her body, trying to warm herself up as she breathed heavily. The tears she had held back all night finally rolled down her cheeks as she walked to the edge of the roof.

This evening had been a total disaster, and she suddenly realized that it would always be like this. It wasn't as if she was suffering from some kind of disease that she could recover from, she could never feel better because Alison was dead and nothing could ever change that. She would always feel this way, she would never be able to go a party, to get out with friends without feeling guilty, and she would never be able to be with the person she wanted to be with because she knew she didn't deserve it.

What was her life going to look like? Always going to sleep wishing to wake up years ago to change the past? Always avoiding people? What was the point? Wouldn't she be better 'somewhere else?

She slowly leant forward and looked below. The distance wasn't that high but enough to kill someone. She knew that, this time, there would be no chance that she could make it out alive. This time nobody would find her in time and bring her to the hospital like her father had done the day of Alison's funeral. It would be so simple, so quick, she bet she wouldn't even feel anything; just like that, she could put an end to everything.

She hadn't felt in this terrible state since she had gotten out of the hospital; she had sworn to herself that she would never try to kill herself again because of her parents and her brother, she hadn't even thought about it when she had stepped on the roof, but now this was so tempting.

She leant forward even more, looking at the concreted floor. It was so easy; she would just have to let herself fall and everything would be over. Just like that, in one second.

A tear rolled down her cheek as she climbed on the wall, determinate to finish what she had started in her bathroom a year ago.

* * *

**First, I want to thank Lauren FF for giving me the idea of the song: _Beneath your beautiful by Emily Sande._**

** Also, someone asked me how many chapters there would be, so, I'm not sure yet, I'm currently writing chapter 16, so I would say around 20.**

** And I know, what a mean cliffhanger! But if I get 25 reviews or more, I will update in three days so please reviews.**

**xoxo**


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you so much for all the reviews on the previous chapter, it really means a lot to me.**

* * *

**Chapter fourteen**

Simone warmly smiled at Ezra as they pulled away at the end of the song, putting an end to Ezra's daydream and making him realize who he had really been dancing with. He smiled too but his eyes immediately looked for Aria. He spotted her friends, talking together near him but she was nowhere to be seen.

"Is everything okay?" Simone asked him.

Ezra absently nodded in affirmation as his look wandered all over the room, still looking for Aria. He didn't even know why he was looking for her, she had been really clear when they had talked a few minutes earlier, but he suddenly felt the urge to see her and to talk to her.

"Look, Simone, there's something I need to do, I will be right back," he told his partner, and before Simone could say something, he left her on the dance floor and made his way toward Hanna, Spencer and Emily.

"Excuse me, girls," he addressed them. "Have you seen Aria?"

The three girls gave him an astonished look, probably wondering why their English teacher wanted to see their friend. "Yes, she wasn't feeling well so she went outside," Hanna answered.

"Actually," Emily added. "It has been a while; maybe we should go check on her."

"Don't worry, I'm going," Ezra told the girls before making his way to the entry.

He walked up the entry where the principal was, carefully watching the students.

"Ezra!" The older man greeted him. "Are you enjoying the evening?"

Ezra nodded. "Yes, actually I'm looking for a student, did anyone leave?"

"No," the principal answered. "Who are you looking for?"

Ezra was about to answer when he realized that it wouldn't be in his best interest. The principal already had some suspicions about his relationship with Aria and he didn't want to make it worse.

"Actually I'm seeing her over there," he lied pointing to a group of students.

He quickly left the principal and decided to check in the bathroom, coming to the conclusion that if she wasn't feeling well, it was the place where she would have gone to.

He stopped at the girl's bathroom entry and called Aria's name out loud but nobody answered. When he came back to the girls and noticed that Aria hadn't come back yet, he started to get nervous. He couldn't tell why, but he could feel that something wasn't right. He knew that she couldn't have left the charity ball, so there was only one place where she could be. He immediately opened the door which led to the roof and went upstairs.

When he stepped on the roof, he wasn't prepared for what he saw then. Aria was on the wall, looking above her, which left no doubt of what she was on the point to do.

"Aria, what the hell are you doing?" Ezra yelled, shocked.

He immediately regretted saying that out loud as she seemed to lose her balance for a short second before regaining it, causing Ezra to let out a sigh of relief.

She turned over and looked at him, panicked. Her tears had dragged mascara all over her face and some tears were still running down her cheeks.

Ezra suddenly realized how stupid he had been. He had been so busy trying to make her jealous that he had almost forgotten what she had told him a few weeks ago, and what this party could mean to her. It probably brought so many bad memories from the night her best friend had died. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have been so selfish? He knew that she had already tried to hurt herself, why had he assumed that she would not do this again?

"Just…" Aria started to stay between her tears. "Just go away, Ezra."

Ezra shook his head in negation. "Aria, there's no way I leave while you're standing on this wall. Just get down and we will talk, okay?" He pleadingly asked her.

Aria didn't do anything and stayed on the wall without moving. He slowly got closer to her,trying not to scare her.

"Aria, please, get down off this wall!" Ezra begged her. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I need to pay for what I did!" She answered him, crying and still looking right in front of her as if she was still considering jumping.

"But you're gonna die!" Ezra panicked.

Aria turned over and looked at him. At this moment, all Ezra could see in her big hazel eyes was pain and sadness; there had always been so much sadness in her eyes, but tonight it was worse, it was as if it was the only thing she was feeling.

"Isn't it what I deserve?" She then said in a soft voice.

"Don't say that!" Ezra told her. "There are people who care about you, people who will be devastated if you do that. Have you thought of your family? Don't do this to them, Aria. Don't do this to me!"

He couldn't even imagine what it would be like if she jumped. He knew it could never get over it, he couldn't lose her.

"Aria, please," he begged her, feeling the tears starting to fill his eyes. He hadn't cried since his father's death when he was fourteen, not even when Jackie had left him. But now, as the girl he loved was standing on a wall, about to kill herself, he couldn't help himself and some tears fell on his cheeks.

"Aria, don't do this to me, I love you!"

Aria's heart squeezed even more when she heard Ezra's voice broken by the tears that she knew were running down his cheeks. She closed her eyes and exhaled sharply. She couldn't do this to him, she loved him too much for that. She couldn't destroy another life.

She turned over and looked at Ezra before getting down off the wall causing Ezra to breath out a big sigh of relief.

He walked to her and stopped a few meters away from her, not knowing what to do. The only thing he wanted was to hug her as tight as possible, but he knew that she was in a very emotional state and he didn't want to do anything to scare her.

But she was the one to get closer to him and to wrap her arms around him. "I'm sorry," she whispered between her sobs. "I'm so sorry."

Ezra hugged her tight against him as she cried.

"I'm sorry; I didn't want to do that!" She kept sobbing. "I swear, I didn't want to do that, I just..."

"Shh, it's okay," he softly told her as he pressed a soft kiss on the top of her head.

Ezra held her during long minutes, until her sobs stop and her breath goes back to a normal pace. After what had just happened, he didn't want to let go of her, he wanted to hug her as thigh as he could, but he knew that they would have to go back upstairs eventually.

"Come on, I'm going to bring you home," he whispered softly in her ear.

But Aria didn't make any move and kept holding on Ezra as he softly kissed the top of her head.

"What the hell is going on here?" A voice suddenly resounded. Aria and Ezra immediately jumped apart and looked at the door where the principal was standing, surprise all over his face as his look went from Ezra to the young crying girl in front of him.

"Mr. Tamborelli…" Ezra shuttered. "What are you doing here?"

"What am_ I_ doing here?" The principal said. "What are _you _two doing here? A student just came to me, panicked, to tell me that she saw a girl standing on the roof, about to jump!"

Aria and Ezra shared a worried look.

"Mr. Tamborelli, everybody's fine," Ezra told the principal. "I'm going to take Aria back home."

Mr. Tamborelli shook his head in negation. "No! You're not going anywhere. I'm calling her parents immediately."

"No, please!" Aria begged him. The last thing she wanted was for her parents to learn that she had tried to kill herself again. She didn't want to do this to them once again. She looked at Ezra pleadingly, silently begging him to do something.

Ezra got closer to the principal, letting Aria behind him. "Mr. Tamborelli, Aria's fine, she just needs to go home, please let me take care of her."

The principal threw a look at the young girl whose eyes were red and puffy. "She doesn't look fine. It's not our call, Ezra; we need to call her parents!"

"Please, don't do that. It's the last thing she needs," Ezra argued.

"I really think you have crossed the line with this student, Ezra!" The principal snapped.

Ezra sighed. He didn't want to have this conversation right now, not while Aria was standing a few meters away from them, freezing. "We can talk about that tomorrow if you want, but please, for now, let me take her home. Please, I will make sure she's safe, I promise."

The principal sighed and looked at Aria once again before nodding. "Fine!" He finally complied. "But don't think that this conversation is over. I want to see you in my office tomorrow," he sternly said.

"I will be there, I promise," Ezra complied. The principal threw a last look at Ezra and Aria before going downstairs, shaking his head.

"Are you going to be in troubles?" Aria asked him, worried.

"Don't worry about that," Ezra reassured her, after what had just happened he didn't want her to get more stress. "Come on, I'm going to bring you home."

He wrapped an arm around her small shoulders and they left the roof to go downstairs. Ezra waited for the last moment before removing his arm from Aria's shoulders and discreetly told her, "Wait for me on the parking lot, I will be right back."

Aria nodded as Ezra came back to the party in order to find his date. He couldn't leave like that without saying anything. He spotted her a few meters above him, talking with her mother.

"Ezra!" She said when she saw him. "Where were you? I looked for you everywhere!"

Ezra nervously bit his lip, not knowing what to say. "Look, Simone, I really am sorry, but I need to go."

The smile which was playing on Simone's lips instantly vanished. "Why?"

"It's…" Ezra shuttered. "A personal matter, I'm sorry."

"Oh!" Simone let out. "Is there a problem?"

Ezra nodded, feeling more and more uncomfortable. "Yes, kind of, it's why I really need to go."

"Okay, I understand," Mrs. Welsh's daughter said. "I will call you, okay?"

Ezra looked down for a second. He knew he had to be honest with Simone, even if it made him sound like a jerk. He had no intention of seeing her again; going with her to the charity ball had been a mistake, he shouldn't have invited her in the first place.

"Simone," he hesitantly started. "I'm sorry, I like you, you're great but… there's someone else."

The blond girl opened one's eye wide. "What?"

"I did a big mistake by inviting you tonight, I shouldn't have to. I'm really sorry, but… this other girl, I have deep feelings for her and…"

"Don't waste your time!" Simone sternly interrupted him. "I got it!" She then threw him an angry look and left him to join her mother. As Ezra made his way to the exit to join Aria, he knew that he could tell goodbye to his friendship with Mrs. Welsh.

* * *

Ezra parked his car a few meters away from Aria's house as she had asked him to, not wanting to have to explain to her parents why her teacher was taking her back home. He stopped the car and turned to Aria who had been quiet all the way. "Well, there we are."

Aria looked up at him and they stared into each other's eyes for a quick second before suddenly leaning toward one another at the exact same time. Aria's mouth crashed down against Ezra's as he cupped her face between his hands, their tongues immediately battling for dominance in a passionate kiss.

They both desperately needed this; that was actually the only thing they needed at that moment.

Ezra gave up her mouth and let his lips move down to her neck, softly kissing her soft skin, making a shiver run through Aria's petite body. He then slowly went back up to her face and kissed her cheeks, tasting the salt that her tears had left on her pale skin, then her nose and her eyes, making her moan softly. He then pressed a last kiss on her mouth before resting his forehead against hers. They stayed like this for a few seconds, their eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of their closeness as Ezra gently brushed Aria's cheek with his thumb. If he had listened to himself, he would have taken her to his apartment and made love to her all night long, it was the only thing he wanted, but he knew it was impossible.

"Ezra, I'm so sorry," Aria finally broke the silence.

Ezra pulled a bit away from her and looked into her eyes. "Just promise me you will _never_ do this again."

Aria nodded. It wasn't the first time that she was making this promise, but Ezra should know that some promises were very hard to keep.

"Yes, I promise. But I wasn't only talking about tonight. I'm sorry for the way I treated you, I'm sorry for leaving you and never picking up your calls. I know I hurt you."

Ezra didn't say otherwise, she had hurt him, he had been angry with her for the way she had acted, but after what had just happened this night, it seemed less important. He had almost lost her; he didn't even want to think about what could have happened if he hadn't shown up on the roof.

"I guess, we both have things to be sorry for. I shouldn't have come with Simone tonight, I was angry with you and I guess that I wanted to hurt you, but it was a mistake," he confessed. "I have been so selfish, you already went through so much and I just…I'm so sorry."

Aria softly smiled, brushing her thumb against his cheek. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who pushed you to do this and…I would never prevent you from being happy. Mrs. Welsh's daughter seems great, she could make you happy."

Ezra sighed and took Aria's hands in his. "Yes, but she's not the girl I want and you know this. All the evening I wished I was with you, I wished it was you I was dancing with, you I was holding in my arms.

Aria weakly smiled to him as they both looked into each other's eyes. "I felt the same way."

Ezra smiled at her as he replaced one of her long lock behind her ear.

She then turned her look away from him, like every time she started opening up a little bit to him, as if there was still one barrier she didn't allow herself to cross.

"Ezra, nothing changed, my life is still a mess and I don't want to drag..."

But Ezra gently pressed a finger on her lips. "Look, let's not talk about it tonight, it has been a difficult evening and you need to get some rest. But please, come over after school tomorrow. Please?"

Aria nodded. "Okay, I will come."

She then leant forward and pressed a soft kiss on his lips before exiting his car and making her way to her house.

* * *

"Can I take your order?" The young waitress asked the middle-aged woman sitting at the table on the corner.

Ella looked up at her and nodded. "Yes, a vodka, please."

She knew she shouldn't be drinking, but she needed a drink, especially now.

As she waited for her drink, she nervously glanced at her watch and her anxiety grew up when she realized that it was almost time. She didn't want to do that, she didn't want to have this conversation but she had to, she couldn't keep going on like that without doing anything.

She thanked the waitress when she carefully put the glass of vodka in front of her and immediately brought the liquid to her lips.

The door of the small café suddenly opened, and her heart started beating faster when she saw the person who had just entered. She took a deep breath, trying to build her courage as she felt her hands shaking around her glass.

She watched him a few seconds before waving at him, letting him know where she was.

He sat down in front of her and they nervously looked at each other. It had been a while since they hadn't seen each other and being so close to him after all this time felt weird and almost painful.

"Thanks for meeting me," Ella said in a soft voice.

The man sighed. "I shouldn't even be here."

Ella nodded. "I know. But I really need to talk to you."

He didn't say anything and looked at Ella, waiting for her to talk. She didn't even know what to say and she almost regretted calling him. Maybe it was a bad idea, maybe nothing good would ever come from that, but she needed to do that, not for her, but for one of the person she loved the most: her daughter.

"Look, Aria is bad; it's getting worse every day and…"

"What make you think I care?" He brutally interrupted her.

"Don't do this, please," Ella begged. "She's my daughter," she said, her eyes filled with tears. "She's a total mess, I'm scared for her, I'm scared she will never be able to get over it, I'm scared she…" She stopped unable to finish her sentence.

"To get over it?" The man said in a harsh voice. "Do you think it's what she should do? Just forget about what happened?" He snapped.

"No, of course not, but she can't live like that for the rest of her life!" Ella argued.

The man shook his head. "She has what she deserved!"

"Don't say that!" Ella sternly said. "You perfectly know that she's not the only responsible for what happened that night!" She paused a few seconds as she wipe a tear which was rolling down her cheek before letting out. "And I'm going to tell her the truth!

* * *

**So, what do you think?**

**Please tell me your thoughts and please review.**

**I'm sorry for any mistake.**

**Xoxo**


	15. Chapter 15

**Okay, so I'm so so sorry, for the wait, I know the last time I updated was more than two weeks ago, so I'm sorry. I'm in the UK for a month, for a training that I do with my school, and I'm really really busy. I thought I would have more time to work on my story, but I don't, and, on the weekends, I visit London of course(which is an amazing city!)**

**So please, forgive me, and I hope you will love this chapter and that it will make it up to you. Also, thank you so much for all your reviews on the last chapter, you are the best.**

* * *

**Chapter fifteen**

Ezra exhaled sharply, trying to control the flux of anxiety which was running through him as he was about to knock on the principal's office. He was dreading the conversation that he knew he would have to have with the principal, but after what had happened on the night of the charity ball, he couldn't escape this conversation.

He finally brought himself to knock on the door and his heart immediately beat faster when he heard the principal's harsh voice through the door, telling him to come in.

When he stepped in Mr. Tamborelli's office, the older man didn't smile like he used to and merely gestured toward the seat in front of his desk for Ezra to sit down.

As soon as Ezra sat, the principal wasted no time. "You know why you're here, Ezra, don't you?"

Ezra nodded. "Yes, sir. But for my defense, about what happened the other night, Aria really needed to go home, she was upset and…"

"Ezra," the principal cut him off. "I don't want to talk about what happened the other night."

Ezra looked at him, confused. "So what do you want to talk about?"

"I just want you to answer one question and I want you to be honest with me," Mr. Tamborelli said, causing Ezra to be even more nervous.

"What is exactly the nature of your relationship with miss Aria Montgomery?"

As soon as the question escaped the principal's mouth, Ezra looked down, and sighed. He considered lying for a few seconds, but finally came to the conclusion that it would be useless. When he had started sleeping with Aria, he had thought that everything could stay hidden and it probably would have been the case if he hadn't fell in love with her. He would have just stopped seeing her as soon as someone would have questioned their relationship and everything would have been just fine. But now, everything was different, everything was out of control, he had no longer control over his feelings, and lying to the principal would be useless. There would be other questions; other doubts because he couldn't stop caring about her, he couldn't stop seeing her and he couldn't stop loving her.

He looked up at the man who used to be his father's friend and said out loud the words he would have never imagined saying in front of him. "I'm in love with her."

The principal opened one's eye wide as soon as the words fell from the young teacher's lips. He had secretly hoped that Ezra was going to tell him that he liked the girl but that nothing was going on between them. He had never imagine that he would confirm his suspicions.

"Are you really aware of what you're saying?"

Ezra sadly nodded. "Yes."

The principal shook his head as anger and deception flashed across his face. "I can't believe you're looking at me in the eyes, telling me that you're in love with a student. I trusted you, Ezra. I asked you to take care of her because I trusted you, and you totally took advantage of the situation."

"I know you're disappointed and that what I did is wrong…"

"She's a kid Ezra!" The principal snapped. "She's a sick and fragile emotional girl!"

Ezra perfectly knew what the principal was implying. He was accusing him of taking advantage of Aria's fragility but he couldn't let him think that.

"Mr. Tamborelli," Ezra started, looking at the older man straight in the eyes. "I know this is inappropriate, but you have to trust me on this point, I'm not taking advantage of her, and I will _never_ do something to hurt her. I…I love her."

The principal inhaled and ran his hands in his hair. He then looked at Ezra and shook his head. "Look, Ezra, the only reason why I don't call the police is because of your father. He was a dear friend of mine and I could never forgive myself if I sent his son to jail. But to be clear, you're no longer a teacher in this school. I want you to grab your things and leave the school as soon as possible."

Ezra sadly nodded, knowing that there was nothing to do or say. The day the principal had asked him to come to his office to talk about Aria came back to his mind. He was scared of getting fired and now it was really happening. But despite of everything, and even if he didn't even know what kind of relationship they had or even if they had one, he couldn't regret knowing her. Never.

"Goodbye Mr. Tamborelli," he whispered before exiting the office of the man who was no longer his superior.

As soon as Ezra left, Mr. Tamborelli opened his drawer where the students' folders were and carefully took one out. He opened it and once he had found the number he was looking for, he took his phone before dialing the number.

"Mrs. Montgomery, it's principal Tamborelli," he introduced himself to his student's mother. "I really need to talk to you about Aria."

* * *

Right after her last period, Aria made her way to Ezra's apartment. She was nervous about the conversation she knew they were going to have. She was totally lost, she didn't know what she really wanted; or yes she did know what she wanted. She wanted Ezra, she wanted to be with him, she wanted to have a real relationship with him and be able to tell him that she loved him, but she didn't know if she could do that, if it was right for her to have that. He had told her that she was the one who would make him happy but she wasn't so sure about that. How could she make someone happy while she was herself such a mess?

When she was with him, she was happy, he made her feel good, he made her feel alive and it was what scared her the most. Did she still have the right to be happy after what she had done to Alison? Did she deserve it?

It was with all these questions running in her head that she knocked on Ezra's apartment door. He opened the door a few seconds later, smiling softy at her. She entered his apartment and couldn't help smiling when she looked around her. She had missed his place, the place which had become a shelter for her over the next few months.

Suddenly, Hemingway, who was sleeping, jumped from the couch when he saw Aria, and immediately came to her, rubbing against her legs. Aria giggled and bent forward to pet the ginger cat.

"I think he has missed you," Ezra said.

Aria smiled as she kept petting the cat. "Oh, I've missed you too, Hem!"

"And he isn't the only one," Ezra suddenly said.

Aria looked up at him and bit her lip as they both kept quiet, looking at each other.

"I'm glad you came," Ezra broke the awkward silence. "Do you want something to drink?"

Aria shook her head in negation and sat down on the couch. They nervously looked at each other once again and as Aria was about to start Ezra spoke.

"Aria, there's something I need to tell you," Ezra began. He had no choice but tell her about what had happened on the morning, and he wanted to do it as soon as possible. That wasn't something he could hide from her anyway, it was just a matter of time before everyone knows about him getting fired.

Aria frowned. "Is everything okay?" She immediately worried.

Ezra sighed and sat down on the couch beside her. "I had a discussion with the principal this morning."

"About me, right?" She asked, nervously biting her lip. "How did it go?"

Ezra looked down for a moment before confessing what had happened. "I got fired."

Aria's face immediately fell as she opened one's eye wide. "What? No, that's impossible, I'm going to talk to him, I'm going to tell him that there's nothing going on between us and…"

"Aria!" Ezra cut her off. "It would be useless, I told him the truth."

"What?" Aria said, surprise all over her face. "You told him that we were sleeping together?" She panicked.

Ezra shook his head in negation. "Not exactly, but I told him that…that I was in love with you."

Aria looked at Ezra, frozen, and not believing what he had just said. "What? Why did you do that? Why didn't you lie?"

"Aria, I didn't want to lie, it would have been useless, there would have been other questions," Ezra replied.

"But you lost your job!" The young girl argued.

"Look, Aria…" Ezra tried to say.

"I knew I was going to ruin your life," she said, getting up from the couch as tears filled her eyes. She couldn't believe that she had made him lose his job. Would it ever stop? Would she ever stop destroying people's life?

Ezra got up as well and stood right in front of her. "Aria, don't say that, that's not true!"

Aria furiously shook her head as she moved her hands in the air. "But don't you see it?" She snapped. "I'm a poison; I destroy everything that I touch. The worse thing that ever happened to you is meeting me! You would be so much better without me, with a girl like Simone and you…

"You can be really selfish sometimes, Aria!" Ezra shouted, interrupting her, causing Aria to look at him in disbelief. _"_You can't just go around deciding how things are supposed to work. You don't get to choose how I feel!"

He took a step closer to her and gently grabbed hold of both of her cheeks between his hands. "Don't you see it? Are you that blind, Aria?" He asked her looking straight into her hazel eyes. "Don't you see that I love you like crazy? Don't you see that I don't give a shit about my job as long as I can be with you? Don't you see that all I want is to be with you, to love you, to make love to you?"

Aria swallowed hard at Ezra's words as her heart swelled. She couldn't believe that after all the things she had done she had gotten the chance to be loved by someone like him. She couldn't believe that he still loved her after all she had done to him and after what he had lost because of her.

She wanted so badly to tell him the words which were burning her lips but there was still this invisible barrier which prevented her from completely opening up to him.

Instead, she gently caressed his cheek with the back of her hand as she looked at him with her eyes glossy from unshed tears, hoping that her eyes would tell him what her mouth couldn't.

She then slowly pressed her lips against his as he wrapped his arms around her waist, deepening the kiss. While looking at him, she unbuttoned his shirt before pressing kisses on his chest as he slid his fingers through her long silk locks. Still kissing deeply, they walked to the bed where Ezra carefully settled her on the mattress before popping up on his elbows above her. He delicately pulled her shirt over her head and started trailing kisses from her jaw to her breast as she moaned.

He then slowly unzipped her skirt and helped her to wiggle out of her underwear as she did the same with his pants.

She bit her lip as he kissed her stomach, making his way up to her mouth, causing her to shiver at every light kisses he pressed on her bare skin. His mouth on her skin was the best feeling she had ever experimented and she had missed it so much.

It was so different from the other times they had made love, it used to be passionate and rush, this time it was so gentle, slow. They had missed each other so much, they needed it so badly.

Ezra not only wanted to make love to her, he wanted to show her how much he loved her, how much he needed her, in every way possible.

He reached out and intertwined his finger with hers as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

They locked their eyes together and, as Ezra was about to kiss her again, she stopped him.

"Wait," she suddenly said like she had done the first time they had made love, when she had made him do a promise that he hadn't been able to keep.

She looked at him right in the eyes as she brushed her thumb along his face. She wanted him so much, not just in a sexual way but she wanted everything of him. She had fought it so hard but now she couldn't anymore. What she felt for him was overwhelming. She did know what an overwhelming feeling was and could do, it was what she felt every day with her guilt, but what she felt for Ezra was the opposite, it wasn't pushing her toward death, it was pushing her toward life.

As he stared into her big hazel eyes, Ezra wondered what she was going to say and he couldn't help but worry. Some possibilities popped in his head but he wasn't prepared for the words which fell from her lips.

"I love you, Ezra," she said in a whisper as tears filled her eyes.

Ezra opened one's eyes wide, taken aback by Aria's words. Never would have he thought that it would feel so good to hear them. A small smile played on his lips as he brushed his thumb under her eye to wipe a tear which was starting to roll on her cheek.

"I love you too, Aria," he replied before kissing her deeply. "So much."

* * *

Ella poured herself another glass of wine and brought it to her lips.

After the call from the principal, it was all she had been able to do, drinking and crying. She wasn't even afraid of being found drunk by her husband or Mike. She didn't care. It was what had kept her alive since what had happened. The worse was, her family had no idea why she was drinking like that, they all thing that she was desperate because of what Aria had done. If only they knew. If only they knew that it wasn't because of what Aria had done but because of what _she_ had done. What she had done to her own daughter what she had done to…

The door suddenly slammed, pulling her out of her thoughts. She didn't even bother of hiding her glass of wine; she needed it before what she was on the point to do.

"Mom?" Aria said when she stepped into the kitchen, discovering her mother with a glass of wine in her hand and tears all over her face. "What's going on?"

Ella took a deep breath and looked up at her daughter. "The principal called me."

Ella saw the panic starting to distort her daughter's features as she nervously twisted her hands. "Mom, let me explain."

"I can't believe you…" Ella started, avoiding her daughter's eyes.

Aria started to feel the panic grew up inside her. What if her parents called the police? What would happen to Ezra?

"Mom… I love him," she merely said. What could she said anyway? That was all she had to say.

Her mother immediately furrowed her brows in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Aria scowled at her mother, astonished. "What did the principal tell you?"

"He told me about the charity ball," her mother started, as tears rolled down her cheeks. "He told me what you were about to do."

Aria looked down. So the principal hadn't told her mother about Ezra, he had told her that she had wanted to kill herself once again, and she didn't even know what was worse. She didn't know if she had preferred that her mother knows that she was having an affair with her teacher or if she had tried to commit suicide once again.

"Mom…"

"Why did you do that, Aria?" Ella asked her daughter, pain in her voice. "You had promised that you would never do this again."

Ella couldn't tell if she was angry with her daughter or not. But she had no right to be angry, not after what she had done to her.

Aria swallowed hard as a tear rolled down her cheek. "Because I wanted it to stop."

"What?" Ella asked.

"The guilt!" Aria let out as more tears escaped her eyes. "I can't live with that anymore, Mom. It's eating away at my soul!"

Ella looked at her child, pain all over her face. She did know what her daughter meant, she did know this awful feeling because she was feeling it, she was feeling it every single day, every single second, since what had happened. It was why she had started drinking, because she wanted it to go away, but she now knew that there wasn't some miracle cure against guilt.

"Aria, you will have to forgive yourself, eventually!" Ella told her daughter.

Aria shook her head. "I can't!" she shouted between her sobs. "I killed my best friend; I can't forgive myself for that."

"Aria…"

"If I did that at the charity ball, it was because I knew that it was what I deserved, I should have died in this accident!" She interrupted her mother.

"Stop, Aria!" Ella said, crying. "Don't say that!"

"But, it's true, Mom!"

"No, it's not!" Ella suddenly yelled. "It wasn't your fault that night!"

She then paused a second before looking right into her daughter's eyes. "It was mine!" She confessed, tear streaming down her face.

Aria looked at her mother, confusion all over her face. "What…What are you talking about?"

Ella took her head in her hands and closed her eyes trying to regain composure before looking up at her daughter. "It was my fault if you took the car that night."

* * *

**What do you think?**

**I'm sure you all recognize that line from 1X10^^**

**I didn't want to update before I finish the next chapter, but, as some people were begging me to update, I did. The next chapter is almost done but I still need to work on it so I will do my best to update as soon as I can. Probably next week. And the next chapter reveals EVERYTHING that happened. I promise.**

**Please review, your reviews make me really happy, and once again I'm sorry.**

**I'm also sorry for any mistake.**

**Xoxo**


	16. Chapter 16

**I'm really sorry for the wait.**

**Here is the chapter which reveals everything (finally)!**

**Enjoy**

* * *

_"The guilty one is not the one who commits the sin, but the one who causes the darkness."_

* * *

**Chapter sixteen**

Aria stood in front of her mother who was still sitting at the kitchen table, avoiding her daughter's look.

She didn't even know what was happening; she didn't know what her mother was talking about. Why was she saying that?

"Mom, what are you talking about?" She asked her. "Why are you saying that?"

Ella inhaled sharply and brushed the sleeve of her sweater all over her face in attempt to wipe her tears, dragging mascara down her cheeks in the process.

"You don't have any memory of what happened that night, do you?" Ella asked her daughter.

Aria shook her head in negation. "No! And you know that, Mom."

Ella sadly nodded. Yes, she did know that, now.

"I have always thought that you were lying," she confessed.

Aria looked at her mom, confusion all over her face. "Why would I do that?"

Ella didn't reply immediately and looked down for a while. "I thought you were doing it for me," she let out. "I thought that you had decided to keep it for yourself but …the other day I overheard you while you were talking with your father, and I realized that you weren't pretending, that you had no idea of what had happened that night. I'm so sorry, honey."

"Sorry for what?" Aria asked, totally lost. "You know what happened that night?"

Ella calmly nodded. "Yes, I do."

Aria looked at her mother in disbelief. What she was saying made no sense. How could her mother know what had happened?

"But…" Aria shuttered. "That's impossible, you weren't even here."

Ella shook her head in negation as she sadly looked at her daughter. "You're wrong, I was there that night."

"What? But…" Aria stopped, not even knowing what to say. Was it real? Was she really having this conversation with her mother?

The young girl took a few steps toward the table and sat down on a chair in front of her mother.

"Mom, what happened that night?" She softly asked her, her voice trembling. "I need to understand."

Ella bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears which were filling her eyes and reached out for the bottle of wine.

"Mom, no!" Aria grabbed her mother's hand to prevent her from pouring herself another glass of alcohol.

But Ella gently pushed her daughter's arm away. "No. I need it," she sternly said. "I won't be able to tell you what I have to tell you if I don't do this."

Aria sighed but complied, and watched as her mother filled her glass with the red liquid before bringing it to her lips.

She took a few sips, building the courage she needed as the alcohol invaded her system before absently looking at the inside of her drink . She had no choice, she needed to tell her the truth, she needed to confessed everything.

She finally looked up at Aria and started talking. "When your father started his new job at Hollis two years ago, he began to work really hard and was barely home," Ella confessed. "You and your brother were starting to grow up and were spending a lot of time with your friends; which is perfectly normal."

Aria didn't interrupted her mother even if she had no idea where her was mother was going to.

"I started feeling lonely, your father always came back home late from work and I even thought that he was having an affair."

"What?" Aria said, shocked. "Did Dad cheat on you?"

Ella sadly shook her head in negation. "No. Things have proved that I was wrong. But I felt so lonely, so bad. I loved your father, don't get me wrong, but, sometimes, I just wished my life was different."

Aria couldn't hide her surprise at her mother's confession. Before the accident, her mother had always seemed to be a cheerful person and she had no idea that she was feeling this way.

"I didn't know," she let out.

"Well, that's not something you can discus with your children," Ella replied.

"But, Mom, I don't know what all of this has to do with what happened to Alison," Aria said, wondering why her mother was telling her all about her marriage problems.

Ella took another sip of her drink.

It had actually everything to do with what had happened.

She took a deep breath and keep talking, "I don't know if you remember, but Alison's parents had troubles too."

Aria nodded. She remembered that Alison was worried about that. She had confided in her about her parents' fights and was fearing a divorce. She even thought that her father was having an affair.

"Yes, I remember, Ali had told me about that."

Once again, Ella brought her glass of wine to her lips, avoiding Aria's look.

"As I said, it was a bad period for me and I guessed that I was looking for comfort and…Kenneth was here for me."

Aria furrowed her brows, not knowing who her mother was talking about, until it hit her. "Kenneth like…Alison's father?"

Ella sadly nodded.

"What do you mean he was here for you?" Aria asked.

Ella's eyes welled up with tears again a she began to speak. "The fact is, your father didn't cheat on me, but… I did."

The words hit Aria like a bullet. She couldn't believe what her mother was saying. " You mean...You and… Alison's dad?"

She couldn't believe what she was currently hearing; she had never gotten suspicious about any of it, never. Alison always made fun of her and told her that she was too naïve, and she was probably right. She had never even had doubts.

But how could she have guessed that her mother was having an affair with her best friend's father?

"Yes," Ella shamefully confirmed. "We knew it was wrong, but at the moment…I don't know…I needed him. We knew people would end up hurt but I guess not at this point," she said, tears now falling down her cheeks.

"What do you mean?" Aria asked her mother.

"It shouldn't have happened like that, I didn't know you were going to come to the house …" Ella trailed off. "If only I could go back to that night."

"Mom, what happened that night?" Aria asked, her heart beating faster.

Ella sighed and looked at her daughter, not even bothering of wiping her tears away. "You caught me with him that night."

Memory is a strange and complex thing. It can erase an event for days, months, years and no matter what you do to try to remember, you fail. And just like this, in one second, with a simple sentence everything comes back to you as clear as if it had happened the day before.

_**Rosewood, On Labor Day, a year ago**_

"_So, what's the matter, Ali?"__ Aria asked Alison, annoyed, as they left the guests' house. _

_Alison didn't answer and keep walking at a fast pace._

"_Seriously Ali, if it's one of your stupid jokes again, it's not funny!" Aria complained. "I was having a good time in here!" _

"_I promise you that it's not!" Alison replied with a serious face._

"So w_hat is it, Ali?" Aria insisted. _

_Alison looked at Aria and bit her lip. "I…" but she stopped and sighed. "You need to see that by yourself. If I tell you, you won't believe me."_

_Aria sighed in frustration but followed her best friend up to her house. The young blond girl slowly opened the door and entered her place. _

"_Don't make any noise," she warned her by stepping to the side to allow her entry. Aria gave a questionable look to her friend before entering the Dilaurentis' house._

_There was no one in the house, but Aria noticed two glasses of wine on the table, probably forgotten here by Alison's parents._

"_So, what are we doing here?" Aria whispered._

"_You will see," Alison replied in a whisper as she started going upstairs, pressing her index on her lips in an attempt to warn Aria to keep quiet. Aria rolled her eyes and followed Alison on tiptoes. _

_Everything was dark upstairs but a slight ray of light was lightening the corridor and Aria quickly noticed that the light was coming from Alison's parents' room._

_All of a sudden, a soft woman's giggle resounded in the corridor._

"_I thought your mother was at your grandma's place," Aria told Alison, remembering what her friend had told her in the afternoon._

"_She is," the blond girl replied._

_Aria furrowed her brows in confusion. "But, then, who is that with your father?" _

_Alison looked at Aria with a strange expression that the petite brunette wasn't able to read. "You should go seeby yourself!" _

_As the girls got closer, some groans escaped the room letting no doubts of what the people were doing or about to do. _

"_Are you insane? I won't get in here!" Aria whispered._

"I think you really need to_!" Alison insisted. _

_Aria shook her head in negation. "Look, Ali, I'm sorry if your father is cheating on your mother but I won't step into the room while he…" She said with a grimace. "Plus, why do you want me to see that? It's none of my business! We should leave."_

"_I think it is!" Alison argued. "If you don't want to open this door, I will do it for you!"_

_Aria shook her head. "That's getting ridiculous, Ali, I'm leaving!"_

_But before she could do anything or say anything, Alison took her by the arm up to her parents' room and opened the door in a quick move pushing Aria below her so she could stare at the people right in front of her._

_Aria was about to apologize when she opened one eye's wide. She stayed paralyzed on the doorway, winking a few times to make sure that she wasn't dreaming and that what was in front of her was real. _

"_Mom…" She let out in a whisper. "No..." she said, tears filling her hazel eyes._

_In front of her was her mother almost naked in the bed with Alison's father, both of them mortified._

"_Oh, my God, Aria!" Ella said, panicked, getting up from the bed, quickly wrapping something around her. "Let me explain…"_

_But Aria immediately closed the door and rushed upstairs._

Aria stayed still, paralyzed by the force of the memory which had just hit her. Her mother with Alison's father? She couldn't believe it, how was it even possible? How could she have erased this from her memory? She had always thought that what had happened that night wasn't important, that she was just too drunk to remember anything, but never would she had thought that she could have witnessed something that important.

"Aria…." Ella said in a whisper.

Aria didn't even move, staring vacantly into space. She couldn't make up her mind, it was just too much, too much to handle.

"I tried to stop you from leaving that night, you were so upset, I didn't want you to leave like that but…"

"But I did," Aria finished her mother's sentence. "I took the car and Ali died."

"I'm so sorry, honey," Ella said, her voice broken by the pain. "I know it was my fault."

The young girl didn't even look at her mother and kept staring vacantly into space.

"Aria, please, say something," Ella begged her daughter.

"I need to go," she suddenly said.

She needed to get out of here, she couldn't think nor do anything, the only thing she wanted was to leave the house.

She wasn't thinking straight when she grab her mother's keys in the process, she hadn't driven since this terrible night, but at the moment she just wanted to escape the house as fast as possible.

When Ella heard the noise of the car starting it was already too late, and, when she rushed outside, the car was already gone.

Aria started driving , not even knowing where she was going as the last and painful part that she had erased from her memory came back to her.

_ **Rosewood, on Labor day, a year ago**_

_She left Alison's house and walked at a fast pace to her car, tears falling down her cheeks, not bothering of the pain that her high heels were causing to her aching toes._

"_Aria, wait!" Alison called behind her._

_But she didn't even turn over as if she hadn't even heard her friend and kept walking._

"_Aria! For God's sake, wait!" _

_But once again, she didn't turn over, her hands shaking as she looked in her bag for her car keys. She needed to leave this place; she needed to get out of this place as soon as possible. She didn't want to face her mother; she just couldn't look at her anymore, not after what she had done to her father, to her. She finally found her keys and tried to open the car with her trembling hands._

"_Aria, stop!" Alison said, grabbing her arm in an attempt to stop her._

_Aria violently took her arm away from Alison's hand. "Why did you want me to see that?" She yelled at her between her tears._

"_Because you needed to know!" Alison replied._

_Aria shook her head with rage. "And you thought that seeing my mother having sex with your father was a good idea?"_

"_No, I…"_

"_How long do you know?" Aria interrupted her._

"_I didn't know, Aria, I swear!" Alison said. "I had doubts but that was all! I just saw them tonight when I came to the house to get something!"_

"_And you haven't told me about your doubts?" Aria shouted. "You're my best friend for God's sake!"_

_Alison shook her head. "Look, Aria, I'm sorry but it affects me just as much as you and…"_

_"I need to leave!" Aria interrupted her._

_It was just a matter of seconds before her mother goes after her and the last thing she wanted was to face her._

_But Alison stopped her. "No, Aria, you can't, you have drunk too much!"_

"_I don't care, let me go!" Aria said by settling herself behind the wheel._

"_Then_ _I'm coming with you!" Alison suddenly said._

_Aria shook her head in negation. "No, you're not. I want to be alone!"_

_But Alison didn't listen and sat down in the car beside Aria._

"_Alison, get out, you're not coming with me!" Aria argued._

_"Aria..."_

"_Ali, get the hell out of this car!" Aria shouted once again._

_As Alison didn't make a move, Aria looked at her straight in her eyes. "Alison, please, don't come with me!" She begged her in a softer tone. She wasnt' even angry with her anymore, she just wanted to be alone. She didn't want her to come, she didn't know why but she didn't want her to be with her, she knew she shouldn't come with her._

_But if there was something that Alison Dilaurentis wasn't used to, was not getting what she wanted._

"_I'm coming, Aria!" _

_As Aria opened her mouth to argue again; the porch lighted up and Ella, followed by Alison's father, got out of the house and ran toward the car._

"_Shit!" Aria swore. She looked at Alison who was visibly not going to move and shook her head._

"_Fine!" She complied before turning the key and pressing her foot hard on the accelerator as her car took off and went full sprint on the road, the two girls unaware of what was going to happen a few minutes later._

People always think that two horrible things can happen two times, but they are wrong. Just because you go through something horrible once, doesn't mean it can't happen again.

And Aria should have known that.

Like the first time, she was so lost in her mind, so lost in her painful memories that she didn't even realize that she was driving so fast. Like the first time, her brain was disconnected from her body. Like the first time, it happened so fast and she lost the control of the car as it came crashing down in a loud metallic noise, just like that night.

But this time, Aria was the one who got hit and whose blood soaked the dress.

Contrary to the day in her bathroom or on the roof a few days ago, Aria hadn't even wanted to die, she hadn't done that on purpose, but maybe that this time, she was finally going to get what she wanted and what she thought she deserved.

* * *

**First, thank you, guys, so much for all your reviews, I can't believe I reached 300 reviews. It really means a lot to me, so a massive thank you .**

**So you finally know everything. **

**I had put some clues all along the story, like the fact that Ella was drinking, of course, but also in the flashback when Aria received the dress she's going to wear for the party, I had said that Ella was acting weird when Aria asked her where she was going.**

**So I hope you like it, and sorry again for the wait. I'm back in France, I had a very very great time in the UK and I met amazing people.**

**Please review.**

**xoxo**


	17. Chapter 17

**I'm sorry it took me some time to update.**

**Thank you so much for all your really kind reviews on chapter 16.**

* * *

**Chapter seventeen**

"_Do you wanna play with me?" The cute blond little girl asked as seven-year old Aria nodded, smiling widely. _

"_Me, Alison Dilaurentis, swear to be your best friend," nine-year old Alison said to her best friend as Aria smiled warmly at her._

"_You turn, now, you have to say it!" Alison excitedly said._

"_Me, Aria Montgomery, swear to be your best friend," Aria said in a solemn tone._

_The two little girls then exchanged a bracelet where their two names were written on it. They helped each other to wrap the bracelets around their tiny wrists and looked at each other in the eyes before saying at the same time. "Until death do us part!"_

Memories swirled through her head as the car kept flipping over. The good ones came first : the day she had met Alison and that she had asked her to play with her in the playground, the day they had decided to be best friend when they were nine.

But then, the dark ones took the upper hand.

"_Aria, for God's sake, slowdown that car!" The blond girl desperately begged her._

"_Ali, please, wake up!" Aria cried, holding her best friend's lifeless body against her._

"_But don't you see it?" She snapped. "I'm a poison; I destroy everything that I touch. The worse thing that ever happened to you is meeting me!" She shouted at Ezra, tears falling down her face._

"_I will never forgive you for what you did," Alison's father told her, looking at her straight in the eyes. "You didn't even deserve to be here; you're the one who should be in there!" He said pointing at the coffin. "Go to hell!"_

As the car finally stopped, the memories did too, but the last one stayed on the young girl's mind as the blood started soaking her dress. Mr. Dilaurentis had been right; she should have been the one to die that night. She had tried to fix it, twice, and she had failed, but, tonight, she was finally going to get what she really deserved.

That was the last thought that played on her mind as Aria lost consciousness.

* * *

When Hemingway jumped on his bed, trying to wake Ezra up, the young teacher groaned and looked at his clock. He was about to panic, thinking that he was late when what had happened the day before came back to his mind. He didn't have to get up to go to Rosewood high because he was no longer a teacher there.

But as he came to this realization, the second part of the day came back to him as well and a small smile played on his lips. He couldn't believe that Aria had told him that she loved him. After all this time, she had finally opened up to him.

He took his phone on his nightstand, looked at the screen and a slight deception ran through him when he noticed that Aria hadn't answered the text he had sent her the night before to wish her goodnight.

He knew that she had told him that she loved him too, but he couldn't help but worry that she had changed her mind; he knew that, with Aria, he must take nothing for granted.

He did know that nothing would be easy between them. Just because he wasn't her teacher anymore didn't mean that they were going to be able to leave like a normal couple. Moreover, Aria was still Aria. She was still the young broken girl who had stepped in his class months ago. She was still the girl who thought she deserved to die because she was responsible for her best friend's death. He knew that their relationship wasn't going to be easy but he was willing to do everything possible to make it work between them, because he knew he truly loved her.

Ezra got up from his bed, poured his cat's dish with food before quickly dressed. He had to come back to Rosewood high to take back some of his stuff that he hadn't been able to take with him the day before. He didn't really want to as he knew that his colleagues would ask questions, but the sooner he would do it, the sooner he would be free.

When he arrived at Rosewood high, he couldn't help but feel a slight nostalgia at the thought that he would never teach here again. He smiled at some of his students who greeted him when he passed next to them as he made his way up to the teachers' room.

To his relief, there was no one in the room so he quickly opened his locker and took all of the things that he had left out of it. As he was about to exit, Mr. Tamborelli entered the room.

"I'm just here to take back some of my stuff," Ezra immediately said.

The principal simply nodded and looked at him awkwardly. "I'm just surprised to see you here under the circumstances."

His voice wasn't harsh and he didn't seem mad like Ezra had expected him to be.

"As I said, I just need to take my things back, don't worry, I'm not staying, you have been perfectly clear yesterday," Ezra calmly replied.

"Look, Ezra," Mr. Tamborelli started. "I'm really sorry about what happened. I know you really care about her and, even if I do think that this whole thing is very inappropriate, what's happening is really sad."

Ezra furrowed his brows in confusion. "I'm sorry, but… what are you talking about?"

The principal opened one's eye wide and suddenly looked really uncomfortable. "I thought you knew."

"Knew what?" Ezra asked.

Mr. Tamborelli bit his lip as he nervously rubbed his hands together. "Mrs. Montgomery called me this morning, something happened and her daughter… Aria is… in the hospital," he finally let out.

Ezra stayed still, not believing what he was hearing.

"No…" He said, his voice trembling. "I saw her yesterday, she was fine, you must make a mistake."

A look of sadness crossed the principal's face as he gently shook his head. "I'm sorry I thought you knew. Her mother told me that she was in a coma."

So that had happened. How could he have been so stupid and thought that she wasn't going to do it again? Once again she had tried to kill herself; once again she had wanted to die. He should have seen it, he had seen her the day before and he hadn't even realized. Was it the reason why she had told him that she loved him? Was it a kind of goodbye? Why had he thought that she would keep the promise she had made to him? He should have known better than anyone else that some promises were very hard to keep.

"I need to see her!" was all Ezra said before rushing toward the door.

The principal grabbed his arm, preventing him from leaving. "Don't be ridiculous, Ezra, her whole family is probably here. There can be consequences for you, really bad consequences."

Ezra shook his head. "I need to see her, I can't ….I can't stay away!" He said as he fought the tears which had started filling his eyes.

He then freed his arm from the principal's arm and quickly exited the room.

* * *

"Mr and Mrs. Montgomery?" The surgeon said causing Ella and Byron to get up.

The couple nervously looked at the doctor, both of them remembering the day when they had been in the same situation, when Aria had tried to kill herself after Alison's funeral.

"She's going to be fine," the doctor finally let out.

A loud sigh of relief escaped both Ella and Byron's lips.

"She has many contusions and a little concussion but we took care of it and her life is not in danger anymore. She got really lucky!" The doctor added.

Byron took a step closer to the doctor and gave him a handshake. "Thank you, doctor. Thank you so much. Can we see her?"

The doctor nodded in affirmation. "Of course. She's not completely awake but you can see her."

Byron started following the doctor but stopped when he noticed that his wife wasn't following him.

"Ella?" He asked. "Are you coming?"

Ella bit her lip and shook her head. "You should go first. She's probably really tired and I think it's better if we're not going both at the same time."

Byron shook his head. "Don't be ridiculous, you're her mother, not a friend."

"I know but… go first, I'll join you after," Ella insisted.

Byron looked at his wife strangely before complying and following the doctor.

As soon as Byron left, Ella took her head in her hands as some hot tears started falling down her cheeks.

She had lied to Byron, the only reason why she didn't go see Aria was because she couldn't face her, not after what she had done to her. She knew that she should be with her daughter right now, supporting her, but she couldn't; not after what had happened.

It was her fault, once again. If Aria had taken the car it was because she had finally confessed what role she had played in Alison's death. She was the one who had destroyed her family. She had played with fire and she was now paying the price.

She had never imagined that she would be the kind of woman who cheats on her husband. But isn't it what all women think? Don't they all think: _'I will never be this kind of person?' _

She had everything to be happy: a husband, two lovely children, a beautiful house and a job that she loved but yet she wasn't happy and_ this _had happened.

When she had slept with Kenneth Dilaurentis for the time, she had felt guilty and she had promised herself that it would not happen again, but it had happened again and over again. She knew it was wrong and that she was playing with fire but, at the time, she hadn't been able to stop seeing him. She would have wanted to say that he meant nothing to her, that he was just a distraction, but it would have been a lie. The truth was that she had had feelings for him.

_**Rosewood, a year ago, on Labor Day. **_

"_Aria!" Ella desperately yelled as the car disappeared in the night._

"_Oh my God!" She sobbed, as the panick took possession of her. _

_What had just happened? It couldn't be real; her daughter couldn't have caught her with her lover. What had she done? Why had she been so careless?_

_Kenneth Dilaurentis put his arm on Ella's shoulder in an attempt of comfort. "Ella, calm down…"_

"_We totally messed up!" Ella snapped, her tears now falling down her cheeks._

"_Ella, please don't cry, it's going to be alright," her lover tried to comfort her._

"_Alright?" Ella shouted. "Our daughters have just caught us together, Kenneth! It's a total disaster!" _

_Kenneth sighed and bit his lip. "Look, Ella, I know it's bad and it wasn't the way I wanted my daughter and Aria to know about us but…maybe it's an opportunity to finally come clean."_

_Ella furrowed her brows. "What do you mean?"_

"_I don't want to hide anymore," Kenneth said. "I'm going to leave my wife, we don't love each other anymore, I'm staying only for the kids and I know that you're not happy with Byron either."_

_Ella looked at him in disbelief, not sure of what he was implying. "What are you saying?" _

_Once again, Kenneth sighed before looking at Ella straight in the eyes. "I'm saying that…I want to be with you, Ella. I'm sure we can be happy together._

_Ella took a step away from him and shook her head. "But have you thought of the kids? Aria, Mike Jason and Alison?"_

_Kenneth nodded in affirmation. "Of course I'm thinking of them! I know it will probably be difficult but I'm sure it can work. They will understand."_

"_No," Ella sternly said. "I don't think they will!" She knew that there was no way that her children understand that she was leaving their father for her lover who happened to be Aria's best friend's father._

_Kenneth took a step closer to her and cupped her face in his hands. "Look, Ella. I know it's a touchy situation but…I don't want to lose you. It has been a long time since I felt what I feel for you right now." He then paused and took a deep breath before letting his thumb run along Ella's cheek._

"_I think I'm in love with you," he finally confessed._

_Ella opened one's eye wide in front of her lover's confession. She had never imagined that their relationship would involve feelings. She had never thought about what she really felt for him, she hadn't allowed herself to, but now, as he was saying that he loved her, she realized that she did have feelings for him too._

_For a moment, she thought about what he was saying. For a moment, she pictured herself leaving Byron to live with Kenneth. For a moment she imagined what her life could be like if she made this decision. That wasn't an easy decision to make, it would be hard for a lot of people, including her daughter but yet, Ella couldn't help considering it._

_What she would have done? Ella would never know because, all of a sudden, Kenneth's phone rang, interrupting them._

_She watched as Kenneth answered the call and as his face got pale as the seconds progressed._

"_What's wrong?" She asked, her face full of worry when he hung up._

"_It was the police…" Kenneth shuttered. "They said that… they said that my daughter had gotten into a car accident!"_

_Just like that, in one second, their world turned upside down and Ella never got the chance to make a decision. She never got the chance to make up her mind about her feelings for her lover and, since this moment, __the only feeling that Ella felt was guilt._

Ella wiped another tear away from her face as she remembered that tragic night. She would never forget this moment. They hadn't even told Kenneth that Alison was dead on the phone. She had come with him to the hospital, fearing that Aria was hurt to. She still remembered the look full of pity on the doctor's face when Kenneth had asked for his daughter, she had immediately understood.

Then they had told her that Aria was alright and also that she was the driver. She hadn't even been angry with her daughter; the only person she was angry with was herself. The doctors had led her up to her and she had felt a shock when she had seen her. She hadn't even entered the room and had watched her through the glass.

She was looking vacantly into space, her arms wrapped around her body. Her dress was covered with blood, Alison's blood. The doctors had told her that she had refused to get rid of it, as if she was still hugging her best friend against her. They had also told her that she was alright but Ella knew that she wasn't. How could she be alright when her best friend had just died in the car that she was driving? She knew that she wasn't okay and that she would never be okay again. She hadn't opened the door; she couldn't face her after what she had done. She had waited until Byron came; she had told him that the police had called her on her cell phone while she was with Sydney, her friend and colleague at the gallery.

She had wanted to speak to Kenneth, to tell him how sorry she was, to comfort him but his wife and Jason, Alison's brother, had come and she had let them crying together over Alison's death. She wasn't anything to him after all; at this moment, she was only the mother of the girl who had killed his only daughter.

After this night, she had never talked to him again. She knew that whatever had been between them, it had ended up at the second his phone had rung, announcing him the tragic event.

"_I'm sorry…I'm looking for Aria Montgomery_," Ella suddenly heard someone asked the receptionist behind her, pulling her out of her wistful thoughts.

She turned over to see a young man, in his twenties, nervously looking around him as the receptionist made a call. She had never seen him before and she wondered why he was asking for her daughter.

She slowly got up, wiped her tears away from her face and stood behind the man.

"Excuse me?" She softly said.

The man turned over and they looked at each other. Ella frowned when she noticed the young man's expression. He didn't seem really well and his eyes were slightly red as if he had cried.

"I'm Aria's mom," Ella said. "I heard that you wanted to see her?"

The young man nervously looked at her and nodded. "I'm Ezra Fitz," he introduced himself. He then seemed to hesitate a few seconds before adding. "Aria's teacher."

"Oh," Ella said. "Thank you for being here, that's really nice of you."

"How…How is she?" He asked, trying to control his trembling voice.

A small smile played on Ella's lips. "She's going to be fine."

A huge relief hit Ezra at this confession and he did his best not to show it too much.

"Do you think I can see her?" Ezra hopefully asked. That was the only thing he wanted and he didn't care if it seemed weird or not, he just wanted to be with her, he needed to see her, to make sure she really was alright.

Ella softly nodded. "Of course," she replied. "My husband is with her right now, so if you can wait a few minutes…"

Ezra nodded in affirmation. "Of course."

He followed Aria's mom up to the waiting room and took a seat next to her. He took the occasion to have a better look at her. She was still a pretty woman with her thin body and her long black hair. Her eyes reminded him of Aria's even if they couldn't compete with the hazel eyes he was so in love with. But that wasn't the only thing that Aria and her mother had in common. The same sadness that he was so used to seeing in Aria's eyes emanated from her mother as well and Ezra could tell that it wasn't just because of the current situation, it was deeper than that, just like for Aria.

"How is she doing in school?" Ella suddenly asked Ezra.

"Well," the young teacher nervously began. "She's doing well. She's really good in English."

Ella weakly smiled. "I know. She loves reading," her smiled suddenly vanished as she sighed. "She used to, before…."

Ezra didn't say anything as he exactly knew what Aria's mom was referencing to.

"Does she have friends?" Ella asked. "I mean, does she at least speak with other kids?"

Ezra nodded in affirmation. "Yes, I think so," he answered. "I saw her talking with some girls from her class."

"That's good," Ella softly said as a small smile spread her face. "That's what I want for her, a normal life. That's what I have always wanted…."

"Can I ask you something?" Ezra nervously asked.

Ella nodded. "Of course. "

Ezra knew it was a touchy subject but he needed to know what had happened. "What happened exactly?" He asked. "I mean, I saw her yesterday at school and she seemed…fine? So I don't understand why she…." He stopped unable to finish his sentence.

Ella frowned a few seconds before realizing what Ezra was talking about. "Oh, no," she let out. "That is not like that; my daughter didn't try to kill herself again."

Surprise flashed across Ezra's face. "She didn't?"

Ella shook her head in negation. "No." She confirmed. "We…had a kind of argument and …she took the car, I tried to stop her but I couldn't and then I received a call from the police, her car left the road."

A sigh of relief escaped Ezra's lips; even in this situation, the fact that Aria hadn't wanted to die made a big difference.

All of sudden, Ezra heard a soft sob and when he looked back at Aria's mother, tears were falling down her cheeks.

Ezra got up from his seat and put an arm on Aria's mom shoulder.

"It's my fault," she confessed, sobbing.

Ezra shook his head. "Don't say that, it was an accident."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Ella argued. "My baby girl is a mess and it's my fault. I destroyed her life."

Ezra didn't know what to say as he had no clue what she was talking about but as he looked at Aria's mother he suddenly got why her and Aria looked so alike. They both shared the same overwhelming feeling which was consuming them day after day: guilt.

"Her life is not destroyed," Ezra suddenly said. "I know she went through a lot and that she's still dealing with that, but I know she can learn how to live with. I know she's able to get better, she's fighting every day. It's going to be a long way, but she can do it, and I'm not just talking about the accident, I'm talking about everything else, she can get better. The guilt that she feels, she can fight it or at least try to leave with."

Ella looked at Ezra with her teary eyes, surprised that a stranger knows her daughter so well, better than herself.

Ezra suddenly realized that he had said too much, he wasn't supposed to know all these things about Aria, for her mother he was only her teacher, nothing more.

Ella was about to ask questions, to ask how he knew all these things about her daughter when Byron suddenly entered the room.

"Ella, you should go see her now, she's awake," Byron said. Then he noticed Ezra's presence and gave him a questionable look.

"Oh," Ella said, wiping some tears away. "It's Aria's teacher. He came for her."

Byron gave Ezra a handshake. "Thank you for coming."

"I think he should go see her first, I will go later."

Byron looked at his wife with an astonished look and so did Ezra. He didn't understand why Mrs. Montgomery didn't want to see her daughter who had just woken up from a coma. But he was too happy to get a chance to see Aria and followed her father without adding a word.

As soon as her husband and Aria's teacher left, Ella sighed and kept torturing herself with her wistful thoughts.

What was going to happen now? Would her daughter ever be able to forgive her? Was she going to tell everything to Byron? Should she do it first?

"Ella?"

She shivered at the sound of the voice that she knew so well and that had still the power to make her feel so different feelings.

She turned over and they looked at each other for a few seconds as Ella swallowed hard.

"You came," she whispered, her eyes full of emotion.

**A few hours earlier.**

_Ella hysterically looked for her cell phone in her purse as the tears fell down her face. The police had just come to her house to tell her that__ they had found her daughter unconscious in her car and that she had to immediately go to the hospital. _

_She finally found her phone and started dialing Byron's number but suddenly stopped. She didn't know why, it didn't make any sense but at the moment she needed to do that. She started dialing another number and her heart beat faster at every ring._

"Yes?_" She heard on the other side of the phone._

_She took a deep breath and tried to control the flow of tears which were cascading her cheeks._

_"It's me, I told the truth to Aria!" She confessed. "It went wrong and she…she took the car and…"_

"Why are you calling me?" _He abruptly interrupted her. _"I thought I had made myself clear. I don't want anything to do with you or her!"

"_She's in the hospital!" Ella said as a loud sob escaped her mouth. "She might die."_

_A silence answered her confession. _

"_Please, I need you!"_

* * *

"Honey," Byron said, opening the hospital room door where his injured daughter was in. "There's someone for you."

Ezra saw Aria moving her head to the side and a small smile crossing her face when she saw him.

"I'm going to leave you," Byron told Ezra. " I need to call Mike, my son, please let me know if there is any problem."

Ezra nodded and Byron left, shutting the door behind him.

Ezra looked at Aria and softly smiled. She had a big bandage around her head, a lot of scratches on her tiny arms and one of her cheeks was badly bruised but she was still beautiful.

"Hey," Aria said with a soft voice. "You came."

Ezra nodded and approached her bed. "Of course I did. I came as soon as I knew."

Aria smiled but her smile quickly vanished and was soon replaced by a worried expression. "You shouldn't be here. My parents are going to get suspicious."

"Don't worry; they only think I'm a teacher worried for his student." He then paused and gently brushed his thumb along her bruised cheek.

"I was so worried about you," he whispered.

"I didn't do this on purpose," Aria immediately said. "I want you to know that, I swear that…"

Ezra pressed a finger on her lips, interrupting her. "I know."

Then, after making sure that nobody could watch him, Ezra leant over and gently pressed his lips against hers.

They smiled at each other when Ezra pulled away but Aria suddenly stopped smiling and got pale.

Ezra looked at her with a worried look. "Aria? Are you alright?"

Aria didn't say anything, her eyes looking at something behind him.

Ezra turned over and surprise flashed across his face when he spotted a familiar person standing on the doorway.

Aria swallowed hard before saying softy. "Mr. Dilaurentis?"

* * *

**So, what do you think?**

**Please review, your reviews always make me happy.**

**And again, a big thank you for the feedback you're giving me and for the follows/ favorites as well.**

**Sorry for any mistake.**

**xoxo**


	18. Chapter 18

**I know, I know, it's been a while. I'm really sorry it took me so long to update. But as we say: _better late than never_ ;)**

**Also, a big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter or followed the story.**

**So, there is chapter eighteen. (I suggest you re-read the last chapter if you forgot what happened)**

* * *

**Chapter eighteen**

Kenneth Dilaurentis stayed on the doorway, looking at Aria and the man in front of him. It didn't take him long to recognize the young man he had talked to a few weeks ago, the same man who was with Aria when he had seen her at the bookshop. Her boyfriend probably, even if he seemed older than her.

He then looked back at _her._ She didn't seem really well; a big bandage was wrapped all around her head and her cheeks were bruised as well as her arms. But she was alive; at least she had made it out alive. His daughter hadn't had the same chance.

He had hated her so much, _her_, the girl who had killed his only daughter. He had even wished her death, as if the simple fact to know that she wasn't living anymore would make things easier for him, would make the loss of his daughter easier to handle. But, now, as he was watching her, lying on the hospital bed, her face bruised and bloody, he didn't feel any satisfaction, the only thing he felt was what he had been feeling since one year, since this terrible night: pain.

"What…What are you doing here?" Aria shuttered.

"Your mother called me," he simply replied. When Ella had called him a few hours earlier, crying and telling him that her daughter was about to die, he had told her that he didn't care and a part of him had just thought 'this is justice!' But then, he had thought of his daughter. Alison loved Aria so much. She wasn't an easy kid and could be really mean with other people, her parents and brother included, but he knew that she had always cared for Aria.

He did know that he had played a huge role in his daughter's death. If only he hadn't been so careless. If only he had been able to prevent the girls from taking the car that night.

But the truth was, that he had been more focused on what this discovery meant for him and Ella: a chance to finally come clean. He was in love with her. When they had started their affair, no feeling was involved. His marriage was failing apart and he needed a distraction. Ella was here and it just happened. But, over time, it had changed, and he'd started having feeling for his lover. He had even started considering leaving his wife for her, which he would have probably done.

But then the accident had happened. He would never forget the moment Aria had stepped into the room, and the expression on her face when she had spotted her mother and him in his bed. She had immediately run away with Alison. Ella had panicked but he hadn't. He remembered thinking _'that's not that bad, everything's going to be just fine." _If only he had known…

He was still trying to persuade her that everything was going to be alright when the hospital had called him. And then, his whole life had crashed down.

During all these years, he had survived thanks to the hate he had towards Aria. He had wanted to keep hating her because he knew that if he stopped, then the guilt and the pain would be unbearable for him to handle.

But now it had to stop.

"Can we…have some privacy?" Kenneth asked, looking at Ezra, silently begging him to leave.

Ezra looked at Aria for approval and, when she nodded, he got up from his seat and walked toward the door.

"I'll be right here," he told Aria before leaving the hospital room, throwing a suspicious look at Alison's father in the process.

When Ezra closed the door behind him, Kenneth took a few steps toward Aria's hospital bed and kept looking at her.

Aria nervously twisted her hand together, wondering what he was doing here and what he wanted. She couldn't even look at him in the eyes. How could she look into the eyes of the father of the girl that she had killed?

"How are you feeling?" Mr. Dilaurentis asked.

"I…I think I'm okay," the young girl nervously answered.

Alison's father nodded.

They stayed a few seconds looking at each other as an awkward silence settled in the white hospital room.

Aria was the first one to shatter it. "Mr. Dilaurentis, what are you doing here?"

The middle-aged man sighed and approached her bed, staying at a reasonable distance from her.

"You know, I hated you so much, Aria," he started.

Aria looked at her hands as her heart started beating faster. Yes, she did know that. She knew he hated her, and that what something she understood perfectly as she had never stopped hating herself for what she had done to her best friend.

"I even wished your death," Kenneth Dilaurentis confessed.

'_So did I._' Aria couldn't help but think as a bathroom floor with pills all over it and her high school roof came to her mind.

"But now it needs to stop. I can't keep doing it and neither do you," Kenneth said. "I know I played a role in my daughter's death too but…"

"I know, my mom told me what happened," Aria interrupted him. "But it doesn't change anything, I'm the responsible one."

Her mother had told her that it was her fault if she had taken the car that night, but Aria knew that it didn't excuse everything. She had drunk and should never have driven, no matter how upset she was. She would never let someone say otherwise. She would never let anyone say it wasn't her fault.

Kenneth nodded in approval. "I'm not saying you're not responsible. You should never have taken the car that night, but I can't keep going on like that. Hating you was what permitted me to handle the situation, to put my own responsibility aside. But now, it needs to stop. I can't keep hating you like that and you can't keep hurting yourself over and over again."

He saw the surprise flashed across her face at his words.

"Your mother told me what happened during your school charity event," he clarified.

Aria's cheeks slightly reddened at the mention of the night Ezra had prevented her from jumping from the roof. She knew it had been a mistake, but a tiny part of her was still thinking that she deserved to die and that scared her. Even if she had promised Ezra that she would never try to kill herself again, if she was perfectly honest with herself, she had to admit that she wasn't sure she would be able to keep that promise. She did know that there would be other moments when the pain and the guilt would take back the upper hand, and she didn't know what she would do then. She did love Ezra, and she wanted to keep her promise. For the first time since Alison's death, she wanted to get better, but guilt was an overwhelming feeling that she knew she would probably never get rid of. An overwhelming feeling which could, in her darkest moments, make her do irreparable things.

"You need to stop doing that, Aria," Kenneth added.

"So what should I do? Forgive myself?"

She knew she would never be able to do that. How could she?

Alison's father kept silence for a few minutes, thinking about Aria's question.

"We both know you'll never be able to completely do that, just like I'll never be able to forgive you completely or forgive myself for what happened that night," he let out. "But maybe you should try to live with it. Maybe we should both try."

He paused a few seconds as the realization came to him. "Maybe that's how things are supposed to be; maybe our punishment is to live with that." As he was saying that, he looked vacantly into space as if he was talking more to himself than to Aria.

They looked at each other for a few more seconds, as if they were both thinking about that until Kenneth spoke again. "I probably should get going now."

"Mr. Dilaurentis!" Aria stopped him as he started walking toward the door.

He turned over and faced her. "Yes?"

"How can you tell me all these things after what I did to your family?" Aria asked him. "I killed your daughter!"

She got what he meant by wanting to stop hating her, but she couldn't understand how he had found the courage to come here, to face her, after what she had done.

Kenneth sighed loudly and looked at Aria right in the eyes. "Because I know it's what Alison would have wanted. She loved you."

A tear suddenly escaped Aria's eye and came rolling down on her bruised cheek at these words.

"So did I."

* * *

Kenneth Dilaurentis exited Aria's room, and started walking toward the exit. He would never have thought that a conversation with Aria, the girl who was grandly responsible for his daughter's death could make him feel this way. He had always thought that, if one day he talked to her again, it would only rekindle his hate and pain but, strangely, for the first time since this terrible night, he felt some kind of relief. He knew he would always feel guilty and that he would never be able to completely forgive Aria, but he also knew that Alison would have been proud of him for what he had just done.

Ella, who was still sitting in the waiting room, got up from her seat when she saw Kenneth coming back from her daughter's room.

"Where is your husband?" Kenneth asked her.

"He's picking Mike up to bring him here."

They remained silence for a few seconds, looking at each other.

"I talked to her," Kenneth suddenly let out. "I think she's going to be fine."

Ella bit on her lower lip as her eyes welled up with tears. "I hope so."

Yes, Aria was fine, for now. But what would happen next? Did she really want to be fine? Would she jump on the first occasion to swallow a box of pills? Would this ever stop? Would she one day be able to stop wanting to die?

"She will," Kenneth insisted. "She has you, her father, her brother and her boyfriend."

Ella furrowed her brows in confusion. "No, she…she doesn't have a boyfriend."

"But what about the man who was with her?"

"Mr. Fitz? Oh no, he is one of her teacher," Ella explained.

Aria's mother did notice the surprise and the suspicion which flashed over Kenneth's face. "But I…I just thought that…anyway…"

Kenneth knew for sure that no matter what Ella thought, the man he had seen with Aria was more than her teacher, but, deciding that it was none of his business he just said: "I probably should get going."

He was on the point to leave when she stopped him. "Kenneth, please, wait."

Ella then slowly walked to him and put her hands on his as she locked eyes with him. "Thank you, Kenneth, thank you so much for what you did tonight."

A part of her had regretted calling him as soon as she had hung up. She knew he had suffered enough, he had lost his child, and she couldn't even imagine the horror it should be. How do you manage to live when your child dies? She had almost lost her daughter, twice, and every time she had told herself _'I won't survive that.' _But at the moment, it had felt like he was the only one who could help her daughter. Yes, she hadn't tried to kill herself, not this time, but Ella knew she would do it again. They had saved her twice, but there would come a day when they would come too late. It was a lot too ask for, she did know that, and, if she was perfectly honest with herself, she had to admit that she hadn't even thought he would come.

Alison's father nodded, hesitated a few seconds and then gently brushed his thumb along Ella's cheek, wiping away a few tears in the process.

Ella shivered and let out a soft sigh at this contact which reminded her of so much.

The two ex-lovers then looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds, sharing an intense look filled with sadness , both of them wondering what their life could have been like if things had been different. Then, they both slowly leaned toward each other before gently pressing their lips together in a soft kiss. The kiss barely last one second but they both needed it. They knew they could never change the past and that what had happened couldn't be undone, but they needed it, they needed a closure to a story which had never been ended.

"Goodbye, Ella," Kenneth said, looking at the woman he had loved and probably still loved, for the last time.

A small smile spread across the middle aged woman's face. "Goodbye, Kenneth."

She waited until he was out of sight, took a deep breath, wiped the few tears which were still on the corners of her eyes before making her way to Aria's room. She couldn't avoid her forever, she had to face her daughter, it was high time. She had to tell her how sorry she was and that she would respect her decision to tell Byron or not about her affair with Alison's father.

Aria's hospital room was slightly opened and Ella stopped when she noticed that Mr. Fitz was still in here with her. She couldn't hear what they were talking about, but they seemed to be in a pretty serious discussion. Aria was talking, and her teacher was seriously listening and nodding.

Ella furrowed her brows in confusion, surprised that her daughter could have so much to say to her teacher. She almost felt like she was spying on them, as if she was interrupting what was an intimate moment. She shook her head, realizing how stupid it was. She was about to enter the room, when she saw Ezra Fitz placing his hand on Aria's .She watched with astonishment as Aria took Ezra's hand in hers and softly smiled at him.

As Ella watched the awkward interaction between her daughter and her teacher, she thought about what Alison's father had just said and, realized that he was probably not so wrong.

* * *

**A few days later**

Aria looked at herself in the mirror and rearranged her long dark hair so that they hide her still visible wound. Almost a week had passed since the accident, and she had just been released from the hospital the day before.

She didn't really know how she was feeling. The conversation she had had with Alison's father had shattered her, but not in a bad way. She still couldn't believe that he had come to see her and had told her all these things. Now she was seeing things differently. She had always thought that she deserved to die because of what she had done to Alison, but maybe she was wrong. Maybe Alison's father was right and maybe she had to live, live and accept what she had done. She still wasn't sure to have the right to live and be happy after what she had done but, maybe she could at least try. A few months ago, she would never have thought this way, but now, for the first time, she had someone who made her want to get better.

A small smile played on her lips at the thought of Ezra.

"Aria?" A voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

She glanced at the door to see her brother standing on the doorway.

"Hi, Mike," she greeted him.

Mike gently smiled at her. "I was wondering if you'd want to go to the movies with me," he shyly asked.

Aria looked at him with round eyes, surprised by his offer. That was the first time since she was back from the psychiatric hospital that he actually wanted to spend time with her. Indeed, over the last few months, they had barely spoken to each other and, on the rare occasions when they had, it had turned into a fight.

"You're not afraid of being seen with me?" She said, remembering what he had told her on the first day of school, that he didn't want anybody to know that she was his sister.

Mike seemed embarrassed and nervously bit on his lip. "I'm sorry, Aria, for everything."

Aria looked at him and smiled softly. "Mike, don't worry about that. It's okay."

Aria's brother took a few steps toward her, entering her room, and shook his head. "No, it's not okay. I've been acting like a total jerk during these past few months. All the things I said to you…." He stopped, looking down.

Aria chewed the corner of her lip as she watched her brother's eyes fill up with tears. "Mike, I'm not angry with you, I know it was difficult for you too. I understand, you know."

"I was so angry with you," Mike confessed. "But not because of what happened to Alison, but because everything changed after that. Mom started drinking; Dad was never home as if he was avoiding us and you…" Mike stopped, but she knew what he would have said. '_You were a mess who tried to kill herself.'_

"Our whole family fell apart and I put the blame on you."

Aria shrugged. "That was actually my fault, Mike."

The young teenage boy shook his head in negation. "Not everything. I shouldn't have treated you the way I did. I just want you to know that I didn't mean what I said. I'm happy you're back home and," he stopped for a second; just like his sister, saying these kind of things wasn't easy for him. "I love you, Aria."

A smile spread across Aria's face when the words slipped out of her brother's mouth. Hearing her brother saying that he loved her, a sentence she thought she would never hear again from him, brought tears to her eyes. She crossed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around him. "I love you too, Mike."

Brother and sister hugged each other for the first time since almost two years, both of them not bothering of the tears which rolled down their cheeks.

"So what about this movie?" Mike asked his sister when they pulled away.

Aria bit her lip. "Would you mind going tomorrow? I kind of have something very important to do today."

Mike nodded in affirmation. "Sure. Tomorrow then."

* * *

When she entered the kitchen, her mother was sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in front of her. Aria discreetly glanced at the liquid to make sure it was actually coffee and it was.

"Don't worry, it's just coffee," Ella suddenly said, catching Aria's gaze on her drink.

"I wasn't…" Aria tried to pretend she wasn't looking for alcohol in her Mom's cup as her cheeks shyly reddened.

Ella gently smiled. "Don't worry, honey. How are you feeling today?"

"I'm quite fine," Aria answered.

Ella nodded. "Good. Actually, Aria, I would like to talk to you about something," Ella started but stopped when she noticed that Aria had already her shoes on, as if she was planning on getting out.

"Are you going somewhere?"

Aria nodded in affirmation. "Yes, actually, I…need to go to Spencer's, a girl from school, we have a science project to work on, it's very important. I don't think I will be back before dinner," she lied. But it wasn't' completely a lie, she did have something really important to do today, even if it didn't involve Spencer.

Ella suspiciously looked at her but nodded. "Alright."

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Aria asked her mother.

Ella shook her head. "Don't worry about it, it can wait."

* * *

A large grin spread across Ezra's face when he saw Aria in front of his door.

"Hi," he said, stepping to the side to allow her entry. He hadn't seen her since he had visited her in the hospital and he'd missed her. Of course, it wasn't as if he could show up to her house to see her.

He gently wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into a thigh embrace. Aria sighed in contentment at the feeling of Ezra's arms around her and put her head in the crook of his neck.

"How are you feeling?" He asked her when they pulled apart.

Aria softly smiled. "Good."

"Are you sure?" Ezra insisted, worried.

Aria nodded in affirmation. "Yes, I'm fine." She seemed to hesitate a few seconds before finally talking. "Actually, Ezra, I would like you to do me a favor?"

"Of course, anything."

She had thought about it a lot since she had talked to Alison's father and now it was time, she knew it was.

"I would like you to come with me somewhere today."

Ezra nodded. "Where?"

"In Rosewood," she confessed.

As Ezra furrowed his brows in confusion, she explained. "That's the town where I lived before I came here."

"Oh, you mean it's where…"

Aria nodded, knowing what he meant.

"But… Why do you want to go back there?"

He was quite confused; never would he have thought that Aria would want to come back to the town where so much had happened.

"I have something very important to do, and I want you to come with me," she confessed.

"What is it?" Ezra asked more and more confused.

Again, she hesitated, as if she still wasn't sure herself. She looked down for a moment and finally looked up at him. When she spoke again, her voice was clear and decided. "Say goodbye to Alison. "

She'd never gotten the chance to say goodbye to her as she hadn't been able to stay for the funeral. A few weeks ago, she would have never had the courage to come back to the place where she had so many awful memories. She would have never dared to go to Alison's grave after what she'd done to her, but now, she felt like she had to. She needed that, she needed to see her grave and tell her all the things she wanted to tell the girl who had been and would always be her best friend. She had planned on asking her mom or dad to go, and she was sure they would have accepted, but then, she had realized there was only one person she wanted to go with: Ezra. He was the one who had permitted her to finally open up, who had given her hopes. For the first time since what had happened, she felt like there was a life waiting ahead for her. For the first time she started to allow herself to think of the future, and it was thanks to him.

She anxiously bit on her lip as she waited for his answer.

"Of course," Ezra answered. "If it's what you want, we'll go together."

* * *

**So, what do you think? I hope you liked it.**

**Also, I want to say that there is still two more chapters left, maybe three, I'm not sure. I've already started writing the next one, so hopefully, I'll upload soon.**

**Once again, I'm sorry for the wait, I hope you're still reading and please, review .**

**And , if you want to find me on twitter, I'm Calypsazria :)**

**xoxo**


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you so much for your reviews and tweets on the last chapter :)**

* * *

**Chapter nineteen**

As he stopped at a red light, Ezra turned his head to the right to look at a sleeping Aria on the passenger seat. They had been driving for more than two and a half hours, and Aria had fallen asleep almost as soon as they had left.

Ezra wasn't sure that coming back to the town where the tragic event, which had shattered her life so badly, had happened, was a good idea, but if it was what she needed so he was willing to help her as much as he could. He was grateful that she had asked him to come with her, she was finally opening up to him instead of shutting him out like she used to, which was a huge step in their relationship.

A few moments later, the GPS squeaky voice resounded in the car, letting them know that they had reached their destination: Rosewood. The announcement woke Aria up and she stirred slowly before looking through the car window. Ezra saw her tense when she recognized the town she had grown up in.

The young girl felt her heart beating faster as she recognized the place she had left almost two years ago. Everything was the same. Nothing had changed but, at the same time, nothing was the same. As the car drove along the little town, making its way to the cemetery, a lot of memories came back to her. She remembered all the time Ali and she had spent in the park, eating ice cream or gossiping like the careless teenagers they were. As they passed in front of the mall, the long shopping afternoons they had had together caused a sad smile to play on her lips. Her former high school was a reminder of the person she was, careless and happy. Her eyes filled up with tears when she spotted the table where Alison and she used to have their lunch. It was always the two of them, there wasn't any room for another person, they were too close to each other to let someone else enter their private circle.

"Are you alright?" Ezra asked her, briefly looking at her and pulling her out of her thoughts.

Aria nodded. "Yes, It's just…a lot of memories."

"I know. It must bring back all your bad memories."

"Actually… there're good memories too."

She realized that this town wasn't only the place where she had killed her best friend, but also the place where she had gotten the chance to spend time with her, to know her. If she hadn't met her, none of this would have happened, but still, she would never take it back.

"Aria, I think it's here," Ezra suddenly said as he stopped the car in front of a cemetery. Aria looked up and a shiver ran down her spin at the sight of the small and old cemetery.

Ali and she had gone there on Halloween day with a bunch of kids from their school. Ali had been the one to tell scary stories, everybody was hung on her every words, and Aria had watched with amusement as fear had flashed across their faces as they listened to the horrible story Ali and she had made up. They had had a great time, even in a place like that. Little did they know that a few months later, Alison would have her own grave in this same cemetery.

She suddenly started to feel dizzy and wondered if it was a good idea. Maybe she shouldn't be here, maybe she had been wrong and it would only make things worse.

Ezra's hand, which gently touched her shoulder, snapped her back to reality. "You don't have to do that, you know. We can leave if you want to."

She remained silence for a few seconds, debating with herself, before shaking her head in negation. "No, I have to do that."

"Okay, so let's go," Ezra said, opening his car door.

"Ezra?" Aria suddenly stopped him.

"Yes?"

She bit on her lip. "Actually, I'm sorry but …can you just wait for me in the car? It's something I have to do alone."

"Are you sure?" Ezra insisted.

Aria nodded in affirmation. She needed to do that by herself, she wanted to be alone, alone with her best friend_. '__There are some walks you have to take alone'. _

"Yes."

"Okay, I'll go get some coffee and something to eat then. Take all the time you need."

Aria gave him a small smile, took a deep breath and made her way to the cemetery.

* * *

Her eyes wandered on every name etched on the marble stones, as she made her way between the graves. She couldn't prevent her heart from beating faster and her hands from getting moist as she passed the graves one by one. The closer she got, the more her uncertainties came back.

What was she doing here? Was it a good idea? Was she really able to do it?

A part of her wanted nothing more than to turn over and come back right into Ezra's car, but another one knew she had to do that, no matter how difficult it was.

She was still building up her courage when her eyes caught the so familiar name on the stone.

_Alison Dilaurentis (1994- 2010)_

_Beloved daughter, sister and friend._

As much as she had prepared herself to that, she couldn't help the wave of feelings which hit her at this moment.

Her heart squeezed at the sight of the name of the person who had been her best friend for almost half her life; the person she had shared so much with; the person she had killed. Her eyes welled up with tears when her look caught the photo on the grave. The blond girl was smiling widely at the camera, her long blond hair curled up in perfect locks, flowing on her shoulders. How could this happy person be under the ground right now? But she perfectly knew the answer: she was there because of her, she had done this to her.

"Hi, Ali," she finally spoke, her voice trembling. "It's me, Aria."

She remained silence for a few minutes, looking at the beautiful flowers all around the grave.

"I'm so sorry, Ali," she finally let out, her voice broken by the tears she was trying to hold back. "I'm sorry I yelled at you that night, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, I'm sorry I took the car, I'm so sorry I didn't slow down when you told me to and…" She stopped, taking a deep breath before letting out the painful words. "I'm so sorry that you died because of me."

A light breeze suddenly caused a shiver to run through her body and she wrapped her arms around her thin shoulders, a gesture she had adopted since the accident, as if she was scared of falling apart at any moment.

"I wanted to die for what I did to you, I really did," Aria carried on. "I know I'm the one who should have died, not you."

She paused again as the conversation she had had with Alison's father came back to her mind.

"But now, it needs to stop. Maybe I deserve to die, I don't know, and I want you to know that I will never forgive myself for what I did to you, never. But … now I want to stop hurting myself. My family needs me and ...I met someone. I'm sure you'd love him."

A small smile spread across her face at this thought. Ezra had been her teacher, so of course Alison would have loved him; Alison loved scandals.

"For the first time, I feel like there's hope for me, maybe I'm wrong, I don't know, but I need to try. Try to live."

She inhaled sharply. "And for that, I need to say goodbye."

She got closer to the grave and let her fingers run on the picture, caressing the contours of Alison's face as her other hand wiped some tears away from her face.

She then reached into her pocket and got out the tiny bracelet that she had kept very carefully under her bed in a small red box. She shouldn't even have it with her anyway, it didn't belong to her.

_**Rosewood, on Labor Day. **_

"_Aria, you really need to get rid of this dress so that I can check on you," the doctor pleaded her in a soft tone. She had refused to get rid of her dress since they had reached the hospital. She had just kept looking into space, her arms tightly wrapped around herself as her brain was still trying to process the terrible event._

"_Cardiac arrest, room 26, we need you," another doctor suddenly busted into the room._

_Aria's doctor looked at her. "Look, I have to let you for a few minutes, wait in here. I won't be long," she said before exiting the room as quickly as she could._

_After a few seconds, Aria slowly got up and exited the hospital room. She walked in the corridors, like a sleepwalker, the doctors too busy to even notice the young girl who was still wearing the red dress stained by her dead best friend's blood. _

_Her steps brought her to the room where she had seen them taking _Alison_ when they had arrived._

_She pushed the door which was slightly open and entered the room. There was no one in here. Why would a doctor be here? There was nothing which could be done for her anymore._

_Then she saw _her_._

_She was lying on the metallic table, the white sheet barely covering her naked body. They had even taken off her clothes! The thought of a stranger undressing Alison made her sick to her stomach. She got closer to her best friend's lifeless body as hot tears started falling down her face. It couldn't be possible, it couldn't be real. How could she be staring at her best friend's lifeless and naked body on a metallic table? She was going to wake up and Alison would be here, smiling and alive. But the closer she got to the table, the more real it became._

"_Ali…" she whispered when she reached her, as if she was just going to open her blue eyes. But deep down, she knew that these blue eyes would never see the light again. _

_Her look went down on her hands, crossing on her chest, and that was when her eyes caught the little_ thread _bracelet with Alison's name on it. Since they had given each other a similar bracelet with their names on it, when they were nine, Alison had never gone anywhere without it. Unfortunately, Aria had lost hers a few months ago, which had gotten her really upset._

_Suddenly, without even realizing it, her tiny fingers reached over for Alison's cold hand and delicately started undoing the tiny bracelet. She needed to keep it; she needed to have something which had belonged to Alison. Just like she had been the one to tie it around Alison's hand many years ago, she was the one to remove it from her wrist._

"_There you are!" The doctor who had let her in the room suddenly said behind her_

"_You shouldn't be in here," the young woman sadly said. "Come on. Your parents are on their way," she told her, taking Aria by her shoulders and leading her toward the exit. __Aria followed the doctor without any resistance, her fingers tightly squeezed around the little bracelet in the palm of her hand._

Aria looked at the old tiny bracelet in her hand. She had secretly kept it under her bed with the only photo she had kept of Alison. In the psychiatric hospital, she used to hide it under her mattress and take it out at night, caressing the letters which formed her best friend's name before falling asleep.

She had hesitated a lot to take it with her before coming here, but she felt like it was time. Time to give it back to whom it belonged to, time to let it go. She didn't need that to remember her best friend, she would never forget. How could she?

Looking at the jewelry one more time, the young girl then delicately put it on her friend's grave.

"Goodbye Ali," she said in a soft voice. "I love you. Forever."

* * *

Ezra leaned toward the passenger seat and opened the door when he saw Aria coming back toward his car. She slowly held herself up onto the seat and closed the car door. Ezra looked at her, trying to read her feelings, but Aria kept staring at an invisible point right in front of her.

"Aria," he hesitantly began. "Are you alright?"

Aria didn't answer right away and suddenly looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears. "I don't know."

She couldn't describe or explain to someone how she felt as she didn't even know herself. A bunch of different feelings were rushing through her at this moment. Pain, sadness and this so familiar feeling: guilt. But something else was also here, maybe a kind of relief, as if the fact to see Alison's grave and tell her all the things she had always wanted to tell her, had taken a weight off her shoulders and heart.

She only realized that hot tears were running down her face when she felt Ezra gently wiping them away with his thumb.

He then gently leaned toward her and wrapped his arms around her small frame as she buried her face into his chest, tightly wrapping her arms around his neck.

He ran his fingers through her long dark locks and kissed the top of her head as he let her cry against him.

He didn't tell or ask her anything. She didn't need that. She just needed someone to be here for her in this very important and difficult moment which probably marked the first step of the long way she still had to go.

* * *

Ella threw a look at the folded paper in her hand to double-check the address written on it, and make sure that she was at the right place.

She had looked on the internet for that information, a few days ago actually, but until now, she hadn't been able to make a decision. But now, there she was, standing in front of apartment 3B.

Since she had witnessed the scene between her daughter and the man who had introduced himself as her teacher, she hadn't been able to get it out of her head. She still wasn't sure of what exactly was going on or if something was really going on, but she needed to find out. She hadn't talked to Byron about her doubts; their family had enough problems without adding that on top, especially if it happened to be nothing.

She had recently made a huge decision, she was planning on going to rehab. She knew she wasn't strong enough to cure herself and she was aware that she needed help. She hadn't told her family yet, and before that, she wanted to make sure everything was alright with Aria.

As she was about to knock on the door, a voice resounded in the corridor.

"He is not here."

Ella turned over to face an old woman, probably in her sixties, holding a grocery bag in her arms.

"I'm Mrs. Rosenthal," the woman introduced herself to Ella. "His neighbor."

"Nice to meet you," Ella replied. "So… are you sure Mr. Fitz isn't here?"

The old woman nodded. "Yes, I saw them left this morning."

"Them?"

"Yes, he was with his girlfriend."

Relief flashed all over Ella's face as soon as the words fell from the woman's mouth. "Oh, he is living with someone!"

She suddenly felt pretty stupid for thinking that he could have been in a relationship with her teenage daughter and she was grateful that she hadn't gotten the chance to make a fool of herself in front of him.

"Oh, no, she's not living here, but she comes here quite often," Mrs. Rosenthal replied.

"Really?" Ella said, suddenly intrigued.

Mrs. Rosenthal smiled. "Yes. Not that I really know her, they're pretty discrete and Ezra Fitz is always so secretive, but I'm pretty observant!" She said with pride as a big smile spread across her face.

Ella then reached into her bag for her wallet and removed a picture of Aria. It had been taken a few months before Alison's death. In the picture, Aria was smiling widely to the camera; happiness and insouciance written all over her face. So different from the girl she was now.

Ella showed the picture to the woman. "Have you ever seen this girl here?"

Mrs. Rosenthal took the photo from Ella's hands, readjusted her huge red glasses on her nose before taking a look at the picture.

"Oh, yes!" She exclaimed. "Actually that's her. His girlfriend!"

Ella was barely able to hide the shock caused by Mrs. Rosenthal's revelation. "Are you sure?"

The woman nodded. "Yes! I never forget a face, never."

So it was true. But it couldn't be, could it?

"Are you alright?" The woman asked, noticing Ella's face which had gotten pale over the past few seconds.

Ella nodded. "Yes, I…I should get going."

"Do you want me to tell him you came by?"

Ella shook her head in negation. "No, don't worry. I found what I was looking for."

* * *

**So, what do you think?**

**There's just one more chapter left and I'll do my best to upload soon.**

**Do you think, you guys, can take this story up to 400 reviews?( At the end of the story not just with this chapter, of course.) I'd be thrilled if it happened.**

**Once again thank you for reading, and please review.**

**Maddoghurdles: "**Please update! I love this story, I just finished it all in one sitting! Update asap! Btw, is your favorite line open ones eye wide? Lol keep up the good work!" : **You're right, I use it a lot. But I tried to be carful and didn't use it once in the last two chapters ;)**

**Also, thank you to everyone who read and reviewed my one- shot: Something crazy.**

**Twitter: Calypsazria**

**xoxo**


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